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Engineerial problem
07/20/12 | Not known

Posted on 07/20/2012 1:02:24 AM PDT by Freelance Warrior

A technical department in a Soviet university. An introductory lecture.

The professor:

For a start I'll explain to you, who an engineer is. There is a factory which receives daily a truckload of alcohol necessary for its operating. The factory has a huge tank with a tap to hold the alcohol. A female employee uses the tap to distribute the alcohol according to written orders. After each shift the tank is emptied with the same tap.

Now I have a question to you all:

How will an engineer steel some alcohol from the tank?"


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: alcohol; engineer; problem; soviet
I'll post the answer later.
1 posted on 07/20/2012 1:02:39 AM PDT by Freelance Warrior
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To: Freelance Warrior
Is propaganda.

Russia has no one who would steal alcohol.

2 posted on 07/20/2012 1:10:24 AM PDT by Kenny Bunk (What Hawaii gave to Obama, was not what Obama gave to us.)
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To: Kenny Bunk

Bribe the female employee and blame some local Uzbeks.


3 posted on 07/20/2012 1:12:33 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
Bribe the female employee and blame some local Uzbeks.

1.The employee is financially responsible.

2. This is not an engineerial solution.

4 posted on 07/20/2012 1:15:05 AM PDT by Freelance Warrior (A Russian.)
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To: Freelance Warrior
http://tinyurl.com/dx5ah5f
5 posted on 07/20/2012 1:15:59 AM PDT by Berlin_Freeper
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To: Freelance Warrior

Do you mean steal?


6 posted on 07/20/2012 1:18:09 AM PDT by kabumpo (Kabumpo)
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To: Freelance Warrior

The engineer would place the glass of alcohol near somebody and then go tell the supervisor that the person near the glass stole the alcohol.

When the person, who is accused of stealing it, is dragged off, the engineer would then pick up the glass and carry on.

That’s how they did it in the old Soviet Union.


7 posted on 07/20/2012 1:20:51 AM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Freelance Warrior

From the top of the open tank with a glass, cup, straw, whatever. :-)


8 posted on 07/20/2012 1:28:44 AM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (I wanna start a Seniors' Motor Scooter Gang. Wanna join?)
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To: kabumpo
Do you mean steal?

Yes, sorry.

9 posted on 07/20/2012 1:29:59 AM PDT by Freelance Warrior (A Russian.)
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To: Freelance Warrior

Write a requisition? ( Something like that, I’ll bet. )


10 posted on 07/20/2012 1:32:23 AM PDT by dr_lew
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To: Freelance Warrior

Torchit


11 posted on 07/20/2012 1:35:00 AM PDT by bigheadfred (MY PET TAPEWORM OBIWAN IS AN INSANE MILITARY HATING LEFTIST)
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To: spel_grammer_an_punct_polise
From the top of the open tank with a glass, cup, straw, whatever. :-)

1. The tank is huge

2. Stealing must be done secretly.

But using the top is a part of the solution!

12 posted on 07/20/2012 1:35:21 AM PDT by Freelance Warrior (A Russian.)
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To: Jonty30
place the glass of alcohol near somebody and then go tell the supervisor that the person near the glass stole the alcohol.

This is not an engineerial solution either.

13 posted on 07/20/2012 1:37:05 AM PDT by Freelance Warrior (A Russian.)
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To: Freelance Warrior; kabumpo
Do you mean steal?

Yes, sorry.

Like acid and oil on a madman's face His reason tends to fly away

14 posted on 07/20/2012 1:42:33 AM PDT by bigheadfred (MY PET TAPEWORM OBIWAN IS AN INSANE MILITARY HATING LEFTIST)
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To: Freelance Warrior

Is there a vent on the tank?


15 posted on 07/20/2012 1:44:04 AM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: Freelance Warrior

It’s an engineering solution, if the engineer came up with it. :)


16 posted on 07/20/2012 1:44:24 AM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Freelance Warrior
1.The employee is financially responsible.

I thought you said this was from Soviet Russia.

17 posted on 07/20/2012 1:47:22 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Freelance Warrior

In Soviet Russia, tanker steal you.


18 posted on 07/20/2012 1:49:58 AM PDT by Melas (u)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult
Is there a vent on the tank?

Probably. Anyway, there's an opporunity to access the tank's filling opening and/or the vent before/after shifts. But not the tap.

19 posted on 07/20/2012 1:52:29 AM PDT by Freelance Warrior (A Russian.)
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To: Freelance Warrior

I know one way it could be done. It would depend on the volume of the truck, but you could either pump air into the truck to displace volume of the stolen booze or by lowering the pressure within the tank, it would allow the alcohol to expand.


20 posted on 07/20/2012 1:54:12 AM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
I thought you said this was from Soviet Russia.

That's exactly the Soviet way of doing things, at least when the issue is about valueables :)

21 posted on 07/20/2012 1:57:12 AM PDT by Freelance Warrior (A Russian.)
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To: Freelance Warrior
It's simple. You pretend to work. We pretend to pay you.

The clock moves forward.

22 posted on 07/20/2012 2:00:36 AM PDT by cynwoody
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To: Freelance Warrior
This is not an engineerial solution either.

