Posted on 06/30/2012 8:59:32 AM PDT by dagogo redux
In this sequel to Armageddon, an all new cast takes on another threat to mankind, specifically to the American people.
Set in current times, an asteroid again threatens to hit Earth. But, unlike the original movie, this time the heavenly destroyer is much smaller, and it's headed for Washington, D.C. Scientists determine that it will not break up, but will hit intact right in the space between the White House, the Capitol, and the Supreme Court, and a mere stone’s throw from The Federal Reserve and other key centers of power. It is estimated that the impact will obliterate everything out to several miles beyond the Beltway.
The time of impact has been determined to be in two weeks. The Federal government again turns to Billy Bob Thornton to assemble a crack team of experienced experts to meet the challenge. Besides expertise, his main selection criteria for possible team members is their deep sense of patriotism, born of a lifetime of dedicated service, tempered by profound wisdom. As an added plot twist, the government also decrees that, for the sake of political correctness, one citizen from each of the world’s major religions will be included - Muslims, however refuse to cooperate.
John Voigt, formerly the country’s premier designer of nuclear weapons, is coaxed out of his retirement to lead the team, a retirement he has spent cloistered at a Catholic monastery. He is soon joined by his old friends Chuck Norris, now a devout Protestant preacher, and Harrison Ford, a master in the design of nuclear weapon trigger devices who left the profession to become a rabbi. Next, from his meditation cave at the foot of Mount Kailas in Tibet, retired NASA test pilot, and now an omniscient Tulku, Steven Seagal, incarnates mysteriously at the training center. Finally, Julia Roberts, as the team’s obligatory science babe, flies in from the Neem Karoli Baba Ashram in Taos, New Mexico to round out the team.
They undergo the customary mocking and hazing as they are trained quickly by NASA for the space flight, which will plant a small nuclear device on the asteroid. They occasionally share their faiths with each other during their off-time, but mostly they are deep in prayer and contemplation. Briefly, however, to provide some romance and comic relief, sparks do fly sequentially between Julia Roberts and all the others, re-igniting old passions; but she is now celibate. And not as attractive. And the guys all have ED.
Drama builds towards the lift off, during which they are given a send-off at Cape Canaveral by government elites, who are already evacuating D.C. As the crew looks back at planet Earth and the North American continent from the vastness of space, the sacredness of the mission grows in their minds. Much of the time they are deep in prayer, often focusing their prayers on the holy objects each has brought: for John Voigt, a small vial of holy water blessed by the Pope to sprinkle on the asteroid; for Chuck Norris, a communion wafer and a small vial of wine to place there; Julia Roberts carries sacred ash, Bhasma, blessed by her Guru after a fire ceremony devoted to Shiva, the god of destruction; Harrison Ford brings a microchip containing the Torah; and Steven Seagal, out of deep compassion for the future suffering of the American people, carries a small square of cloth cut from the robe of the Dalai Lama.
They connect with the asteroid. It has no gravity, so they tether themselves with anchors, suit up, and go outside. We watch as they anchor the bomb to the ground and prayerfully secure their blessed objects to the asteroid. In the next scene, they are heading back home with two days to spare.
With the announcement of the success of their mission, those who evacuated D.C. return, and proceed again with the running of the government. They have also planned a huge event to celebrate their salvation, and to show their courage as leaders: when the asteroid reaches just the optimal distance the next night, mere minutes from earth, the President, flanked by all the Federal dignitaries, will detonate the bomb with great fanfare, turning the huge rock into harmless dust, and creating for the fortunate rulers a celestial display of once-in-a-lifetime majesty. This event will be broadcast world-wide.
As the movie ends, the team is again deep in prayer during the return trip, focused on the sanctity of the mission they have just undertaken for the sake of the nation, and focused on the blessed objects they left behind out of patriotism and love of their countrymen. In a final flashback, they are again seen securing those objects to the asteroid, and then, as the scene unfolds further, they all turn to Harrison Ford who, with calm determination, undetectably disables the bomb’s trigger mechanism. They nod their solemn approval, offer final prayers, and return to the ship.
The credits roll, and the crowd goes wild.
In an added twist, an army of patriotic Americans, led by Bruce Willis, surrounds Washington and refuses to allow anyone out.
I was going to say, close the airports, block the roads...sell tickets on pay-per-view..
sniff... pass the tissues. Happy endings just break me up.
“Next, from his meditation cave at the foot of Mount Kailas in Tibet, retired NASA test pilot, and now an omniscient Tulku, Steven Seagal”
OMG!!!!
Great movie!
Asteroid destroys DC. We should be so lucky.
Well... I’m nearly speechless... I’d even go to a theater to watch this one. And buy the DVD, and gift it to my friends too.
Can we start filming immediately?
“Well... I’m nearly speechless... I’d even go to a theater to watch this one. And buy the DVD, and gift it to my friends too.
Can we start filming immediately?”
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Probably not the others, but Voigt and Norris may even help us with project. Glad you like the idea. :)
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