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Study Finds More Baby Boomers Getting Divorced In Their 50s
CBS) ^ | June 12, 2012 11:59 PM

Posted on 06/13/2012 7:39:16 AM PDT by BenLurkin

LOS ANGELES (CBS) — The divorce rate is soaring among people in their 50s — and it’s most often the wife who wants out.

Since 1990, the divorce rate has doubled to 1 in 4 among couples over 50 years old, who are also referred to as “empty nesters.”

The trend is being called “Grey Divorce” and is outlined in a study published by Bowling Green State University.

Century City Family Divorce Attorney Marlo Von Oorschot wrote a book on the subject.

“People look at their marriages and say I could live’ til I’m 90 years old and do I wanna stay in this marriage?”

*In addition to longevity, women are sometimes more financially independent than before, there’s less social pressure to stay married and more focus on individual happiness.

A national survey conducted by AARP finds the majority of split ups are being initiated by women.

“Women in their 40s, 50s, 6o’s still feel very youthful and, if you’re in a marriage where your needs aren’t being met,…we have choices today,” Von Oorschot said.

That may be why dating websites catering to that generation are growing in popularity.

But Von Oorschot said while divorce is a difficult decision — at any age — it can come with more risks at a later age.

“The plans this couple had for 20, 30 years to retire at a certain age are derailed,” the attorney said.

Older couples undergoing divorce may be forced to have to start working again and losing health benefits.

But some believe that when a person is no longer in sync with their partner it can be much more rewarding to tend to their own needs


TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS: divorce
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They'll be sorry.
1 posted on 06/13/2012 7:39:23 AM PDT by BenLurkin
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To: BenLurkin

Stupid is as stupid does, and “clever” is not “smart”.


2 posted on 06/13/2012 7:43:53 AM PDT by Westbrook (Children do not divide your love, they multiply it.)
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To: BenLurkin

Women’s “needs” are the reason for these divorces?

Feminist and liberal types are often outraged at any discussion of men’s needs in a marriage or relationship. But apparently it’s okay to talk about women’s needs, and that it’s okay for women to jettison the relationship if her needs aren’t being met.

And of course, it’s the man’s fault for not catering to these needs of hers.

Then again, the liberal view is that marriage is an oppressive institution, and that women need to break free and all of that.


3 posted on 06/13/2012 7:45:24 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego
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To: BenLurkin

I wonder how often this coincides with the kids being grown up and out of the house, or someone taking an early retirement.


4 posted on 06/13/2012 7:46:01 AM PDT by Darren McCarty (The Republican Party is bigger than the presidency.)
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To: BenLurkin
“Women in their 40s, 50s, 6o’s still feel very youthful and, if you’re in a marriage where your needs aren’t being met,…we have choices today,” Von Oorschot said.

Which will likely be: 1) having an affair; 2) divorcing and then getting into a new marriage where your needs aren't being met; or 3) divorcing and going it alone. We'll see how well that works out.

5 posted on 06/13/2012 7:49:26 AM PDT by ScottinVA (Buying Drain-O requires photo I.D... yet voting doesn't???)
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To: BenLurkin
“People look at their marriages and say I could live’ til I’m 90 years old and do I wanna stay in this marriage?”

Yeah, that old "till death do you part" vow is SO last century.

6 posted on 06/13/2012 7:52:05 AM PDT by ScottinVA (Buying Drain-O requires photo I.D... yet voting doesn't???)
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To: BenLurkin
.....more focus on individual happiness.

Hasn't this been the whole problem the last few decades? Governments & advertisers have been appealing to "self"-ishness, and it's costing us our society.

7 posted on 06/13/2012 7:52:42 AM PDT by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
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To: BenLurkin

“Baby Boomers” are well into their 70’s.

The hippies of the 1960’s are now in their 50’s.


8 posted on 06/13/2012 7:53:29 AM PDT by SpinnerWebb (In 2012 you will awaken from your HOPEnosis and have no recollection of this... "Constitution")
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To: Iowa Granny

tagging for a later read


9 posted on 06/13/2012 7:53:29 AM PDT by Iowa Granny (Clintion ruined a dress, but Obama ruined a Nation.)
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To: BenLurkin

I’m going through this right now...wife left me after 33 years of marriage. I’m the one “left behind.” Wife and her attorney are still in the process of strip mining my life and finances.

I’ve decided my new retirement plan is to work until I’m dead. ...whole thing sucks...hope she’s happy now.


10 posted on 06/13/2012 7:53:33 AM PDT by Towed_Jumper (There are only two classes of people left in the U.S. - Producers and Parasites.)
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To: BenLurkin

2 word of advice:

Non-traceable assets


11 posted on 06/13/2012 7:54:11 AM PDT by phockthis (http://www.supremelaw.org/fedzone11/index.htm ...)
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To: P.O.E.

