Posted on 05/09/2012 9:38:16 PM PDT by fabian
I sat in the Hollywood, Ca. McDonald's eating my meal as I watched an apparently single young mom berating her young son several seats next to me. He was young, maybe seven or eight years old childish look of innocence still. But I feared that that look would be displaced with one of anger if his mom kept up that badgering diatribe on him; like you do this, you always do that, you are this and that...all negative words that I could see were her projection of anger that she most probably had for the father not being around. I went up and spoke to her, letting her know that he is not a bad kid and she needs to be more calm for him and that she could find that path at www.copingstratiegscd.com. I know that her reaction, while muted, is the type of defensiveness that often keeps people from speaking up to bullies, wherever the are in our lives. I just remained patient and know that the look of "thank you, you are right" look on the boy's face made what I did a blessing to him and not forgotten. I pray that he will be ok, but I know what it is like to be raised by an emotional mom without dad being around to at least modify that anger. The thing is, that many millions of men bail out and leave the rearing of the kids souls to mom, but she is set up to, and can hardly help herself, from resenting the father and passing that automatically down to the kids, especially the males. We, as humans, are already predicated for resentment by the original sin, but for cowardly men to just leave the families, no matter how difficult it is to stick around, is the very reason America is falling badly, not to mention the world. Yes, the cause of so much anger is the vessels of angry women, but the real FAULT lies with the men as they are the God ordained leaders of the world and families. So how can blame be cast on the feminizing of America, without including the real root reason for that? It is like Adam once again blaming Eve rather than seeing and admitting that it was ultimately his fault as he was the one directly spoken to by God, not his mate. She really did what she was compelled to do, and it was Adam's job to say no, or to go along and then God's plan of redemption would play out. But the blame lies squarely on Adam, or did, just as it does now with men for the women taking too much control of many societies. So don't go blaming women for "taking over, and control" in many places of power. Rather, blame the men for opening those doors with your own ego and inflated sexual needs as the true reasons for our failing nation!
Give her a break. /sarc She’s taking out the hatred she has for her ex-husband on the offspring he made with her. So what else is new?
Not a lot..but very bad for the men not to deal with that anger and leave! Cowardly stuff...
I think your happy meal must have been drugged.
It’s difficult for a pair of pants to live with a dress that bought into stealing the pants.
ok
No, I don’t think so! What did I write that is incorrect?
God help such boys as they grow and begin to look like the fathers their mothers hate so much.
So true, Fabian! You’ve reminded me to catch Roy Masters again.. Been too long since I’ve listened to him. Keep speeding the Truth! :)
Thank you. Nice to hear from you.
Not bad, when the oldest one is only 9.
I just wish I lived closer to them, and we'd work on French, Spanish, and Latin. ;)
/johnny
Thank God...very nice!
whoops! mispelled that very important site! www.copingstrategiescd.com
But I don't think it can be blamed on the father, absent or not. I have seen this type of behavior in intact families. Mothers should not psychologically abuse their kids. Period.
Yes, but it is ultimately the man’s leadership role to step in, however he can. The problem is that that resentment is greatly inflated often when the man just leaves, which happens to millions of families. The woman can, with a deep wanting to find God, overcome that and obviously has some responsibility...but the main blame still belongs on the man.
Nor should fathers.
One of my son-in-laws is a very busy man, and somewhat distant emotionally, as he spent 2 tours in the sandbox at the tip of the spear.
But when he spends time with the kids, he spends time with the kids. Those will be memories they carry with them forever.
On the flip side, dear Lord help them on any major infraction. The rules are clear, and are always enforced immediately.
And then it's over.
/johnny
Hello there...
What good became of the women's liberation movement? Nothing. It was bad for marriages, men, real women, sons and daughters, not to mention home prices.
bump
Thank you...
Had your mother taught her children to punctuate, life would be much easier on your readers.
Hah! I have to figure the formatting out because when I wrote it I did write paragraphs. But when I posted, it went to one single paragraph??
Sometimes if one uses one html command, the parsing defaults to assuming all newline/CR are also created by html commands. Carriage Returns are changed to spaces automatically.
