Skip to comments.Marriage counslers, (vanity)
Posted on 08/30/2012 6:16:12 PM PDT by MrPiper
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Happy for ya, I’m to old to start again, death is my future....looking forward to it..
See, that's why men aren't as smart as us females. It only took me one time to learn that.
LOL...only kidding, I am happily married...I just never get a chance to post this graphic!
I sat down for this meeting second, after the little Misses had her say first. Me being the gentleman as always. And when it was my turn the wise and wonderful marriage counselor said to me; "She's pretty much fed up with these problems from you, now how are you going to modify your behavior."
For some odd reason, I can't remember much of anything that was said during all the counseling that followed. I was completely stunned that this was being portrayed as a problem I had to overcome.
That marriage didn't last long, by my 25th birthday I was divorced and kind of devastated by it. But I guess the bottom line is lotto, bingo, craps, or marriage counselor, they'll all take your money, but only the counselor is a thief.
There are honest professions like lotto, bingo and craps, and a few others. Me? I pretty much stay on the other side of the street from professional counselors of any stripe.
Compare and contrast the numbers of males and females in jail for child support arrears. The deck is stacked against men in divorce.
None of my exes suffered financially because of the divorce. Neither did my children.
Small sample, but it is my experience.
I beg to differ. I respect my husband. He is a great blessing to the world and to me. He helped to keep our country safe. I’m pretty lucky in that my life is full of *real* heroes. The best part of the whole deal is that my heroes are kind and considerate to me. I hope and pray that y’all either find satisfying relationships or that you recognize the value and joy of a happy life, solitary or not.
I claim testosterone poisoning. It messes with the mind. ;)
I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I feel very bad for you. I wish I could say something that would help, but I know I can’t. All I can say is that my husband of 36 years (ok, I’m fudging, it won’t be 36 years until Monday) would strongly disagree with what you just said.
I cannot, however comment on marriage counselors. Never been to one.
I hope things get better for you.
your husband is a lucky man.
The marraige counselor doesn’t do the work. You both have to. They are not going to fix anything. They can give you some direction, but unless you BOTH want it to work..and let the BS childish crap go...100 counselors won’t help.
It took two trips around that track to actually believe what he was telling me. And it was hard, hard work.
If it was easy.....well, it’s not.
Age is just a state of mind, and nobody said you had to start again...at least not with anyone new. Our lives are what we make of them. Take what time you've got left and try to make yourself happy. I've got health problems, and nobody in my family has lived past 72...so far. I've got one sibling left. She just turned 72. She's an alcoholic, never married, never had kids, and lives in an adult assisted living home. She's the oldest of us four kids, and has outlived my other sister and only brother. She'll probably outlive me too. Wherever I go when I die, all I ask is that they have flavored coffee and books to read, and I'll be happy.
No offense...but maybe you ain’t doing’ it right. 26 years and I say no more often than her. (I hate shaving at night, and the beard it tough.)
J, I know that your experience is the experience of many. Just allow me to reassure you that some females received no monetary support from former spouses—I divorced in a no-fault state, and he didn’t pay me a penny. As a matter of fact, he actually attempted to damage my credit rating. If something’s over, it’s over and I’ll leave without looking back. However, vindictiveness toward a spouse is not limited to females vs. males. Just know that some of us aren’t gamesters who need to attach some guy’s paycheck.
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Miami. ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is terrible. Sodas corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs and chemicals in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?’
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, ‘Wedding Cake.’
To have a wonderful marriage takes respect and love by both parties—you always bring out the BEST in your spouse—but that is the maxim for ALL successful mature relationships.
You have to love yourself (God) so that you can love others. Otherwise, that “need” will destroy any relationship. You BOTH need to grow in knowledge and wisdom-—by learning and doing constructive things together.
Because you live intimately with another person-—makes this love and respect all the more important-—because the spouse has the knowledge to destroy their mate because of their intimacy and lack of secrecy. This vulnerability CAN NEVER be exploited. (That is hate and not love-—or it is stupidity—I could NOT stand to be married either to a “stupid” person).
I just went to the funeral of a Doctor-—married for over 60 years and they were the happiest people-—and the most intellectual-—that I have ever known. They had a fabulous life-—raised daughters-—have grandchildren—traveled around the world. Read the Bible daily.
Why were they the happiest? They grew together-—lost a child-—and were stronger for it because of their belief in God. They treated each other with the upmost respect-—never taking each other for granted. Most important thing to BOTH-—God, first. Then, they were able to love everyone-—see such joy in everything-—even death.
Attitude is everything. People who are pessimists do not truly believe in God. People who are haters and rude-—do not truly believe in God. People who are narcissists-—do not truly believe in God. People who are mean and selfish—do not believe in God.
(They will not be perfect-—so if they do on occasion slip—it should be forgiven-—but if it is a pattern-—there is no belief in God.)
It does not take a rocket scientist to understand that without God a person is never “selfless”—which is necessary for an intimate relationship. There is no happiness and no love without God—because there will be no selflessness. There will always be ulterior, evil motives to use people-—without God.
With God-—an extremely happy marriage is possible==but only with God.
Simply not true.
Have you asked yourself why your marraige really ended. Get the real, deep, honest truth to that....and accept your part of it and you will be on the way to a better life—with or without a woman.
Read the book: Growp up.
You wont like what it says...but he is cheaper than a shrink.
Ive often asked, “what am I doing wrong”results is yelling an screaming,, looking for the rock to climb under....
