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(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

Posted on 08/17/2012 5:40:07 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Gaffetastic!



Where Am I...?
During an August 14th speech, Biden attempted to fire-up the audience when he told them:  "We need you to go out there and make sure, ladies and gentlemen, that with you, and I mean this: With you, we can win North Carolina again.  And if we do, we win the election if we win you."

Unfortunately for Biden, the speech was delivered in Danville... Virginia.


Who Is He...?
One upping himself, the following day the VEEP made another campaign stop at Virginia Tech University in Blacksburg, Va. The former member of Congress seems to have forgotten the elected office his soon-to-be debate opponent holds: "Congressman Ryan and the congressional Republicans, as one person said, had all, have already passed in the Republican House what Governor Ryan is promising to give the whole nation."

Paul Ryan is the representative from Wisconsin's 1st Congressional District.  He's never served as the governor of any American state or territory.

What Century Is This...?
Possibly sensing he was on a roll, the constitutional spare tire attempted to aggrandize Obama's mega-multi-billion dollar bailout of General Motors:  "Once again General Motors [is] the largest automaker in the world.  Folks, where is it written that we cannot lead the world in the 20th century in making automobiles?  I’ve not seen it written anywhere."


Yet again, unfortunately for Biden, this is the 21st century.

Get Excited, will ya?
About 200 Turkish-American and Azerbaijani-American Obama donors learned one April morning at a breakfast in Washington, DC. that, when attending a Joe Biden fundraising event, you can't just show up and write a check—you've got to get excited! In typical Biden fashion, the ever-jovial VP teased the crowd for being subdued. "I guess what I'm trying to say without boring you too long at breakfast--and you all look dull as hell, I might add," he said. "The dullest audience I have ever spoken to. Just sitting there, staring at me. Pretend you like me!"



Carry a Big Stick
Biden attempted to explain how President Obama’s foreign policy is better than Mitt Romney’s by referencing Theodore Roosevelt’s classic quote, “Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.” Joe decided to hone in on, perhaps, the most important part of Roosevelt’s words saying, “I promise you, the President has a big stick. I promise you.” Biden’s words instantly sent minds into the gutter, eliciting laughter from his audience and many a dirty joke on Twitter. New York magazine chose to interpret the VP’s words literally and put forth a gallery displaying The Many Sticks of Barack Obama.



Offending the Irish
Biden has shown before that he loves a good double—or even triple—entendre. In March, he welcomed Ireland’s prime minister to the White House by sharing “An old Irish saying” that his Grandfather Finnegan probably made up: “May the hinges of our friendship never go rusty.” Biden insisted that when it comes to the friendship between the U.S. and Ireland, “there’s no doubt about them staying oiled and lubricated here.” When Joe’s audience erupted in laughter, he added, “Now, for those of you who are not full Irish in this room, lubricated has a different meaning for us.”

In another speech, amid several Irish proverbs and sayings, Biden referenced the prime minister’s mother, saying: “God rest her soul.” Then the VP had a realization: “Wait, your mom’s still alive! It was your dad who passed. God bless her soul!” Biden corrected his mistake, the audience roared, yet it was unclear whether the PM found Biden’s blunder amusing.



Joe’s big f-bomb
"This is a big f---ing deal!" An open mic caught the vice president uttering these congratulatory words to Obama during the health care law signing ceremony on March 23, 2010.


Keep calm and panic!
"I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now. … When one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That's me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway." -- Biden, trying to allay public fears about swine flu, in a “Today” show interview, April 30, 2009

Get up, man!
Biden asked Sen. Chuck Graham to stand up to be recognized by the crowd at a rally on Sept. 9, 2008. Apparently, Biden somehow forgot that Graham uses a wheelchair. "Chuck, stand up, let the people see you," said Biden. “Oh, God love ya...What am I talking about?"

You know, the guy who said the oath.
“Jill and I had the great honor of standing on that stage, looking across at one of the great justices, Justice Stewart," Biden said in an apparent reference to Justice John Paul Stevens, who had just sworn him in as vice president, Jan. 20, 2009.

Math isn’t his strong suit.
"If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there's still a 30 percent chance we're going to get it wrong." – Biden warning members of the House Democratic caucus that they could face flak for the $900 billion economic stimulus bill, Feb. 6, 2009.

Where’s a crisis when you need one?
"Remember, I said it standing here, if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're going to have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy." —Biden, telling donors at a private fundraiser in Seattle that Barack Obama would likely be tested by an international crisis during his first few months as president, Oct. 20, 2008.

Maybe you should have gone with Hillary
"Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Let's get that straight. She's a truly close personal friend. She is qualified to be president of the United States of America. She's easily qualified to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me. But she's first rate." – Biden praising Obama’a former rival for the Democratic presidential nomination, Sept. 10, 2008.

Generous - to a fault.
"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." — Biden, being complimentary about fellow Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama on Jan. 31, 2007.

Equal opportunity offender
"In Delaware, the largest growth of population is Indian-Americans, moving from India. You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking.” -- Biden was talking the support he enjoyed among Indian-Americans in a private comment captured on C-SPAN in June 2006.