I thought this is why there is a preponderence of ED commercials on TV. I particularly like the ED informercial with the very hot “doctor” who has 3-4 people in her discussion group and they are discussing how this brings couples together.


12 posted on 06/13/2012 7:58:08 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (ABO 2012)
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To: ScottinVA
Yeah, that old "till death do you part" vow is SO last century.

Our divorce rate is way too high..many marriages could probably be saved. That being said I would never want to go back to the "good old days" where people felt they had to stay in a bad marriages due to religious or social pressures.

13 posted on 06/13/2012 8:00:56 AM PDT by trailhkr1 (All you need to know about Zimmerman, innocent = riots, manslaughter = riots, guilty = riots)
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To: BenLurkin

Kinda surprised its the women that are opting out. Would think that the men would, especially since many younger women like the financial security than an older man can provide. That and the fact that many younger men aren’t marriage material. Raquel Welch aside, over 40 woman are typically past her prime. Not sure who these cougar wannabees thinks is out there waiting for ‘em.


14 posted on 06/13/2012 8:04:13 AM PDT by rbg81
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To: BenLurkin

.

Get divorced: double your food stamps, rent assistance, heating assistance, medicaid...

A satanic government, and a media to fit.


15 posted on 06/13/2012 8:05:09 AM PDT by mrsmith (Dumb sluts: Lifeblood of the Media, Backbone of the Democrat Party!)
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To: SpinnerWebb

“Baby Boomers” are well into their 70’s. The hippies of the 1960’s are now in their 50’s.

The oldest Boomers turn 66 this year. The youngest, 48. The 60s’ hippies are in their 60s.


16 posted on 06/13/2012 8:05:18 AM PDT by pabianice
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To: BenLurkin

I wonder what % of the divorces can be traced to menopause. I thought PMS was bad until my wife went through the insanity stage of life. Whoa!


17 posted on 06/13/2012 8:05:52 AM PDT by DeFault User
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To: BenLurkin

Too much watching the MAP network. (Men are Pigs aka Lifetime)

I am totally convinced that in today’s society the greatest thing that a couple can do to help create a happy marriage is to turn off the TV set.


18 posted on 06/13/2012 8:06:16 AM PDT by The Working Man
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To: SpinnerWebb
The hippies of the 1960’s are now in their 50’s.

I was born in the 1960's and now I am in my fifties. My generation came after the hippies.

Most of the aging hippies I encounter are 70 plus.

19 posted on 06/13/2012 8:06:39 AM PDT by mplsconservative (Impeach Obama Now!)
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To: SpinnerWebb
“Baby Boomers” are well into their 70’s.

Not really. Do the arithmetic. Baby boom 1945 - 1950, 2012-1945= 67. 2012 - 1950 = 62. This would make them in their 60s NOT their 70s

20 posted on 06/13/2012 8:07:17 AM PDT by from occupied ga (Your government is your most dangerous enemy)
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To: rbg81
Would think that the men would, especially since many younger women like the financial security than an older man can provide.

More women than men are graduating from college..majority or ta least a large percentage of women today are no longer financially dependent on men.

21 posted on 06/13/2012 8:09:16 AM PDT by trailhkr1 (All you need to know about Zimmerman, innocent = riots, manslaughter = riots, guilty = riots)
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To: rbg81

I’m 53, and work at a VA Hospital.

There is not a single week I don’t get asked out, hit on, or worse.

I don’t look my age I know, but geez, I have a huge diamond on my left hand. You would think these guys would look first. Maybe they don’t care.


22 posted on 06/13/2012 8:09:54 AM PDT by mom4melody
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To: BenLurkin

I’ll bet if you dig deply into the numbers you will find guys in their 50’s trading in their 50+ wives for a late 20’s or early 30’s babe and paying a high price for doing it. When men in their 50’s are attracted to a young woman who responds in kind,their brain goes numb. It never ceases to amaze me how ordinary and even extraordinary men can ruin their life and the lives of others over sex.


23 posted on 06/13/2012 8:10:21 AM PDT by Old Retired Army Guy
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To: Towed_Jumper
I’ve decided my new retirement plan is to work until I’m dead. ...whole thing sucks...hope she’s happy now.

Same thing happened to me, but I was only with my wife half as long as you. That was hard enough, but 33 years wow. Best of luck to you man.
24 posted on 06/13/2012 8:12:39 AM PDT by BJ1
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To: SpinnerWebb
The hippies of the 1960’s are now in their 50’s.
Some may be, but the leading edge of boomers are into their 60s ... believe me, I know.
25 posted on 06/13/2012 8:12:45 AM PDT by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: phockthis

“2 word of advice: Non-traceable assets”

I had a friend whose husband thought he had lots of non-traceable assets, but her lawyer found it all pretty easily.


