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Al-Qaeda’s ‘suicide bombers wanted’ ad
The Times Of Israel ^ | 8/14/2012 | Asher Zeiger

Posted on 08/14/2012 9:38:21 AM PDT by Beave Meister

Apparently low on bombers, al-Qaeda is running a (short-term) employment advertisement on its Shumukh al-Islam Internet forum. Under the heading “Area of activity: The planet Earth,” the ad seeks jihadists to carry out suicide attacks.

Applicants must be Muslim, mentally mature, dedicated, able to listen, and utterly committed to completing their mission, the Hebrew daily Yedioth Ahronoth reported on Tuesday.

Several email addresses are provided for applicants. While their real names are not required, candidates are asked to send details of their nickname or handle, their age, marital status, languages spoken and a list of passports in their possession.

The ad on the forum, which is accessible only to al-Qaeda members, specifies the targets of the terror attacks that applicants will be expected to carry out, including “People who fight Islam and Muslims” and enemy “financial, military and media targets.”

(Excerpt) Read more at timesofisrael.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: alqaeda; islam; israel; jihadists; jobs; muslim; suicidebomber; wanted
What are the benefits and do they have to join the union?
1 posted on 08/14/2012 9:38:30 AM PDT by Beave Meister
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To: Beave Meister

Where do you get your recruits?

The Suicide Hotline!

2 posted on 08/14/2012 9:49:11 AM PDT by CtBigPat (Free Republic - The grown-ups table of the internet.)
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To: Beave Meister

Well, OK, but I’d like to see some details of the pension plan ...


3 posted on 08/14/2012 9:51:40 AM PDT by eCSMaster ('Nancy Pelosi is a DINGBAT.' - Gov. Sarah Palin)
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To: Beave Meister

"Suicide Squad....ATTACK!"

4 posted on 08/14/2012 9:52:29 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Beave Meister

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqstuFZuvJQ

From American Carol


5 posted on 08/14/2012 9:59:39 AM PDT by GraceG
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To: Beave Meister
What are the benefits

They promise you 72 virgins. Your results may vary.

6 posted on 08/14/2012 10:03:40 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (The Democratic Party strongly supports full civil rights for necro-Americans!)
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To: Beave Meister
What are the benefits and do they have to join the union?

Do they have an apprentice program? And how do you get to be a journeyman?

7 posted on 08/14/2012 10:06:28 AM PDT by tacticalogic ("Oh, bother!" said Pooh, as he chambered his last round.)
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To: Beave Meister
Lemme guess...this ran in the Dearborn edition of The Pennysaver?


8 posted on 08/14/2012 10:06:28 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Beave Meister

I’m kinda busy right now but I could take the job on in a part-time status if that’d be OK.


9 posted on 08/14/2012 10:14:13 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Beave Meister

“Shumuchk”?

You can’t make this stuff up...the jokes just write themselves.


10 posted on 08/14/2012 10:23:19 AM PDT by left that other site (Worry is the Darkroom that Develops Negatives.)
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To: Beave Meister
What are the benefits

Early retirement.
11 posted on 08/14/2012 10:48:05 AM PDT by PA Engineer ("We're not programs, Gerty, We're People")
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To: Beave Meister

“What are the benefits and do they have to join the union?”

One day on and eternity off. Great retirement package.


12 posted on 08/14/2012 11:10:03 AM PDT by Augustinian monk
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Berosus; bigheadfred; Bockscar; ColdOne; Convert from ECUSA; ...

thanks Beave Meister, additional:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2918451/posts


13 posted on 08/14/2012 3:31:06 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: Beave Meister

Benefits: 72 virgins to boink forever, as well as boys like pearls (”not that there’s anything wrong with that”), and two-foot-long schlong provided to enjoy them with. Shade and springs and lots of booze, and an all-you-can-eat buffet. Pita never gets soggy. Movin’ On Up song from Jeffersons plays on PA (haha) system continually, except when Man Who Shot Liberty Valance theme song plays. Family provided for by private donors’ grants. Monopoly and Parcheezie games never end. Hookahs never run out of smoke. Islamic sitcoms on 24/7. What’s not to like?/s


14 posted on 08/14/2012 3:41:54 PM PDT by Eleutheria5 (End the occupation. Annex today.)
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To: Eleutheria5

Toss in free WiFi and I’m there! : )


15 posted on 08/14/2012 6:02:01 PM PDT by teflon9 (Political campaigns should follow Johnny Mercer's advice--Accentuate the positive.)
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