Stealing someone else’s line
"I started thinking as I was coming over here, Why is it that Joe Biden is the first in his family ever to go to a university?" – Biden during his first presidential run, Aug. 23, 1987. He lifted passages of that speech from a speech by British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock. The plagiarism revelations led Biden to bow out of the race.

Depressed about History
"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed,'' Biden told anchor Katie Couric on the CBS Evening News. "He said, 'Look, here's what happened.' ''

The only problem is that FDR was not the president when the stock market crashed. Herbert Hoover was. The second problem is that television was not widely available during the October 1929 market crash, and the dominant means of communication at the time was the radio.
 


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: biden; bidengaffes; gaffe; joebiden; obamajokes; ofst; silliness
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1 posted on 08/17/2012 5:40:19 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

Joe Biden the gift that keeps on giving.


2 posted on 08/17/2012 5:41:46 AM PDT by Ratman83
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To: Lucky9teen

Woohoo!!! Friday!!!!!!!!!


3 posted on 08/17/2012 5:41:49 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

WAKE UP


IT'S TIME FOR


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST




4 posted on 08/17/2012 5:45:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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TOP TEN!


5 posted on 08/17/2012 5:46:09 AM PDT by RandallFlagg (Obama hates Mexicans (Fast and Furious))
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To: Lucky9teen
TOP TEN!!!!!
6 posted on 08/17/2012 5:47:08 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 10!


7 posted on 08/17/2012 5:47:53 AM PDT by workerbee (June 28, 2012 -- 9/11 From Within)
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To: Lucky9teen
Joe has a great future as a stand-up comedian after November........


8 posted on 08/17/2012 5:48:21 AM PDT by Emperor Palpatine (Tosca, mi fai dimenticare Iddio!!!!!)
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To: ShadowAce

Every quote and gaffe should be a GOP campaign commercial, with the last line, “Americans need a President that can make intelligent decisions.”


9 posted on 08/17/2012 5:49:45 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (ABO 2012)
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To: Ratman83

Or one could say....

Joe Biden the gaffe that keeps on gaffing.


10 posted on 08/17/2012 5:49:57 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Emperor Palpatine

But who would pay to see him?


11 posted on 08/17/2012 5:50:47 AM PDT by gortklattu (God knows who is best, everybody else is making guesses - Tony Snow)
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To: Lucky9teen

Joe Biden Mad Libs!!!!!

**spewing**LOL**spewing**LOL


12 posted on 08/17/2012 5:52:12 AM PDT by workerbee (June 28, 2012 -- 9/11 From Within)
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To: gortklattu

The same idiots who paid to see Charlie Sheen do stand up, hehehe.


13 posted on 08/17/2012 5:53:40 AM PDT by Emperor Palpatine (Tosca, mi fai dimenticare Iddio!!!!!)
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To: Lucky9teen

14 posted on 08/17/2012 5:53:53 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
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To: Lucky9teen

The Silliness Thread is here! The Silliness Thread is here!

15 posted on 08/17/2012 5:56:04 AM PDT by MarineBrat (Better dead than red!)
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To: Lucky9teen

16 posted on 08/17/2012 5:57:00 AM PDT by workerbee (June 28, 2012 -- 9/11 From Within)
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To: Ratman83
Joe Biden the gift that keeps on giving gaffing.

Fixed.

17 posted on 08/17/2012 6:01:24 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (EAT MOR CHIKIN)
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To: Emperor Palpatine
I'd pay to see this Charlie Sheen commercial in person. It would beat Paul McCartney prices.

I'd pay to see this commercial as well.

On second thought, maybe Charlie has nothing to do with it.

18 posted on 08/17/2012 6:03:21 AM PDT by gortklattu (God knows who is best, everybody else is making guesses - Tony Snow)
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To: Lucky9teen
And now, just as we had Kim Jong-Il Looking At Things, we have...

Obama Looking Pensively Out Windows!

19 posted on 08/17/2012 6:03:52 AM PDT by Old Sarge (We are now officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet)
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To: Lucky9teen

” Virginia Tech University”

No such thing.


20 posted on 08/17/2012 6:09:30 AM PDT by AppyPappy (If you really want to annoy someone, point out something obvious that they are trying hard to ignore)
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To: Lucky9teen

Joe Biden: Making Dan Quayle look like a genius, since 2008.


21 posted on 08/17/2012 6:10:49 AM PDT by Paradox (I want Obama defeated. Period.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

That works too.


22 posted on 08/17/2012 6:14:56 AM PDT by Ratman83
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To: Lucky9teen
Excellent silliness this week!
23 posted on 08/17/2012 6:17:56 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Lucky9teen

Joe is good for so many, it will be hard to see the end. If Nov goes well that should be the end of it, right?


24 posted on 08/17/2012 6:19:39 AM PDT by Ratman83
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To: Lucky9teen

25 posted on 08/17/2012 6:19:44 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: workerbee

26 posted on 08/17/2012 6:23:29 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Lucky9teen

IWOAP!

