Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

When to Put Down a Neurotic Cat?
Self ^ | 6/30/12 | Self

Posted on 06/30/2012 8:05:22 PM PDT by Marie

Ten years ago my family adopted a stray, adult male cat from our local shelter. He took to me immediately, but would barely tolerate my kids. He flat-out hated my husband on sight and that never changed. He did form an uneasy truce with our dog. They basically agree to ignore each other.

He's at least 12 now and the years have not been good for him.

He's always been terribly nervous. He over-grooms to the point of self mutilation and there are months where his belly is completely bald. He spends his time under the bed. He moves through the house with his tail low, darting from safe-haven to safe-haven. He's the only animal I've ever had that refuses treats. He only eats dry kibble. And, in the summer he'll refuse to eat even that and go down to skin and bones.

He's flea free and well taken care of. The vet has never found anything physically wrong with him. Nothing has worked to make him happy except one thing.

Being alone with me. When the house is quiet and empty, he's a different animal. He's affectionate and playful. Relaxed. He's been a true comfort to me when my husband has been deployed. He and I have our daily rituals. We are true friends. I think that, had the two of us been tucked into a cabin the woods for all these years, he'd have been fine.

But now we're moving and we can't take him with us. My daughter had planned to take him for me, but now things have changed.

The disruption in the house has driven him mad. He's defecating all over the house for the first time. He's scratched his own throat terribly and I've just discovered that the wound is infected.

In the evening, for just an hour or so, he crawls into my lap for comfort. He relaxes and purrs and behaves like a happy, normal cat.

And then he's off again. Running and hiding from imaginary bad guys. Ripping out his hair and scratching himself bloody.

I've never had a problem putting down a sick animal. I know that there comes a point to let them go.

But he's not dying! He's just miserable and crazy. I know that, if he goes with my daughter's new family, he's going to be insane and drive her insane with the random pooping.

I don't think that it's fair to ask her to put up with this. She is buying her first house. And I don't think that it's fair to keep him in this miserable state.

But then we have that hour or so where he's a normal, happy cat and I don't think I can go through with Monday's euthanasia.

When is it time to let a crazy cat go?


TOPICS: Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: cats; kittyping; petlovers
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-100101-117 next last
For the last ten years, this little guy has kept me from ever being truly alone. I've never put down an animal that wasn't on it's last breath before.

But I can't allow him to destroy my daughter's property and disrupt her life. (she's only taking him to be nice to me) And I can't take a crapping cat into a rental.

But I'm having a very hard time coming to terms with this.

1 posted on 06/30/2012 8:05:27 PM PDT by Marie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Marie

Pray for your cat. God takes care of animals just like he does people. We prayed for peace over our friend’s neurotic cat and he is now very calm.


2 posted on 06/30/2012 8:09:25 PM PDT by stars & stripes forever (Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

Pray for your cat. God takes care of animals just like he does people. We prayed for peace over our friend’s neurotic cat and he is now very calm.


3 posted on 06/30/2012 8:10:09 PM PDT by stars & stripes forever (Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie
Very sad story. I feel for you.

One thing to think about is that if your daughter takes the cat, and the cat is unmanageable, then perhaps your daughter will be the one who is forced to put the cat down. That may result is a strained relationship with a good deal of resentment. It might be a kindness for all if you took on the inevitable task. But only your heart can guide you.

4 posted on 06/30/2012 8:10:14 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

Put him in a foster home or ask your vet to take him for awhile. He just wants to be loved. You also shouldn’t make your daughter’s decisions for her. She should make her own, and if she wants to take him on, she should.

If she’s old enough to take on a house, she can take on a housecat.


5 posted on 06/30/2012 8:10:59 PM PDT by combat_boots (The Lion of Judah cometh. Hallelujah. Gloria Patri, Filio et Spiritui Sancto.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

Isn’t “Neurotic Cat” a pleonasm?


6 posted on 06/30/2012 8:12:02 PM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (The Democratic Party strongly supports full civil rights for necro-Americans!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie; Slings and Arrows; Glenn; republicangel; Beaker; BADROTOFINGER; etabeta; asgardshill; ...
Have you talked to your vet about anti-anxiety medication?


