Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

Posted on 08/24/2012 6:04:31 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

When my wife and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS





We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.






My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.



My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had ice-burg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City




I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
To request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman , KS



I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.



The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS



At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


I feel like a VALEDICTORIAN !!!!!
I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"

She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....


 
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
And for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.



How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City , Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha".
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us......and they VOTE



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; silliness; stupidpeople
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-66 next last

1 posted on 08/24/2012 6:04:39 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Woohoo!!


2 posted on 08/24/2012 6:05:14 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

IBTP!!!!


3 posted on 08/24/2012 6:06:08 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

WEEEEEEEE!!!


IT'S TIME FOR


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST




4 posted on 08/24/2012 6:07:02 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: JRios1968
NOT photoshopped

5 posted on 08/24/2012 6:17:12 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Hurray!


6 posted on 08/24/2012 6:18:14 AM PDT by holly go-rightly
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Funny, they’re not even spelling “OIHO”

Look at it closely, and apparently they’re in “OIHA”

State #58??


7 posted on 08/24/2012 6:19:54 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

8 posted on 08/24/2012 6:23:50 AM PDT by trailhkr1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Top Ten I hope!


9 posted on 08/24/2012 6:24:11 AM PDT by eCSMaster ('Nancy Pelosi is a DINGBAT.' - Gov. Sarah Palin)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
After swiping your card
(why steal your own card?)
At the store,
The machine asks, "Is $25.32 OK?"
To which I reply, looking confused
How would I know?
10 posted on 08/24/2012 6:27:35 AM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

DOH!


11 posted on 08/24/2012 6:33:13 AM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Tunak Tunak Tun - Dance Party Friday - Bloomingdale High School

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PftcnRRAg0o

Some of you may remember “Buffalax” versions of obscure videos. Here’s the Buffalaxed “Tunak Tunak Tun”, which inspired the above:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdG_fey4_ow

For those not familiar with “buffalax”, here’s a primer of his best work:

Benny Lava:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxS6bFFhi6g

Indian Thriller
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmLRFIjyfAg

Happy Friday!


12 posted on 08/24/2012 6:34:32 AM PDT by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

13 posted on 08/24/2012 6:36:10 AM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

*** 23 ADULT TRUTHS ***

1. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Is learning cursive really necessary in today’s world?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. [Like when you get there?]

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. [Mine does]

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. [I think they now do.]

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first “helmet” was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. [Ladies.....Quit Laughing.]


14 posted on 08/24/2012 6:37:58 AM PDT by sockhead (Socialism means equality . . . everyone is equally miserable.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen


15 posted on 08/24/2012 6:40:46 AM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

Reminds me of the time I ordered a banana split at Dairy Queen. Instead of the fudge, caramel, and fruit toppings, I asked for only fudge and caramel. Poor drive thru girl got all confused and didn't know how to handle putting two toppings on three scoops of ice cream. The look on her face was similar to this ....


16 posted on 08/24/2012 6:51:05 AM PDT by al_c (http://www.blowoutcongress.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis

17 posted on 08/24/2012 6:53:48 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
YIPPEEEE!!!

18 posted on 08/24/2012 7:00:44 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: P.O.E.

19 posted on 08/24/2012 7:01:41 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: JRios1968
Look at it closely, and apparently they’re in “OIHA”

"Oiha" is a Hawaiian phrase. It means "I was born in Kenya."

20 posted on 08/24/2012 7:02:05 AM PDT by eCSMaster ('Nancy Pelosi is a DINGBAT.' - Gov. Sarah Palin)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-66 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson