Posted on 04/20/2012 5:45:22 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Like this oddball statement from the First Lady:
[Michelle] Obama closed by asking the audience three times, Are you in?
Because I am so in, she said over the applause. We have an amazing story to tell. This president has brought us out of the dark and into the light.
Now generally thats a metaphor for something GOOD happening to you, but given Baracks unmitigated record of disaster, it cant possibly be true in this case. So maybe she meant it like:
______________
1) The obvious death-metaphor of walking toward the light.
2) Train tunnel. Train coming. Obama likes trains.
3) Sunny, breezy, summer day. The roof of your house blows off.
4) Meditating with a single candle. Your curtains catch on fire.
5) Sleeping peacefully at 3am, the EPA exercises a no-knock warrant by throwing a flash-grenade through your window to remind you to use compact fluorescent bulbs.
6) Youre an old-school vampire and your names not Blade.
7) You develop your own film? Cool! Lets have a look at whats soaking in the tray! [click]
8) Out parking with your best girl and Officer McNosy puts 1500 lumens into your eyes.
9) Anyone remember the end of Stalag 17″?
10) Oh look! Cyclops took his visor off!
IBTP!! Woohoo!!!! It’s finally Friday!!!
WOOOOOOO HOO TGIF
Hell yeah its friday!!!!!!!!!
In Before the Ping - Hotdamn!!
In !!!
No. 7.
Your Personality Is Like Alcohol |
Sometimes your behavior gets you in trouble, but you still remain socially acceptable. You're a pretty bad driver, and you're dancing could also use a little work! At your best: You are uninhibited, funny, and relaxed. What people like about being around you: You're friendly, welcoming, and easy to talk to. What people dislike about being around you: You're a little sloppy and careless. How addicted people get to you: A fair amount, though they tend to deny it. |
Top 15? Top 20?
Top < 100!
Top Twenty!! Yee haw!! :)
In before 20! Woot!
FINALLY. OFST! I’m always up and gone to work before it’s posted, so I should get an honorary top ten posting status!
VOTED BEST JOKE IN IRELAND...
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of
me Life, between the legs of me wife !”
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best
toast of the night.”
She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”
John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
beside me wife.”
“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the
other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Aye, he told me and I was a bit surprised myself...
You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years.
“Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.
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