7 posted on 06/30/2012 8:12:39 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ClearCase_guy

Well put.


8 posted on 06/30/2012 8:15:42 PM PDT by Jet Jaguar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Marie

I’m so sorry for you and your cat.

It sounds like it may be time to let go.

12 years is a good run for an adopted stray.


9 posted on 06/30/2012 8:17:21 PM PDT by miserare
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

Marie, I sent you a PM via Freepmail.


10 posted on 06/30/2012 8:17:58 PM PDT by ShakeNJake (I see dumb people.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

At the end of the day does your daughter believe you care more about that cat than you value her? Can you live with that belief in your daughters heart?


11 posted on 06/30/2012 8:18:29 PM PDT by Walkingfeather
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie
Try Prozac for cats.

Seriously.

It works for my obsessive compulsive gato.

12 posted on 06/30/2012 8:18:44 PM PDT by Jet Jaguar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

There should be medication that improves this condition. I would call the vet’s office and inquire about that.


13 posted on 06/30/2012 8:18:44 PM PDT by Brad from Tennessee (A politician can't give you anything he hasn't first stolen from you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

I like “Slings” idea of possibly getting some sort of meds from the vet. Cats can get mental issues, they are fairly intelligent little guys, no surprise. A very small dose of what humans use for anxiety and such problems may work wonders for him.


14 posted on 06/30/2012 8:20:14 PM PDT by doorgunner69
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

I replied to you privately via email. There are numerous links which you might find helpful. There could be a medical reason underlying these problems, could be a diet deficiency or something else in the house (radical change in environment, etc....) Please don’t give up on him!


15 posted on 06/30/2012 8:20:26 PM PDT by JLLH
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

If you really can’t take him with you, and being placed anywhere else is going to make him miserable, then I think euthanizing him would be a kind act.

just my opinion


16 posted on 06/30/2012 8:21:28 PM PDT by nuconvert ( Khomeini promised change too // Hail, Chairman O)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Walkingfeather

That seems a little harsh.

The poster already said she was going to have the kitty put down rather than leave it with her daughter.

Why rub salt in an open wound, FRiend?


17 posted on 06/30/2012 8:22:17 PM PDT by berdie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Marie

I send sympathy and understanding that you are in a very tough decision spot.


18 posted on 06/30/2012 8:23:08 PM PDT by MEG33 (O Lord, Guide Our Nation)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

Has the vet suggested any medication for your cat’s anxiety?
If not you should bring up the subject with him. If medication does not help I think humane euthanasia may be a reasonable option for the cat.


19 posted on 06/30/2012 8:24:20 PM PDT by lastchance ("Nisi credideritis, non intelligetis" St. Augustine)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

If I had a cat using the house as a bathroom it would be gone. I simply don’t see how people can live like that. Disgusting.


20 posted on 06/30/2012 8:25:24 PM PDT by gunsequalfreedom (Conservative is not a label of convenience. It is a guide to your actions.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

Looks like the cat had been a real comfort to you over the years and is now suffering from anxiety.

Just as people take some anti-anxiety medication, ask your vet to see if there is something like that for your cat. I think they have things like that.

The poor cat senses that you are going to leave him behind and since you and he have that special bond, he is devastated.

Maybe he would calm down with some minimum meds and if you did take him with you.

He probably won’t live a real long time, but I think you will always feel guilty, if you put him down, considering that he was there for your for years and kept you from feeling lonely.

God bless you and give you wisdom and compassion to deal with this.


21 posted on 06/30/2012 8:26:49 PM PDT by Innovative (None are so blind that will not see.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie
Prayers up.

It is hard.

I'm generally ok with neruotic catz. I have 2.

But they are catz. At some point, like house fires, you open the doors and they are on their own.

Your guy sounds like my Sky, except he has mellowed over the years.

Still freaks out if I stand up around him, but my right arm won't be cat free in bed until after he passes on.

Again. Prayers up. I don't know what I will do when Sky is gone.

/johnny

22 posted on 06/30/2012 8:27:42 PM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie
"But I'm having a very hard time coming to terms with this."

You know what needs to be done. I had to do the same to my cat earlier this year. I loved that silly cat. He was 13 and had developed a condition that was certain death. I would have waited but he was having trouble getting to the box. And man was he fragrant.