So sad to hear stories like this. What a sad world it can be.
Recently, a boy that grew up in the house next door to us hung himself. He was a decent kid but had the same mother you describe in your story and a missing father.
From as far back as I can remember, I would hear her screaming at her kids, calling them the most despicable names and spewing the most vile insults at them I’ve ever heard in my life.
Her other son is in jail and her daughter got pregnant at 13.
Use the html tag < pre > to get pre formatted paragraphs.
Listen to the words she was spewing: "You always..., You never...
Sweeping generalizations which eventually provoke rebellion against that unfairness, with predictable results, often the very behaviour decried.
Some men just leave, granted, others only after years of miserable abuse by some shrew, who was encouraged in her man-hate by pop culture, the MSM, grievance studies, lesbians in general, and Oprah.
Unless and until the selfish grow up and put the welfare of their children first and realize they have to be a team--each giving 100%, babies raising babies will look like The Lord of the Flies.
Getting right with God doesn't hurt.
Your article was right on the money! It’s about time somebody addressed the issue of lack of man doing HIS job!
I was once that single mother, carrying a burden that wasn’t mine alone, but was dumped on me, along with having to try and provide, make ends meet, and be everything a child desires in a mom. I failed in many ways, and succeeded in others. But no matter what, it was overwhelming for all of us.
I wasn’t one who had multiple boyfriends with kids from each. I was a married woman, and all of my children were the offspring of my husband and I. I expected my husband to do his part, but he saw his part of being king of the house as having plenty of drink, a harem, and a fist in my face whenever the mood struck. A year after leaving him, he was shot and killed during the commission of trying to injure somebody else. He was killed by a gun toting woman.
Sometimes justice happens.
The only problem I had with your article was lack of paragraph breaks which made it difficult to read, on screen.
I’m glad you gave the lady a tool she could use, and I hope she uses it. She can use all the help she can get, and so does her child. Chances are, she loves the child very much and in her own warped way, is trying to teach him about what he should become. But she doesn’t know, that the teaching happens at home so that when you take them out the door, it’s habit to behave in a certain manner.
There’s a LOT of pain out there in that world.
Get a grip.
Thanks for your post. I know that as the “man” of the house I sometimes give mom a bit too much power (and responsibility) - and it does get frustrating for her, and she can sometimes be a bit too rough on the kids for some things. Of course - she thinks I’m too hard on them with regard to other things! But - a good reminder, even as an involved father, I need to step up to the plate more often.
Hope I put the paragraphs in okay places for a bit easier reading:
******************************************************
I sat in the Hollywood, Ca. McDonald’s eating my meal as I watched an apparently single young mom berating her young son several seats next to me. He was young, maybe seven or eight years old; childish look of innocence still.
But I feared that that look would be displaced with one of anger if his mom kept up that badgering diatribe on him; like you do this, you always do that, you are this and that...all negative words that I could see were her projection of anger that she most probably had for the father not being around.
I went up and spoke to her, letting her know that he is not a bad kid and she needs to be more calm for him and that she could find that path at www.copingstrategiescd.com
http://www.copingstrategiescd.com/
I know that her reaction, while muted, is the type of defensiveness that often keeps people from speaking up to bullies, wherever they are in our lives. I just remained patient and know that the look of “thank you, you are right” look on the boy’s face made what I did a blessing to him and not forgotten.
I pray that he will be ok, but I know what it is like to be raised by an emotional mom without dad being around to at least modify that anger. The thing is, that many millions of men bail out and leave the rearing of the kids’ souls to mom, but she is set up to, and can hardly help herself, from resenting the father and passing that automatically down to the kids, especially the males.
We, as humans, are already predicated for resentment by the original sin, but for cowardly men to just leave the families, no matter how difficult it is to stick around, is the very reason America is falling badly, not to mention the world.
Yes, the cause of so much anger is the vessels of angry women, but the real FAULT lies with the men as they are the God ordained leaders of the world and families. So how can blame be cast on the feminizing of America, without including the real root reason for that? It is like Adam once again blaming Eve rather than seeing and admitting that it was ultimately his fault as he was the one directly spoken to by God, not his mate.
