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(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

Posted on 07/13/2012 5:55:33 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Fool's Paradise Day

When : July 13th

This special day seems a bit like an oxymoron. How can a fool reach, or experience, Paradise? And, how could a place BE Paradise, if fools inhabit the place? We don't know the answers to these important questions. We can only speculate, as we have yet to find the creator of this special day. We will leave the philosophical thought about this day to you the reader.

In the meantime..................

Have a wonderful Fool's Paradise Day!


Or you can celebrate..................

Embrace Your Geekness Day

When : July 13th

 Embrace Your Geekness Day is a great day to be a Geek. Or, to know a Geek.

A geek is an individual who is highly intelligent (brainy) and technically oriented. They are most often associated with the computer, and computer systems world. A geek is usually formal, studious and into his technical world, often to the exclusion of all else. A geek is closely related to a "Nerd". A nerd however, may or may not possess technical expertise.

Some people view the term "Geek" with a negative connotation. Are they jealous of your knowledge and skills, perhaps? We certainly think so.

Enjoy Embrace Your Geekness Day to the fullest. Spend plenty of time with your computer. Talk computer lingo and jargon. If you are a geek, stand tall and proud. Isn't it great to be so brilliant and gifted!?



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: foolsparadise; friday; geekness; ofst
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1 posted on 07/13/2012 5:55:49 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

IBTP!!!!


2 posted on 07/13/2012 5:56:43 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Lucky9teen

Woohoo!!! It’s Finally Friday!!!!


3 posted on 07/13/2012 5:56:47 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

In !!!


4 posted on 07/13/2012 6:00:17 AM PDT by 21stCenturion ("It's the Judges, Stupid !")
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To: Lucky9teen
A puppet, a black guy, an illegal alien, a Muslim and a Communist walk into a bar.

Bartender asks ....

"What'll it be, Mr. President?"

5 posted on 07/13/2012 6:00:34 AM PDT by BerryDingle (I know how to deal with communists, I still wear their scars on my back from Hollywood-Ronald Reagan)
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To: Lucky9teen

WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO Happy Friday the 13th!


6 posted on 07/13/2012 6:00:50 AM PDT by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top Ten!!


7 posted on 07/13/2012 6:02:59 AM PDT by tnlibertarian (Government's solution to everything: Less freedom.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Update:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

8 posted on 07/13/2012 6:08:06 AM PDT by cartan
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

Someone who voted for Obama in 2008


and realizing what he's done since...


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST




9 posted on 07/13/2012 6:08:49 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

...why the tears?.....unless he put his foot through his XBOX 360


10 posted on 07/13/2012 6:13:17 AM PDT by Doogle ((USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
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To: Lucky9teen

What do you put on a pig with a sunburn?

Oinkment


11 posted on 07/13/2012 6:13:52 AM PDT by Drawsing (The fool shows his annoyance at once. The prudent man overlooks an insult. (Proverbs 12:16))
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To: BerryDingle

GeorgeBush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check. Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply…….
The devil smiles and replies, “ Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”


12 posted on 07/13/2012 6:16:50 AM PDT by sunny48
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To: Lucky9teen
TOP TWENTY! Have a good weekend all!
13 posted on 07/13/2012 6:17:03 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Lucky9teen

14 posted on 07/13/2012 6:22:02 AM PDT by workerbee (June 28, 2012 -- 9/11 From Within)
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To: Lucky9teen

15 posted on 07/13/2012 6:22:28 AM PDT by sunny48
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To: JRios1968

TOP TEN!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


16 posted on 07/13/2012 6:27:06 AM PDT by NCC-1701 (In Memphis on January 20, 2009, pump price were $1.49. We all know what happened after that.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Frank Zappa on the Steve Allen Show, 1963
17 posted on 07/13/2012 6:27:09 AM PDT by real saxophonist (Proud to have been beat up and shot by the late Paul Gomez. RIP, 'Gnomez'.)
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To: NCC-1701

OOOps. MIssed it by a few posts. Oh well, it’s Friday the 13th. I’ll chalk it up to bad luck.