You might try a no kill pound if you can find one that will take him, but it doesn't sound like he'd enjoy his time there much.

23 posted on 06/30/2012 8:28:07 PM PDT by moehoward
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

I’m with those advocating at least trying drugs for the cat. Just make sure your daughter is capable of delivering a pill to a cat. It takes practice....and courage, but it can be done routinely. I gave my cat 6 pills a day when he had a broken leg.

You clearly are not ready to put him down yet. Give it one more try.


24 posted on 06/30/2012 8:28:21 PM PDT by HerrBlucher ( Romney blows with the political winds, Obama just blows.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

Les hommes ont oublié cette vérité, dit le renard. Mais tu ne dois pas l’oublier. Tu deviens responsable pour toujours de ce que tu as apprivoisé.

“Men have forgotten this truth,” said the fox. “But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”
Chapter XXI
The Little Prince


25 posted on 06/30/2012 8:28:30 PM PDT by ladyjane
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: JRandomFreeper

Had the same - cat finally mellowed out when he got rather old. Wonderful mouser. You just had to learn that he was his own cat and to leave him be.


26 posted on 06/30/2012 8:31:09 PM PDT by JCBreckenridge (Texas, Texas, Whisky)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: berdie

Should be in a quiet one-woman and no other animal home. Might have hearing sensitivity to male and child voices.

Kept in confined area - tiled bathroom for a few days - before being allowed to visit rest of new home.

Meds a must. kind of late to get all this arranged.


27 posted on 06/30/2012 8:31:35 PM PDT by Surrounded_too
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: ladyjane

I am in complete agreement (and love that book!)


28 posted on 06/30/2012 8:32:08 PM PDT by JLLH
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Marie
Pray to God for an answer. I would find a way to move the cat with you come hell or high water.

Keep in mind that he's been there for you for ten years as you've been there for him. I had a Persian like that. He only liked me, couldn't stand my wife and she would hide in a closet (the cat not my wife) during the day but at night, she'd climb up and sleep on my chest purring contentedly; I really miss that kitteh.

I'm not trying to guilt you into keeping the little guy but you've been together so long. I've had to put down many animals that the vets just couldn't save and it was torture each time.

Putting this little kitteh down because it's not convenient is wrong and it's bad karma. Either find a way to keep him, let your daughter take him or find a shelter that takes in kittehs for life if they don't find homes. Keep in mind that with the way you describe his personality, he might never get adopted but if you choose the right shelter, they keep him as long as he lives and feed him, give him affection and give him a life.

Please consider finding a way to take him with you, there's a bond of trust between you two and I guarantee you will feel miserable and guilty and you can't take it back.

If your daughter volunteers to take him, she knows what she's getting into and after a while, the kitteh will get used to the new routine.

Good luck, I think God gives us cats and dogs so we can see what unconditional love is all about. How many times have you been down and then the kitteh gives you a head bonk or the dog greets you enthusiastically when you come home? Just as God has unconditional love for us, so do cats and dogs and I don't think that's an accident. I've never met a human who was capable of unconditional love but I've seen it in every cat or dog I've had the pleasure of having.

29 posted on 06/30/2012 8:40:29 PM PDT by Lx (Do you like it, do you like it. Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tennerman chili.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

“But he’s not dying! He’s just miserable and crazy.”

I hear ya. Have one like that. Mine is 15. About 6 mos. ago, when I got sick and had to move to get medical care, I left him with an X relative who moved in an obese girlfriend and didn’t feed the cat. He got free rent for it. Guess she ate the cat food too! This has NEVER been a nice cat...likes to spray EVERYTHING and spends all day crying at the door to get in and is always underfoot and hungry. Then throws up most of his food...always has. When I came back to rescue him, he was bones and sores. He wanted to sleep in the litter box!

I struggled just like you are about putting him down. THEN he got better. Now he’s fat, healthy, has a little more sense. I think he’s going to outlive me! He’s very social,unlike your kitty. It’s amazing the lengths we go to because of these critters. I bought another place, but I have to live in the old one because I can’t have this stupid cat in the new one!!! DUMB.

Have you tried drugging him so he just doesn’t care? Sounds like it’s time.