She really did what she was compelled to do, and it was Adam’s job to say no, or to go along and then God’s plan of redemption would play out. But the blame lies squarely on Adam, or did, just as it does now with men for the women taking too much control of many societies.
So don’t go blaming women for “taking over, and control” in many places of power. Rather, blame the men for opening those doors with your own ego and inflated sexual needs as the true reasons for our failing nation!
well and wisely said. i’ve had many the same thoughts. your article has the feel of someone who understands His word.
the point is that God himself created and ordained men in his image in His intended role and with His intended purpose to create and lead families. He endowed men with some of His male leadership qualities and intended them to be exercised under His strict direction. a man cannot lead successfully without God’s instruction, without being humbled to His purpose, and without the complementary qualities of his helpmeet, woman.
and make no mistake, humanity cannot succeed in God’s terms without good leadership. it seems to me that for the survival of God’s people, the family must survive and prosper. and for the family to survive, men must lead as God intended, adding his leadership to the obvious essential qualities of women to create the institutions and mechanisms of the civil society necessary for children to thrive.
may God bless you and yours.
About 20 years ago, I was in a restaurant with my 2 young children. At a table next to us was a mother with 3 very young children, she was constantly yelling at them, smacking them, they had “dead eyes”, flat affect in psych terms. I smiled at the oldest one. He tried to smile back.
I still think about that little boy.
Sometimes when children or young people are badly abused, they later develop into highly respectable adults. Because they suffered from evil, have an understanding of its uselessness and turn against it.
"No, compact and single space is fine, thanks".
Bill Cosby has been a leader in trying to get single mothers to stop beating and berating their little boys. Of course, I don’t know if this family was black - it, of course, happens in white families, too.
I’m not a Biblical scholar but I remember reading: ‘Hate the father, destroy the child’
So, would you say that Rush Limbaugh who has for years talked about “Feminazis’ is a misogynist?
I think a lot of conservatives might have a problem with such a broad generalization.
Time to get your ENTER key fixed.
The use of all or nothing statements like those you mentioned, on a constant basis, is a sign of mental illness. Now, we all use statements like this from time to time, but the constant use of them signifies a black or white kind of thought process, with no shades of grey.
Combine a mental illness with no father figure, and you have a recipe for diasaster.
“But the blame lies squarely on Adam, or did, just as it does now with men for the women taking too much control of many societies. So don’t go blaming women for “taking over, and control” in many places of power. Rather, blame the men for opening those doors with your own ego and inflated sexual needs as the true reasons for our failing nation!”
In recent years the trend in many Christian
Churches is for women to become “Pastors or Preachers” despite a clear Biblical injunction against that: (The Apostle Paul: “I suffer not a women to teach or have authority over men”)
Clearly, God has ordained certain roles for men and women. I have met women who are dissatisfied with that and, apparently, it has little to do with “ego and the inflated sexual needs of a man”. It looks like such women are dissatisfied with their God ordained role and envious of men. They are not satisified with being mothers and raising children but seek positions of “power” like being a Minister.
They says things like “God uses women too”. And if you point out Paul’s injunction against women preachers they will say Paul was a victim of this times and culture, and not an inspired Preacher.
I guess what I am saying is that there is more to the equation than what you are pointing out. All women are not alike,just as all men are not alike.
And another factor to consider is that socialists and communists have been “hell bent” for decades to subvert the family.
Spare me the broad brush of your Oprah Channel harangues.
So this all started when Adam said “Stand back Eve; I don’t know how big this thing will get”?
Maybe her husband was in Afghanistan or at work or home with the other kids...why would you assume that just because the father wasn’t there at the moment you were, he never is?
You forgot the ‘barf alert’. First the liberals banned spanking, and now they want to go after ‘chewing out’? No wonder there are so many out of control teenagers these days with this kind of thinking going on.
And she will claim that she was always there for them, she won’t know what on earth could have happened.
Haha! I tried to use paragraphs but when I went to post it converted to a single big one. I will need to adjust in the edited before posting.
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