This whole question made me think of a quote I saw from Shane Carruth, the software engineer turned indie film maker who made the low budget cult hit time travel movie, PRIMER : "Engineering is giving someone three days to do something that takes five minutes."

23 posted on 07/20/2012 2:01:55 AM PDT by dr_lew
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To: cynwoody
It's simple. You pretend to work. We pretend to pay you.

The clock moves forward.

Then, on the other side of the north pole, they elect a movie actor as their President.

24 posted on 07/20/2012 2:05:36 AM PDT by cynwoody
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To: Jonty30
I know one way it could be done. It would depend on the volume of the truck, but you could either pump air into the truck to displace volume of the stolen booze or by lowering the pressure within the tank, it would allow the alcohol to expand.

That's a real engineerial solution. The problem with it is that the engineer can access the tank during down time only, when the tank is meant to be empty.

When the filling opening is open before a shift the pressure inside becomes equal to the atmospheric.

25 posted on 07/20/2012 2:06:30 AM PDT by Freelance Warrior (A Russian.)
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To: Freelance Warrior

Steeling [from] the tank?
I suppose you’d have to use a sand-blaster, but that’s no good if the tank is solid steel.


26 posted on 07/20/2012 2:10:38 AM PDT by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: Freelance Warrior
Well, I think it's the time for posting the answer:

1. Before a shift put a bucket with weights inside, for the bucket to stand steady, retrieve it with a rope and a hook after the shift.

2. If they inspect the tank with a rod after the tank is emptied, drop a quilt inside (or two, or any number of them), then retrieve it and squeeze.

27 posted on 07/20/2012 2:14:41 AM PDT by Freelance Warrior (A Russian.)
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To: Freelance Warrior

At first glance it looks like an English problem, but if you really want to know the perfect way, steal the alcohol through evaporation.


28 posted on 07/20/2012 2:34:42 AM PDT by Usagi_yo
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To: Freelance Warrior

You need to get a real job; this crap thread is a waste of time!

JC


29 posted on 07/20/2012 2:43:10 AM PDT by cracker45
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To: Freelance Warrior
Soooo simple. Al is volatile so you loose some to the air. Heat the tank and you distill it the second time like some scotch.
30 posted on 07/20/2012 2:54:11 AM PDT by Domangart
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To: Freelance Warrior

The female employee is the larcenous engineer, true?


31 posted on 07/20/2012 3:54:28 AM PDT by muir_redwoods (Legalize Freedom!!)
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To: null and void

ping


32 posted on 07/20/2012 4:38:34 AM PDT by Shimmer1 (government health officials seem to have the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.)
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To: Freelance Warrior

You can not turn alcohol into steel. Her efforts to steel it are in vain.


33 posted on 07/20/2012 4:45:21 AM PDT by listenhillary (Courts, law enforcement, roads and national defense should be the extent of government)
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To: Freelance Warrior

That solution was the first thing that came to my mind, but it was so incredibly obvious, I just decided not to say anything.


34 posted on 07/20/2012 5:01:21 AM PDT by ClearCase_guy (Roger Taney? Not a bad Chief Justice. John Roberts? A really awful Chief Justice.)
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To: Usagi_yo
At first glance it looks like an English problem, but if you really want to know the perfect way, steal the alcohol through evaporation.

Yep!

35 posted on 07/20/2012 6:57:59 AM PDT by Tallguy (It's all 'Fun and Games' until somebody loses an eye!)
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To: Freelance Warrior
Comrade,
It is my sad duty to report that the Uzbekistan Alcohol Collective Plant at Stalinoputz shipped us Methanolski instead of Ethanolski, and now all my thought-criminal staff of Uzbeki counter-revolutionaries are dead, having ignorantly snuck drink from the mistaken shipment. At least their bodies will not freeze soon.

I have disposed of the remainder of the Methanolski and urgently request a replacement shipment of Ethanolski so that we may meet our production quotas for the glory of the Rodina and Communism.

Dos Vedanya, Dudeski,
Kenny Bunkov.

36 posted on 07/20/2012 10:12:02 AM PDT by Kenny Bunk (What Hawaii gave to Obama, was not what Obama gave to us.)
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To: Freelance Warrior

Lame answers having nothing to do with engineering.

An engineer would suck all the air out of the empty tank, run it thru a cold tube, and condense the evaporated alcohol out of the air.


37 posted on 07/20/2012 10:31:17 AM PDT by ctdonath2 ($1 meals: http://abuckaplate.blogspot.com)
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To: Freelance Warrior

Maybe Comrade Obama can create another TRILLION dollar stimulus package to help figure this problem out? After all it’s only Obama money! Right?


38 posted on 07/20/2012 11:49:25 AM PDT by Mier (Liberalism always generates the exact opposite of its stated intent!! "Jim Quinn")
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To: Shimmer1

I’d write the process instructions to require a sample be given to the engineer for testing each day.


39 posted on 07/20/2012 11:53:31 AM PDT by null and void (Day 1275 of our ObamaVacation from reality - Heroes aren't made Frank, they're cornered...)
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