Posted on 07/31/2012 5:07:35 AM PDT by Sir Napsalot
A new study suggests that—no matter how platonic you imagine a relationship may be—every man you know but aren’t related to is trying to sleep with you. And what’s worse, they think you’re trying to sleep with them right back.
Yes, really.
....
And while this unique insight into the male brain is troubling for male-female friendships around the world—including your insistence that you “stay friends” with all of your exes—the findings are much more disturbing when put into the context of the workplace. What about the platonic relationships you have with your male colleagues? Do male supervisors believe their female subordinates are in love with them? How does that shape corporate culture, the assessment of female employees and women’s advancement in the office?
(Excerpt) Read more at forbes.com ...
Attraction between Friends of Opposite Sexes
from a social sciense study published in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
I'm shocked!
I thought it was just me!;-)
I have worked with all types of women over the years...believe me the ones that look like Ohio State linebackers I do not want to sleep with...
I never thought that about women I worked with, and at my age, I doubt any woman wants to sleep with me. I admit to working with some women who I would have liked to sleep with.
I don’t think I’m that different from the rest of the male population. This study must be crap. Was it taxpayer funded?
This is outrageous!!! How dare they spill the beans and release high security information like that. Traitors.
Very interesting. That certainly never occurred to me when I was employed.
Without reading the details of the original study, I wonder if the researchers made a distinction between “opposite sex friends” and “polite working relationship.” One need not be “friends” with coworkers of either sex in order to work together in a civilized way. I have polite working relationships with men in Scouts and church ministry ... it’s very difficult to believe that any of them thinks a 46-year-old married woman with ten children, including a 6-month-old baby, is interested in sex with them.
And does anyone other than me have a problem with the designation of people in their 20s and 30s as “emerging adults”?
Look at the way business women dress, relative to the way business men dress. Although they may not want to sleep with them, it is clear that women see an advantage to teasing men in the workplace.
“There is NO such thing as a platonic relationship between a man and woman.”
That's not sexism; both men and women succumb; in every such “friendship,” one or both will eventually harbor romantic thoughts...
science
A new study (and several older studies) suggest that.....ONE study proves nothing.
So......it has no effect on the unemployed? :-)
Your “business women” link no worky. But I’ve heard for forty years that “slit skirts & miniskirts don’t belong in the workplace, and a woman who wears either won’t be taken seriously”.
So why do professional women go right on wearing them, and getting promoted? Now don’t tell me, let me guess.
At least women have quit wearing pantsuits. Yuk. With one notorious exception, our Secretary of State, who not for nothing is known to her bodyguards as the “Flying Buttress”.
;^)
Lots of women flatter themselves with such thoughts.Truth is most are not desirable.
A couple of thoughts here (as a man who has been around):
1. Its true that a [straight] man will imagine what its like to have sexual relations with a female co-worker if she is halfway decent looking and/or nice. For the most part, this is just an involuntary, fleeting though—not something you ponder or act on. It tends not to happen with women who are relatively unattractive, old, or have bad personalities.
2. I seriously doubt that mature men imagine female co-workers have a “secret crush” on them. The exception is if women give real signals to this effect. These signals can range from obvious flirting to less subtle things, like laughing at your banter (even when its not really funny), hanging around for longer than they have to, lingering eye contact, unnecessarily close physical proximity or even offering to pay for things. This last one is a subtle, but surprisingly good indicator—perhaps because woman may not think of it as a signal. Even if you have fleeting sexual thoughts about a woman, most men can tell if ia woman is truely interested or not.
3. The most disingenuous statement in the world is when a woman says to a man: “But....I thought we were just friends.” All women over 18 understand male-female dynamics very well. Women realize how men are wired and can intuitively tell when a man is attracted to them. And they use it for all its worth—especially when a) they are not attracted to us and b) they know we won’t act on it. At the end of the day, when it comes to using sexuality, they are the professionals and we are the amatuers.
Asinine comment. (not yours, the so-called designation)
Anyway, I still think the ‘young adults’ are influenced way too much by tv shows.
It seems every tv sitcom/drama/reality show, every one is sleeping/attracted to every one else, esp. in work environment.
There were certainly rumors of such romantic flings at my work place(s), but very rare considering the large number of employees. As for fantasizing .....
I did not get the impression that the research was limited to “friendships” between coworkers, so it’s probably applicable generally, to the extent it’s accurate at all.
The “Forbes” article seems to be discussing single adults, so it makes sense to me that they would be checking one another out as sex partners.
“I have polite working relationships with men in Scouts and church ministry ... it’s very difficult to believe that any of them thinks a 46-year-old married woman with ten children, including a 6-month-old baby, is interested in sex with them.”