26 posted on 06/13/2012 8:14:35 AM PDT by No Socialist
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To: SpinnerWebb

“Hippies of late 60’s are now in their 50’s”. I think your math may be a little off. Assuming that in 1968 and 1969 the “hippies” were between 18 and 25 that would put them somewhere between mid or late 60’s in 2012. By the way, a lot of them other than the ones dead of Drug OD’s are tenured professors at our colleges and teaching your kids.


27 posted on 06/13/2012 8:15:40 AM PDT by Old Retired Army Guy
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To: mom4melody

Well, that’s interesting. Not sure how common your experience is. Most of the older (single) women I know complain about the lack of interested men. And that includes my sister who looks darn good for 45.


28 posted on 06/13/2012 8:16:21 AM PDT by rbg81
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To: from occupied ga; SpinnerWebb

Boomers are the generation born from 1946 to 1964.

Sarah Palin and Obama are young boomers.


29 posted on 06/13/2012 8:17:15 AM PDT by ansel12 (Massachusetts Governors, where the GOP now goes for it's Presidential candidates.)
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To: BenLurkin

This happened a lot in the 1970s, one of the most heartbreaking results of the mass media fired feminist movement of the time was old women in their 60s leaving their husbands in the 1970s to become “liberated”.


30 posted on 06/13/2012 8:20:48 AM PDT by ansel12 (Massachusetts Governors, where the GOP now goes for it's Presidential candidates.)
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To: BenLurkin

I wonder if part of the problem is that people expect more of marriage than marriage is able to give.

I have a great wife. One of the deals we have, though, is that for at least a week a year, I take a trip by myself. It’s amazing how many people tell us that that’s just wrong and it means there’s something wrong with our marriage.

I hear of these women who say that their husband has to be their best friend, their soul mate, and they should do everything together, etc., etc. Eventually, most people will just wear on each other if they do that. If people would just back off and accept that interests aren’t always going to be the same and that it’s okay to not always be together, a lot of marriages could be saved.

I never heard my grandparents talk about “soul mates” or expect their spouses to have the same interests. But they never divorced.


31 posted on 06/13/2012 8:24:19 AM PDT by Our man in washington
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To: Towed_Jumper

Mine left after 17 years of marriage. The lawyers destroy the man financialy if she was a stay at home mom. Lopsided laws against men.


32 posted on 06/13/2012 8:25:15 AM PDT by Moleman
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To: BJ1; Towed_Jumper

Same thing happened to me after 31 years of marriage. I have two friends that had same experience.

One of them thinks there just has to be a “manual” for women to interrupt/terminate extended marriages. It is always a sad event. It took me three years to re-build the trust with my adult children. You see, I had refused to get into personalities or discuss the divorce with them. Now, we have very healthy relationships.

My prayers are with you both!

Gwjack


33 posted on 06/13/2012 8:28:54 AM PDT by gwjack (May God give America His richest blessings.)
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To: BenLurkin
"...if you’re in a marriage where your needs aren’t being met,…we have choices today,” Von Oorschot said."

What an utterly vacuous, self-absorbed point of view.

34 posted on 06/13/2012 8:29:41 AM PDT by circlecity
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To: mom4melody
I'm the type who looks at the hand for a ring, but I don't think most people care. There's a reason why there's a 50% divorce rate.

I was at a conference about a month ago. Those are always troubles waiting to happen when the drinks are being poured. I've had a few chances with married women, especially those I've known for a while. I didn't take them. I don't break up families. Someone else can be the bad guy there.

35 posted on 06/13/2012 8:30:11 AM PDT by Darren McCarty (The Republican Party is bigger than the presidency.)
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To: Towed_Jumper
Sounds familiar - was married 27 years here but that was almost 20 years ago. Her “needs” were “do everything I say.” As far as I know, no one took her up on the offer to meet her needs. But I must admit I got lucky, now married 14 years to a real woman who takes her vows seriously.
36 posted on 06/13/2012 8:31:57 AM PDT by trubolotta
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To: Towed_Jumper

Damn. I’m sorry to hear that Towed. Hope things work out well for you.

Form an LLC, make lots of money... and tell her to pack sand.


37 posted on 06/13/2012 8:34:36 AM PDT by Toadman (To piss off a conservative, tell a lie. To piss off a liberal, tell the truth.)
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To: BenLurkin

The Summer of Love 2.0. Sponsored by Cialis.


38 posted on 06/13/2012 8:36:42 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: BenLurkin

The majority of these women will end up alone with 14 cats, or the victims of numerous pump-and-dumps by men, depending on thier level of attractiveness. I don’t understand it, they’ve been watching too much Sex and the City and think that they still have a sexual market value.