30 posted on 06/30/2012 8:40:30 PM PDT by AuntB (Illegal immigration is simply more "share the wealth" socialism and a CRIME not a race!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

If your daughter is single, maybe there is a good relationship there or maybe medicine. My last cat lived to be 19.


31 posted on 06/30/2012 8:41:28 PM PDT by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote; then find me a real conservative to vote for)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

As my vet would be the first to tell you, sometimes the kindest thing you can do is put them to sleep! They are no longer miserable and unhappy! It’s hard to do but sometimes it really is the best thing for you and the animal. God will give you strength for tomorrow!


32 posted on 06/30/2012 8:43:46 PM PDT by KalaSamy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

Just noticed you already have the euthanesia planned for Monday:

“But then we have that hour or so where he’s a normal, happy cat and I don’t think I can go through with Monday’s euthanasia.”

Please do not go through with it, not just for the cat’s sake, but for yours. I think you would always regret it.

Try some anti-anxiety meds, as others and I suggested. Also, you say you are moving into an apartment, try to take the cat with you, they may allow it, knowing that it may only be for a few months — he may only have a few months or a year to live, let him be happy living with you and you will always be content that you made the difficult, but right decision.


33 posted on 06/30/2012 8:46:11 PM PDT by Innovative (None are so blind that will not see.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

Oh, I’m so sorry for you and your kitty. I don’t know what I’d do.

You mentioned you can’t take him with you when you move - is it because he’s going outside of the litter box? Have you changed the type of litter or moved his box from his usual place?

As for the over-grooming, my cat started licking her belly down to the skin right before she was diagnosed with diabetes, so maybe there’s a problem he needs help with. Here’s some info on some of the causes of over-grooming:
http://cats.about.com/od/behaviortraining/a/catover-grooming.htm


34 posted on 06/30/2012 8:47:39 PM PDT by Heart of Georgia
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

I feel for you, being a fervent cat lover myself (dogs too, for that matter.) And I know you aren’t ready to hear this, but your cat IS sick, if this is the pathological life it’s leading. Illness doesn’t necessarily mean physical.

You sound compassionate enough to do the right thing, whatever you decide that is.


35 posted on 06/30/2012 8:48:10 PM PDT by fwdude ( You cannot compromise with that which you must defeat.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

There are many worse things in the world than letting go of an animal who’s suffering. Sounds like you’ve given him a good home and lots of love...maybe it’s time to let him be free of agony.

Honestly, I’d rather see an animal put down humanely than suffer, under any circumstances.

Thanks for being such a great cat mom. So many others wouldn’t have given this guy a chance.


36 posted on 06/30/2012 8:49:40 PM PDT by LittleSpotBlog
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Innovative

We had a neurotic cat when I was in high school. The cat was down right destructive. My mother finally decided to take the cat to the SPCA and when she got about a mile from the house, the cat jumped out the window of the moving car. My mother thought, good, that’s over with and turned around and came home. Two weeks later the neurotic cat showed up back at the door, wanting to come in.


37 posted on 06/30/2012 8:49:54 PM PDT by Eva
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: Innovative

We had a neurotic cat when I was in high school. The cat was down right destructive. My mother finally decided to take the cat to the SPCA and when she got about a mile from the house, the cat jumped out the window of the moving car. My mother thought, good, that’s over with and turned around and came home. Two weeks later the neurotic cat showed up back at the door, wanting to come in.


38 posted on 06/30/2012 8:50:13 PM PDT by Eva
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: Marie

Maybe you should try a different vet. Perhaps the cat’s behavior is generated by some sort of physical ailment or parasite infection.


39 posted on 06/30/2012 8:50:53 PM PDT by Fiji Hill (Deo Vindice!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: berdie

wasnt trying to be rude.


40 posted on 06/30/2012 8:54:34 PM PDT by Walkingfeather
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Marie

The licking and baldness should be easily (and economically) treatable, ask your Vet! Our cat is happy again and with nice fur regrown too.
(You will lose your cat someday but maybe... just maybe.. it is too early, see your Vet)
Best wishes


41 posted on 06/30/2012 8:56:09 PM PDT by faithhopecharity
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Eva

Did you let the cat back in?