(In Without A Ping!)


27 posted on 08/17/2012 6:25:49 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Only Obama put a dog on the roof of his mouth. Dogs are friends, not food.)
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To: JoeProBono

28 posted on 08/17/2012 6:25:59 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Lucky9teen
It is sad to see the VP (who could be President) has advance stages of Alzheimer.
29 posted on 08/17/2012 6:26:13 AM PDT by bmwcyle (Corollary - Electing the same person over and over and expecting a different outcome is insanity)
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To: Old Sarge

Hussein: “Where’s the ice cream truck? It should be here by now?”


30 posted on 08/17/2012 6:28:41 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Emperor Palpatine
Nancy is thrilled...

31 posted on 08/17/2012 6:33:36 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Old Sarge

32 posted on 08/17/2012 6:36:56 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Only Obama put a dog on the roof of his mouth. Dogs are friends, not food.)
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To: Lucky9teen

I heard a good one yesterday: Instead of Shoeless Joe Jackson, we have Clueless Joe Biden.


33 posted on 08/17/2012 6:59:02 AM PDT by ConservativeStatement (Obama "acted stupidly.")
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To: Lucky9teen; Slings and Arrows
Joe Biden's cat?


34 posted on 08/17/2012 6:59:04 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Only Obama put a dog on the roof of his mouth. Dogs are friends, not food.)
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To: Lucky9teen

WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO TGIF
im in TOP 100


35 posted on 08/17/2012 7:07:03 AM PDT by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
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To: BenLurkin; JoeProBono
Hussein: “Where’s the ice cream truck? It should be here by now?”

MMmmmmmmm. ICE CREAM!


36 posted on 08/17/2012 7:10:49 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Only Obama put a dog on the roof of his mouth. Dogs are friends, not food.)
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To: Lucky9teen

THIS NOVEMBER

GO FORWARD

OBAMA-BIDEN 2012


37 posted on 08/17/2012 7:15:58 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Only Obama put a dog on the roof of his mouth. Dogs are friends, not food.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Replace the cat with Slow Joe and the results will be the same.

38 posted on 08/17/2012 7:23:48 AM PDT by red-dawg (If muslims are exempt from Obamacare, then my name is Mohammed Suks.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Mitt will probably be blamed for this as well.


39 posted on 08/17/2012 7:25:29 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Only Obama put a dog on the roof of his mouth. Dogs are friends, not food.)
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To: Emperor Palpatine

“Mitt Romney has selected Paul Ryan as his running mate. They say this could be a big boost for the Republican ticket and I was thinking, ‘Well, Joe Biden could be a big boost for the Republican ticket, you know?’” –David Letterman


“On Saturday President Obama and Joe Biden spent more than four hours playing golf together. Joe Biden’s handicap is 20, while Obama’s handicap . . . is Joe Biden.” –Jimmy Fallon


“Vice President Joe Biden said today that he had to ask his wife Jill to marry him five times before she said yes. Five times! Joe, that’s not a proposal, that’s harassment.” –Jay Leno


“A reporter in Florida was forced into a closet by Joe Biden’s staff to keep him from talking to guests at a fund-raiser. The guy said it wouldn’t have been so bad if Biden wasn’t already in there for the same reason.” —Jimmy Fallo


40 posted on 08/17/2012 7:31:01 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Only Obama put a dog on the roof of his mouth. Dogs are friends, not food.)
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To: Paradox

“Sarah Palin has managed to use her failed vice presidential run to put herself in a position of power and influence. Joe Biden won the race and he hasn’t been able to put himself in a position of power and influence.” –Craig Ferguson


41 posted on 08/17/2012 7:35:57 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Only Obama put a dog on the roof of his mouth. Dogs are friends, not food.)
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42 posted on 08/17/2012 7:38:10 AM PDT by Heartlander (You are either the doer, or the dude)
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To: a fool in paradise

43 posted on 08/17/2012 8:09:19 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
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To: Lucky9teen

From a friend in Chicago......

My father was a staunch conservative and voted straight line Republican until the day he died…

I am ashamed.... because now he votes Democrat....


44 posted on 08/17/2012 8:25:07 AM PDT by unique1
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To: unique1

45 posted on 08/17/2012 8:30:31 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

46 posted on 08/17/2012 8:32:50 AM PDT by unique1
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To: bmwcyle

47 posted on 08/17/2012 8:38:39 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

48 posted on 08/17/2012 9:01:30 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 12 Reasons to Vote Democrat

1. I will vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my German Shepherd.

2. I will vote Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

3. I will vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

4. I will vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

5. I will vote Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

6. I will vote Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.

7. I will vote Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

8. I will vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.

9. I will vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

10. I will vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

11. I will vote Democrat because I think that it’s better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.

12. I will vote Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my butt, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.


49 posted on 08/17/2012 9:02:59 AM PDT by sockhead (Socialism means equality . . . everyone is equally miserable.)
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To: red-dawg

That right there is funny. Almost makes me wish I had a cat.


50 posted on 08/17/2012 9:21:40 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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