39 posted on 06/13/2012 8:36:55 AM PDT by Catholic Canadian
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To: BenLurkin

-—But some believe that when a person is no longer in sync with their partner it can be much more rewarding to tend to their own needs——

‘Til sync do us part.

Who do we thank for this great wisdom?


40 posted on 06/13/2012 8:38:26 AM PDT by St_Thomas_Aquinas (Viva Christo Rey!)
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To: Towed_Jumper

She wants a divorce after 33 years??? Sorry to hear that and yes I know couples that divorced after many years and the one that instigates it never seems to be happy after the divorce either. Hang in there.


41 posted on 06/13/2012 8:40:12 AM PDT by Tammy8 (~Secure the border and deport all illegals- do it now! ~ Support our Troops!~)
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To: BenLurkin

My buddies wife is divorcing him. They are both 40. She has spent a fortune on plastic surgery and he spent some money on an offroad car. When everything is to be sold off he has to sell the car and split the money. She gets to keep the surgeries he paid half of.
I believe she is going thru the mid life crisis. They also have t 2 girls about 8 and 10. What a waste.


42 posted on 06/13/2012 8:46:11 AM PDT by US_MilitaryRules (Unnngh! To many PDS people!)
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To: US_MilitaryRules
They also have t 2 girls about 8 and 10. What a waste.

Damn that sucks. That's probably the worst age for it to happen for the kids.

43 posted on 06/13/2012 8:53:48 AM PDT by Darren McCarty (The Republican Party is bigger than the presidency.)
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To: Our man in washington
I have a great wife. One of the deals we have, though, is that for at least a week a year, I take a trip by myself. It’s amazing how many people tell us that that’s just wrong and it means there’s something wrong with our marriage.

I will have to say, my wife and I do the same. I take a guys' trip--to Vegas, or golf; she takes a girls' trip. Usually hers is to a beach.

Not saying we are the perfect marriage by any means, nor am I saying those trips are responsible for the success we do have. but we recognize each other's space.

You bring up an interesting phenomena. It seems that modern marriages are all about the "best friends" concept between husband and wife. I'm not sure we took that approach--we have a marriage together, not a friendship.

44 posted on 06/13/2012 8:55:57 AM PDT by Lou L (The Senate without a filibuster is just a 100-member version of the House.)
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To: Our man in washington

I have only been married 23 years, but my wife understands completely that I need time just to do things on my own...guy things...or just time alone. I do the same for her. I think this is critically important.

I go to sporting events alone, travel alone, etc. I did go to a party the other night, and a woman there asked me where my wife was. I said she was just giving me space, and in any case, I thought it was just a guys bonfire and beer thing. Even if I had known there were couples and asked her, she might have politely declined.

She gives that space to me, and there isn’t anything wrong with us.

She is comfortable with herself, and I with myself. But I see that is not the way it is with everyone.


45 posted on 06/13/2012 8:57:07 AM PDT by rlmorel ("The safest road to Hell is the gradual one." Screwtape (C.S. Lewis))
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To: trailhkr1
One reason many marriages are not saved is no-fault divorce. I tried to compromise with my ex, but she insisted on complete control of everything or else. She felt she didn't have to compromise. She filed and there was nothing I could do. In some ways I'm grateful because it ended a nightmare for me, but if divorce were not so easy, I think things may have worked out differently.
46 posted on 06/13/2012 9:00:11 AM PDT by trubolotta
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To: mom4melody
I’m 53, and work at a VA Hospital.

My wife is 54 and is a nurse at a VA Hospital. We where just talking about this the other day - the foreign born doctors live by an entirely different code when dealing with women.

At a private hospital they'd be fired for sexual harassment.

47 posted on 06/13/2012 9:02:15 AM PDT by Last Dakotan
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To: ansel12

OK 46 to 64 2012-1946 = 66 and 2012 - 1964 = 48. Still not in their 70s which was my point to start with.


48 posted on 06/13/2012 9:04:26 AM PDT by from occupied ga (Your government is your most dangerous enemy)
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To: BenLurkin

I know 2 couples that my wife and I have been friends with for years where the women suffered in bad marriages while raising the kids.

Now that the kids are gone, the women are opting out of what my wife and I consider to be abusive and dysfunctional marriages.

I hate to see it because it puts us in a awkward position and I hate to see this happen, but I cannot blame them for bailing.


49 posted on 06/13/2012 9:06:31 AM PDT by Mr. Quarterpanel (I am not an actor, but I play one on TV)
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To: rbg81

What a strange, grossly incorrect, shallow post.


50 posted on 06/13/2012 9:11:18 AM PDT by coop71 (Being a redhead means never having to say you're sorry...)
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