42 posted on 06/30/2012 9:05:31 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Government is the religion of the sociopath.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: Lonesome in Massachussets
Isn’t “Neurotic Cat” a pleonasm?

pleonasm
Had to look that one up
word of the day

43 posted on 06/30/2012 9:07:24 PM PDT by HangnJudge
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: E. Pluribus Unum

Yes, but it got kicked out again, so many times that it finally stopped coming home. I mean my sister used to literally kick the thing out the door.


44 posted on 06/30/2012 9:11:50 PM PDT by Eva
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: Marie

Oh Marie! That is such a hard one. I ended up with our neighbors cat after she had put out $1000 dollars on him because he had got hit by a car. He lived and finally got over being quite so strange as his brain had swollen. The thing is that family brought in more cats and he just couldn’t stand it so he adopted us. After 10 yrs we sold our house and was having one built. We would be living with our youngest daughter and she has a big dog who would have gone after the cats. So we decided our oldest daughter could take him and the other cat we had as she loves cats. The thing is she let them out to go potty and “Rico” that was his name took off and was never to be found. A couple of weeks later I saw a dead cat on the Freeway and I am almost sure it was him. I think he was trying to get back to our other house. I wish I had just left him there as I think his original owner would have seen to it that he was fed.

All I can say is I have had 3 of our dogs put down and one died at my feet and one died in my arms. I can say with the ones I had put down even though they were very old I always had that feeling I should have let them live until they went on there own.

I will pray that the Lord gives you comfort in whatever decision you make.

P.S. Why would you not be able to take the cat with you?


45 posted on 06/30/2012 9:17:03 PM PDT by Spunky
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Eva

How sad. Poor cat. I hope he/she finally found a loving home.


46 posted on 06/30/2012 9:17:39 PM PDT by JLLH
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: Marie
Being alone with me. When the house is quiet and empty, he's a different animal. He's affectionate and playful.

Sounds like someone else in your house is secretly tormenting him.

47 posted on 06/30/2012 9:19:50 PM PDT by fso301
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Marie

We had a cat that occupied our garage for several years. He was a neighborhood stray that sneaked in one day when one of us left the door open, and while I tried to chase him out with a water pistol, that just made him cantankerous. He never let any of us get close enough to touch him, so we just put up with the snarls and hissing, provided dry food and water and a litter box and let him be.

He never wanted in the house and seldom ventured outside, and NEVER let any of us get close enough to touch him. I thought about trapping him for a trip to the vet for shots, but decided that it would be traumatic for both of us.

He lived about 5 years, and then one day the food and water were untouched and the litter box clean for several days. My search finally located him - deceased - in a cardboard box behind a workbench.

What kind of a life was that? It was what he chose and maintained, so I suppose it was the best we could do for him.

We have had cats for many years, and really enjoy observing the way they interact with each other and with us. the aphorism, “Dogs have families - Cats have staff.” is certainly more than just words.

Today we have two cats - Snowball, a white long-haired male, is 18 and far from the oldest we have had. And several years later Precious, a neighborhood female adopted and named by a family down the street and then abandoned when they moved away. Both would share the garage with the invader, but Snowball will not allow Precious to enter the hallway or bedroom areas of our house. He hangs out in the hallway, clearly to keep her out.


48 posted on 06/30/2012 9:21:31 PM PDT by MainFrame65 (The US Senate: World's greatest PREVARICATIVE body!.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ladyjane

That’s a keeper.


49 posted on 06/30/2012 9:27:08 PM PDT by free me (Roberts killed America)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Marie

I am sorry for you, and your cat.

You are correct that it wouldn’t be right to drop this particular problem on your daughter, since you already know the cat hates her.
If you can afford to get a vets opinion and medical help, I think you should try that first.
If you don’t have the funds for that, I think you should contact animal rescue shelters and ask for their advise.

One of my cats (the stable one) suddenly dropped dead the night before we moved the final furniture, and ourselves, to a better place. No signs of distress beforehand.

I hope you can find another place for him that offers a real chance at survival.
It sounds like he deserves a bit of extra effort on your part, after all those years...


50 posted on 06/30/2012 9:30:26 PM PDT by sarasmom ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xZsFe6dM3EY)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-100101-117 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson