At last, they are making vodka in flavors kids can enjoy...
Posted on 04/28/2012 8:32:43 PM PDT by nickcarraway
It has been 25-odd years since Absolut Peppar and Citron entered the American market, and since then, the flavored-vodka business keeps growing, now representing a quarter of the vodka market. Lemon, cranberry, grapefruit, pear, dragonfruit -- the entire fruit aisle is now being turned into 'tinis. (Though SFoodie is a brown-spirits kind of guy, we will admit to a guilty liking for Absolut Ruby Red, and drink the Alameda-produced Hangar One lime and citron vodkas quite readily.)
As success grows, so does the temptation for distillers to indulge in risk-taking behaviors. Three years ago, vodka companies were still marketing the illusion that they were infusing natural essences into mega-filtered spirits. No more! Vodka has come to out-schnapps schnapps. Pinnacle -- just acquired by the makers of Jim Beam for hundreds of millions of dollars -- has flooded the aisles with vodkas that supposedly taste like cookie dough, gummi (bear), and cake. This past November, Smirnoff released whipped cream and fluffy marshmallow vodkas, and campaign billboards featuring Amber Rose are inescapable. And earlier this month, another daredevil infused-vodka producer, Van Gogh (yeah, the company's Dutch), released Peanut Butter & Jelly.
For SFoodie, news of the PB&J vodka was the last straw. We decided: These extreme vodkas needed to be tasted.*
We requested samples of the most un-naturally flavored vodkas from their producers, and conducted a taste test at the SFoodie International Test Kitchen, aka our desk. Each vodka was tasted within a few seconds of pouring it over over ice. Following are the notes from the tasting panel we convened:
Smirnoff Fluffed Marshmallow Vodka
Smells like: The first hit screams toasted-marshmallow Jelly Belly, followed by vanilla candle. After that comes the impression of sniffing packets of non-dairy creamer blended with cream cheese. In other words, not unpleasant for those of us raised on Peeps and Marshmallow Fluff sundaes.
Tastes like: Sweet. Really sweet. More of a liqueur than a vodka, really -- it has a heavy body, and doesn't need to be diluted or cut with mixers to cover up the spiritous bite. "I could sip this all day," one panel member comments. SFoodie doesn't necessarily agree, preferring to stay sober until lunch, but we can see his point.
Pinnacle Cake Vodka
Smells like: Grain alcohol that someone has stirred together with cheap vanilla icing from a Safeway cupcake. Actually, it doesn't smell like much else -- the cakiness of the cake vodka is faint, and we can't imagine that the flavor of vodka would stand up to mixers. No caketinis for SFoodie, even if the bride-to-be is forcing them on us.
Tastes like: Sweetness hits the tongue first, but it dissipates almost immediately, followed by a strident alcohol heat and bitterness. Within two seconds, all that is left is an acrid, chemical prickliness. Several gulps of ice water are required to flush away the sensation.
Pinnacle Cotton Candy Vodka
Smells like: Raspberry Kool-Aid. No, wait, cherry Kool-Aid, mixed with Nerds and Franken Berry cereal. After a few sniffs, SFoodie does get a whiff of cotton candy, which quickly morphs into mandarin-flavored diet "sparkling water."
Tastes like: The time we got drunk on plastic-bottle vodka and warm Kool-Aid in college, and watched our friends vomit technicolor liquids into the trashcan in the hall. Followed by more of that acrid, off-gassy cheap-vodka flavor. Mm...sippin' on butane and juice.
At last, they are making vodka in flavors kids can enjoy...
Ping
Cake Vodka is awesome, others not so much.
That isn't gay is it? Not there is anything wrong with that.
Ethyl Alcohol is not that difficult. What its’ mixed with seems to be troublesom.
It’s not that difficult ............................................................. FRegards
I have the Cake as well. The others I have not tasted. The marshmallow doesn’t interest me nor does the PB&J. I thought Cake was okay but I probably won’t buy it again. Instead of Diet Coke to cleanse the palate I would have preferred Powers Irish Whiskey.
So do you like it? Or is this a one time trial? I tried the Cake and thought it was okay (Bought it as a gag item for a party) but probably won’t buy again but I may try some of the fruit flavors.
I like the drink. I am on my 5th or 6th tonight. Looking like I will end up on 10th or 11th the way things are going. My peace offering for dinner parties is usually Thunderbird. I circulate with wine snobs and like to poke them in the eye. I am a single malt guy myself.
Well, each to their own, but for myself...yuck. I don’t really like sweet drinks as a general rule. I’ve had a few rum drinks made with fresh fruit juices that I enjoy, and a glass of ruby port can be a real treat. That’s about as far as it goes, though. I’d rather have a gin and tonic or Wild Turkey on the rocks.
I remember a guy on my dorm floor back in college who would mix Mountain Dew with either Southern Comfort or Yukon Jack (can’t remember which). The resulting “drink” was so danged sweet it made my stomach turn.
I have tried (and enjoy) 360 Double Chocolate Vodka. It’s smooth and flavorful. It makes an excellent addition to hot chocolate on those cold winter days.
Ping
bfl
Hey...I grew up on that stuff!
Whatever will the Starbucks, microbrew kids drink now?
They'll find some horrible cr*p and enjoy it "ironically."
Hey...as long as they get a buzz, they will like it.
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