Posted on 08/31/2012 8:44:34 AM PDT by Never on my watch
As a result of the Mathews/Madow report of inquiry into the presence of Clint Eastwood at the Republican National Convention (dated August 31, 2012), The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) and Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science (AMPAS) stated that they have stripped Actor/Director Clint Eastwood of his Academy Awards and banned him from the motion picture industry for life. Continued below...
Additional sanctions also include a four-year ban of any theatrical release of any movie starring, directed by, or produced by Clint Eastwood. After four years his pictures may be released with a XXX MPAA rating. He is also banned from any film festival or public appearance at motion picture related events.
The Wikipedia record of Eastwood’s career will be amended to remove all Oscar awards and nominations. In addition, the MPAA and MPAS reserve the right to impose additional sanctions on involved individuals at the conclusion of any further investigation. Mr. Eastwood clearly has knowledge of others in the industry sympathetic to the Republican Party, and we expect Mr. Eastwood to disclose those names immediately or he will be held in contempt of Liberalism. His disclosure of the political leanings of Mr. Jon Voight demonstrates a willingness on the part of Mr. Eastwood to cooperate. Mr. Voight is currently under investigation on similar charges.
Among the offenses that led to Mr. Eastwood’s sanctions:
•Mocking a sitting Democrat President by speaking to an empty chair.
•Mocking a sitting Democrat Vice President, by alleging that Biden was the brains of the administration.
•Traveling to an area densely populated by Republicans without prior disclosure to the MPAA or AMPAS.
•Speaking publically of President Obama in a manner inconsistent with Hollywood doctrine.
•Heresy
As a result, the MPAA imposed a $60 million sanction on the Mr. Eastwood’s production company, which is equivalent to the average gross annual revenue of his movies. These funds must be paid into an endowment for external programs preventing private gun ownership.
Note: Some consideration is being made to potentially release Clint Eastwood films which are sympathetic to liberal causes like “Million Dollar Baby” which promotes euthanasia. In such a case, any proceeds for that film will go to the Hemlock Society.
Respectfully submitted... I hope you enjoy.
Is this satire?
Thank you for the SATIRE warning. Based on news the past three and a half years, this does sound like something that could happen.
I heard that obamma called Clint last night and asked him to...PLAY MISTY FOR ME...
Maybe soon it won't be...
I have read some satire pieces here before that were not clearly marked and they were too close to the truth. Kind of annoying, that.
I'll bet an OWS-type shat on it already.
>> [unmarked satire] too close to the truth. Kind of annoying, that.
Yeah, but for those of us who really APPRECIATE good satire, that’s the best kind!
Sure, for a minute you want to flay the author alive and roll him in salt... then you laugh respectfully and meditate on the point he made and life is good again.
...until the *next time* the clever bastid sets you up... :-)
Tested positive for government performance enhancing drugs
You forgot that Clint was asked to leave LA.
Clint did yeoman duty on stage, in skewering the Current Occupant, and showing him up in a light similar to that which Gary Trudeau does to just about every Republican figure EVERY DAY in the Doonesbury strip.
The Won has been regarded as untouchable, but he puts his pantz on one leg at a time, just like Robert Torricelli and Dan Rostenkowski, two former stars of the Democrat party, who were turned out of office after being touched by scandals so huge even the other Democrats couldn’t stand.
It might not be possible any longer to portray any criticism of the “Kenyan” as racist.
Not that meme won’t still be tried again and again, but they have cried “Wolf!!!” a few too many times, and totally diluted its force or meaning.
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