Mt. P, you need to plant your own garden. Please do things that give you joy and satisfaction. Life can be so beautiful. Going through a difficult period can seem insurmountable (sp?), but with introspection, education (self- or otherwise), and careful thought, you can have a lovely, satisfying life. Also, you have us; just run your next prospective mate past us and we’ll give you the down and dirty bottom line :).
I couldn’t have gotten through difficult periods without my friends. They are a tremendous source of strength. Just reach out—you’ll be surprised at the support you’ll receive.
Mine suits me just fine. My babies grew up well, and tomorrow I'll join my grandson and my daughter for lunch at his school.
Keep moving forward and remember that despair is a sin.
Give your man a reasonably clean house, a decent meal, serious loving, and a little down time to enjoy his favorite activity (besides sex), and he'll crawl over broken glass for you.
Give your wife security, praise, help with chores every once in a while so she can have down time, too, don't bitch about her shoes, and she'll crawl over broken glass for you.
Marry someone who is your mirror: same values, sees problems and obstacles the same way, reacts to surprises the same way, treat each other with respect...life will be peaceful.
Been married to my husand for 19 amazing years. We've come through catastrophic medical issues, borderline backruptcy, natural disasters, 3 energetic kids. Life HAS NOT been easy. But I wouldn't trade a day of it for any other man on the planet. I'd kill for him, die for him, and life without him in it is too horrible to contemplate.
Not every woman is a psycho bitch. Some of us were raised right.
Funny. I liked your post.
I’m very happy for you! Have a grand time tomorrow—you deserve it!
My guess is he’s speaking Jack Daniels.
"You think YOU married a b*tch..."
women, you need to write a book! -
as a guy, that is all it would take for me to crawl over broken glass and beat the crap out of any thug threatening that....
Perhaps people don't recognize that your best mate is your mirror image. Same values, etc. I bet that's the key to the whole issue. Maybe opposites attract--that brings a bunch of conflicts into a relationship. I married my best friend--all the other stuff is gravy.
“Thank you for the link, but my advise stands firm, guys, pay for your sex up front, find a good prostitute and stick with her. do not fall in love, stick to prostitutes!!!!”
What a sad statement.
I think it’s so true, how can you live with someone who doesn’t share your values? My husband is truly my best friend and we agree on most things (and the few things we don’t agree completely on are important things and we can give each other our opinions and be ok with it).
We have so much fun together that neither of us particularly enjoys doing things apart. Of course we do spend time apart, but we both always can’t wait to share it with the other.
Very true. Some men just aren't meant to be married. I won't share my kitchen, and these days I wouldn't have anyone try to clean my house. I know where everything is, thankyouverymuch. Or at least which pile it's in.
No point in inflicting an innocent by looking for marriage again. ;)
We’re pretty lucky and very blessed, aren’t we? :)
Lol! Anyone who’d ask to share your kitchen would have to be nuts! However, I’m the cleanup crew at our house, so we make room for each other in the kitchen between tasks. (He’s a better cook than I.) I also vacuum and mop around the various inhabitants here. The whole point is to have fun and enjoy! I’m certain that you give much joy to your friends and family.
You're a sad case. Prostitution is wrong, prostitutes are victimized every single hour of every single day. Children are sold into prostitution in places like Thailand and other places around the world. Predators and pedophiles agree with your statement.
No wonder your marriage fell apart.
Good to see an old friend I haven't seen in forever. I miss ATRW.
only the few I have lived with, lucky me,
what's for supper dear,?
you got eyes, look in the freezer, I'm not hungry !
Please see post 73, she has it figured out, un like my ex....
(try Googling it and then filtering out the hedonists and pick-up artists and one-night-stand types.)
Men have abandoned masculinity.
You don't have the patent on crazy. I seem to attract them.
What I do, though is up to me. My happiness is my concern. I'm responsible for that, no-one else.
Keeping my pants zipped, and having a relationship with God works well for me.
mister, I'm not talking about sex with kids, if I can find a happy, healthy 40 yr old hooker, I'm a happy camper.compared to my scrounge of a ex-wife that thought sex was for teenagers!!
At a minimum, they would have to be very good, and very fast with large knives. I use the Klingon management style when in the kitchen. ;)
And *that* is the key. Feminism has poisoned the very minds and hearts of most American women.
And the men, in teaching them to act like this:
(Women would crawl over broken glass to get *away* from that: they crave a man who will *be* a man, and give them something to cling to in this world, someone worthy of looking up to.)
I have been so blessed, yes, and you have been too, it seems. I wish I could give everyone the secret because I wish everyone could have a long and happy marriage.
does such a thing exist? I'm not kidding, never heard of one,
Not all of us, old feller. ;)
interesting , all my ex wanted to know was how much my pay check was that week .....
Actually, nobody gets in my way when I brandish sharp things. I specialized in esoteric Chinese weapons for two years back in the day (giggle). I demolished ceiling tiles, glass fixtures, outdoor shed roofs (rooves?) while in training. Mr. Sg is so great in the kitchen that I try not to endanger him or any other member of the household.
Have fun tomorrow!
I don’t know, my parents had 50 years before she passed away, my inlaws were a little over 50 before they died 2 days apart, my husband and I are going great at 36 years (on Monday). I know of other couples. Are those not long, or do you doubt they are happy? Or do you seek perfection? I agree perfection does not exist. Marriage, like anything, is work. I don’t always get my way. Neither does my husband. But because we love each other and our MARRIAGE is more important than anything else we want, we get over it.
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