--H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920
Posted on 06/16/2012 9:30:47 PM PDT by nickcarraway
A former employee of a High Springs gas station returned Monday night, poured gasoline on himself and his car, and tried to set both on fire, authorities said.
No one would give the man a lighter, however, and he was unable to ignite the spilled fuel.
A High Springs Police Department report gave the following account: Kalpeshkumar Patel, 40, of High Springs, pulled into the High Springs Chevron gas station and convenience store at 7820 SW 50th Road around 9:20 p.m.
Using a gas pump, he then poured gasoline on himself and the car and tried unsuccessfully to get a lighter from customers.
The owner of the store told police Patel had left him several threatening phone messages, including the threat that he would burn his car in order to destroy the store.
Patel was arrested on charges of aggravated assault and attempted arson of a structure. He was being held without bond at the Alachua County jail.
EPIC FAIL.
Liberal-level slick.
/johnny
I’d give him a B- for effort, but an F for planning as well as execution.
"Honey, I'm going to get gas, soak everything with gasoline and set it on fire".
What is the wife supposed to say? "Take a lighter!"
/johnny
Perhaps he had matches but they got wet.
He forgot about the cigarette lighter that most cars have.
sounds as bright as my X
Thank God no one helped him destroy.
If he can afford to waste all that gas at these prices, he can buy his own damned lighter.
--H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920
Dont you hate when that happens......
It must be rough, coming to America just before it becomes a third world country. Have fun. Enjoy the slide.
Darwin award wannabe.
“Aaaaagh! Why won’t anyone give me a lighter?”
“’Cause you’re freakin’ crazy, man.”
Yeah no kidding. Poor dude can't even get himself a Darwin on purpose because he forgets his lighter.
Now that's a loser.
What a maroon.
shucks I would have went into the store and bought him a lighter. that would have been a hoot.
Blessings, Bobo
Betcha he’s got an allover skin rash now! As a former pump jockey I know if you spill gasoline on yourself, wash it off el muy quicko before the itching starts.
Junior Darwin nomination IMO. No fatalties here.
Yeah, sure buddy, I’ll give you a lighter.
I just gotta make a quick phone call first.
I’d have given him a couple of sticks and told him to rub them together.
You are living in the past as most newer vehicles no longer have lighters. It is now a requested option not a standard feature as in days of yore. The last time I bought a vehicle it was called a smokers package and included the lighter and ashtrays.
Good thing he was too stupid to realize that starting the car engine would have gotten the results he wanted.
Since so many people have stop[ed smoking, finding a lighter or match is a lot harder than a few years ago.
When it first comes out of the pump it smells fairly good. As it dries, though, it just stinks like hell. Once I had a gas can spring a leak in the back of my vehicle. Fortunately there was no fire or other disaster, but I had to spend several days airing the stink out with the hatch back open in the garage and a fan constantly blowing into the back of the vehicle.
When attending a self immolation always bring a bic.
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