They don’t rationally believe it could possibly happen but the thought of fantasy exists. Someone with self control doesn’t act on his thoughts but it is impossible to not have them in the first place.
I call BS. I don’t want to with any of them, and I am sure they don’t want to with me either.
” Asinine comment. (not yours, the so-called designation) “
Not an incorrect designation of this generation’s 20-30 year olds, unfortunately.
If that’s the way people think of themselves - and I assume the author does, since she used the term - it seems to me that they are giving themselves permission to act in stupid and immature ways that contemporaries who define themselves as “adults” would not.
My 18-year-old might be considered an “emerging adult,” although I’m more inclined to say “teenage pain-in-the-neck.” However, a 30-year-old man had better have arrived at unqualified adulthood.
It is one thing for a man to consider me as a possible sex partner, although I rather hope they wouldn’t, but it’s something else again if any of them thought I was considering them back, as it were.
I’m out of the age range of the study, anyway, although many of the men I see are in their 20s and 30s - because their children are the age of our younger ones - while my husband and I are in our late 40s.
You’ve worked late nights and even weekends to show your supervisor he can count on you. But your boss hasn’t gotten the message; instead, he’s filed those nights and weekends under “romantic pursuit” and your hard-work as pleas for his attention.
As the current big fish in a small pond, the last thing I want to deal with is a harassment lawsuit because I'm in the position of authority creating a "hostile work environment". Business stays business. It keeps me safer.
They JUST figured this out?!
“Anyway, I still think the ‘young adults’ are influenced way too much by tv shows.”
__________________________________________
I agree....but I see such influence across all age brackets. The more secularized we become as a culture....the worse it will be. Our *authentic* quality of life deteriorates in direct relationship with our secularization.
Considering that I'm in my 30's and own two businesses, Meghan Casserly's number won't be going in my little black book anytime soon.
If men are such pigs, then who are all these men sleeping with?
I’d say you have emerged!
Like I said - asinine!
My 14yo considers herself and emerging-adult......I think of her more a brat! She did however get on an airplane in Norfolk, change planes in Baltimore and arrive safely on her own in Tampa yesterday. I wanted to cry when she walked passed those TSA agents yesterday. One o them smiled at me and said “She’ll be fine, Mom.”
It is one thing for a man to consider me as a possible sex partner, although I rather hope they wouldn’t, but it’s something else again if any of them thought I was considering them back, as it were.
When a woman responds to a man with a friendly “c u soon :)” text message, he will take it all the way in his mind.
Looking at the pickings in our so-called culture today, I’d say these findings explain why so many men just stay on unemployment or disability and sit around all day playing video games and watching porn in their parents’ basement.
“Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself” - gazing out at the used car lot of available offerings, for most men this means celibacy, or ought to.
This study seems very flawed. I work with a number of women and I don’t think one of them wants to sleep with me. In fact, over my career, I can only think of a handful of times when I thought a female co-worker was putting off signs that she wanted to have a more involved relationship (which I never pursued for all the legal problems that can come from something like that).
I actually have experienced the opposite in one organization where I worked — a woman who slept with at least two of our male co-workers.
Congratulations! They can be amazingly competent, while at the same time being impossibly bratty ;-).
Men are pigs. I have told my daughters this fact. All men, of any age, no matter who they are have some of that pig inside. It is something as natural as breathing, but we men learn to live with it. As long as the thought police don’t arrest us there will be thoughts of sex flying into and out of mens minds on a regular basis. Even Jimmy Carter (not someone I usually agree with) admitted to lusting in his heart.
Imagine if the study reversed the genders. I am 100% sure people like this Forbes author would be up in arms. But since this supposed study makes men look bad then it can be proclaimed from the rooftops. The entire premise of the Forbes article is false. It makes the mistake of taking a study about friendships and putting into the context of a working environment.
Oh, please. Yes, there are women who dress slutty - but that is usually not tolerated in the workplace. To me, it seems like a woman who dresses nice, is clean and wears nice makeup will be attractive - and men see that as a 'tease'.
And Lord help her if she has breasts...
Well then she's just asking for it.
Not my point. not at all.
When I flew back in April for the first time since 2000, I was understandably nervous because of all the horror stories I’d heard and read (primarily here on FR) over the past few years. I was pleasantly surprised by the professionalism and politeness of every TSA agent I encountered. Same thing when I flew again 2 weeks ago.
I do admit, one of the first questions I asked my daughter when she called me between lights was about security. She said it was just like we dealt with 2 weeks ago.
While I will not deny the truth of the stories I’ve read, I have been fortunate in that it has not been my experience.
... it’s very difficult to believe that any of them thinks a 46-year-old married woman with ten children, including a 6-month-old baby, is interested in sex with them.Well, she's obviously interested in sex with somebody.
Revoke his Man Card.
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