18 posted on 07/13/2012 6:28:39 AM PDT by NCC-1701 (In Memphis on January 20, 2009, pump price were $1.49. We all know what happened after that.)
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To: Lucky9teen

19 posted on 07/13/2012 6:29:43 AM PDT by workerbee (June 28, 2012 -- 9/11 From Within)
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To: Lucky9teen

A very good amateur golfer lost his arm in an industrial accident. Following rehab, he tried to learn to play golf again with just one arm but never could quite get the hang of it. He became so depressed he decided to commit suicide.

As he was standing on the roof of a tall building getting ready to jump he looked down and saw guy this skipping around as happy as can be. As he took even a closer look, he noticed the guy skipping had no arms. Now - he was ashamed of himself. Here he was - with one arm - feeling sorry for himself - ready to end it all — and there’s a guy on the ground with no arms - as happy as could be.

So - instead of jumping he decided to go down and thank the guy for saving his life. When he got down off the roof and caught up with him, he said - I want to thank you for saving my life. Here I am - one arm and ready to commit suicide - and yet I see you with NO arms, happy as can be. I’m ashamed of myself.

The guy with no arms says — Well I’m happy I saved your life but I’m not happy otherwise -— my ASS itches.


20 posted on 07/13/2012 6:33:01 AM PDT by hillarynot (I play in Peoria)
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To: Lucky9teen; Kathy in Alaska; SevenofNine; StarCMC; MeekMom; MEG33; HiJinx; acad1228; ...
A friend told the blond: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."

The blond then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

21 posted on 07/13/2012 6:33:05 AM PDT by tomkow6 (...................TOMKOW6 ! The ONLY voice of reason & sanity in a chaotic Canteen!...............)
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To: Lucky9teen

22 posted on 07/13/2012 6:38:07 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: NCC-1701
"TOP TEN!!!!!!!!!!"

Missed it by that much ...

23 posted on 07/13/2012 6:39:03 AM PDT by BlueLancer ("No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full" (Sulla))
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To: Currentriverrat

24 posted on 07/13/2012 6:39:53 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Lucky9teen
I told this woman she had been blessed with three beautiful children.

My mistake. She didn't have to get all pissed off and threaten me with a bomb. It was an honest mistake....

Photobucket

25 posted on 07/13/2012 6:40:21 AM PDT by TrueKnightGalahad
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To: BlueLancer

26 posted on 07/13/2012 6:40:59 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: workerbee

27 posted on 07/13/2012 6:43:08 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BlueLancer

See my #18. I raked myself over the coals for that.


28 posted on 07/13/2012 6:44:46 AM PDT by NCC-1701 (In Memphis on January 20, 2009, pump price were $1.49. We all know what happened after that.)
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To: NCC-1701
Oh well, it’s Friday the 13th. I’ll chalk it up to bad luck.

It's bad luck to be superstitious.

29 posted on 07/13/2012 6:44:54 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

Friday the 13th.


30 posted on 07/13/2012 6:47:27 AM PDT by bgill
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To: Lucky9teen
The most pointless gadgett ever
31 posted on 07/13/2012 7:01:34 AM PDT by Spunky (Those)
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To: NCC-1701
That's right, Friday the 13th. You know what's happening today, that I can't attend? 10th anniversary Firefly cast reunion at the ComiCon in San Diego.
32 posted on 07/13/2012 7:03:50 AM PDT by real saxophonist (Proud to have been beat up and shot by the late Paul Gomez. RIP, 'Gnomez'.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Watch your mailbox!

Just wanted to let you know – today I received my 2012 Social Security Stimulus Package.

It contained two tomato seeds, cornbread mix, a prayer rug, a machine to blow smoke up my behind, 2 discount coupons to KFC, an “Obama Hope & Change” bumper sticker, and a “Blame it on Bush” poster for the front yard. The directions were in Spanish.

Watch for yours soon.


33 posted on 07/13/2012 7:08:30 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen
Two blonds find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.

One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

34 posted on 07/13/2012 7:15:41 AM PDT by tomkow6 (...................TOMKOW6 ! The ONLY voice of reason & sanity in a chaotic Canteen!...............)
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To: Lucky9teen

TOP 40!!!


35 posted on 07/13/2012 7:44:21 AM PDT by Monkey Face (Sometimes, I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg.)
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To: Spunky

I want one! LOL!


36 posted on 07/13/2012 7:55:21 AM PDT by Monkey Face (Sometimes, I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg.)
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To: BenLurkin
Ah, memories of the Choom Bus:


37 posted on 07/13/2012 7:57:49 AM PDT by Old Sarge (We are now officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet)
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To: Lucky9teen

ALERT FROM; Center for DISEASE CONTROL

Subj: Gonorrhea Lectim …Deadly Disease!!

One should be thinking about this seriously. I ‘ m Posting this because I know you are all bright and I care about you.
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called “GonorrheaLectim.” It pronounced “Gonna re-elect em” and it is a terrible Obamanation. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum. Many victims contracted it in 2008...But now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-3 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.
It ‘ s sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market called Votemout. You take the first dose now and the second dose in Nov. 2012 and simply don ‘ t engage in such behavior again; otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.

Please pass this important message on to all those bright folk you really care about


38 posted on 07/13/2012 8:05:55 AM PDT by unique1
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To: workerbee

39 posted on 07/13/2012 8:08:09 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Old Sarge

40 posted on 07/13/2012 8:09:17 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

http://www.johnspeedie.com/healy/nerd.wav


41 posted on 07/13/2012 8:09:40 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Lucky9teen
A man phoned his blonde neighbor and said:

"Close your curtains the next time you & your husband are having sex.

The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

To which the blonde replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

42 posted on 07/13/2012 8:09:55 AM PDT by tomkow6 (...................TOMKOW6 ! The ONLY voice of reason & sanity in a chaotic Canteen!...............)
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To: BenLurkin

#27 is spot on, exactly right!!!


43 posted on 07/13/2012 8:18:17 AM PDT by workerbee (June 28, 2012 -- 9/11 From Within)
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To: Lucky9teen; Slings and Arrows; Lady Jag

44 posted on 07/13/2012 8:22:40 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Lucky9teen

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

But what makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
are represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-*-*-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far a** kissing will take you.

A-*-* K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its theBulls**t and A** Kissingthat will put you over the top. Now you know why some people are where they are!


45 posted on 07/13/2012 8:24:06 AM PDT by sockhead (Socialism means equality . . . everyone is equally miserable.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Today I had to go to Sears. As I approached the entrance, I noticed a driver looking for a parking space.

I flagged the driver and pointed out a handicap parking space that was open and available.

The driver looked puzzled, rolled down her window and said, ‘’I’m not handicapped!’’

Well, as you can imagine, my face was red!

‘’Oh, I’m sorry” I said, “I saw your Obama sticker and just assumed...’’

She gave me the finger and yelled some nasty names at me.

Boy! ——— Some people - and when you’re just trying to help them out.


46 posted on 07/13/2012 8:26:20 AM PDT by Twotone (Marte Et Clypeo)
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To: Lucky9teen

47 posted on 07/13/2012 8:31:01 AM PDT by unique1
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To: Lucky9teen
Slow Joe at the NAALCP

48 posted on 07/13/2012 8:39:49 AM PDT by SERKIT ("Blazing Saddles" explains it all.......)
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To: Lucky9teen


49 posted on 07/13/2012 8:46:33 AM PDT by dragonblustar (Allah Ain't So Akbar!)
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To: Lucky9teen
A blond spies a letter lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

50 posted on 07/13/2012 9:06:46 AM PDT by tomkow6 (...................TOMKOW6 ! The ONLY voice of reason & sanity in a chaotic Canteen!...............)
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