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So I Saw "The Expendables 2" Today...
9/3/12 | RightOnline

Posted on 09/03/2012 6:23:31 PM PDT by RightOnline

OK....a rainy day; decided to go see "The Expendables 2" today with my lady friend and my son. Just thought, for those who haven't seen it and are maybe thinking about it, I'd drop a thought or two here.

First, if you haven't seen the original..."The Expendables"...get it on Netflix or rent the DVD. This one won't make much sense, really, unless you see it in the context of the first movie. The films' plots have zip to do with each other, but the characters, etc. need to be understood first.

It opens with a serious 'bang'....literally. Very violent, VERY fast paced, lots of shoot-'em-up, explosions, bad guys' heads being blown off (literally), lots of blood splattering. Overall, a lot of fun. :)

It slows down a bit to set up the film's premise, introduce a couple of new characters, etc. Let's just say I never got the Chinese girl; no clue who she was supposed to be, why she gets attached to the crew (forcibly), etc. Terrible character development. The other new member of the team was eminently likeable...but I'll say no more to avoid giving away too much.

You have, as in the original, a virtual pantheon of film action heroes....Stallone (most prominent; co-wrote the movie), Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis (playing parodies of themselves; they could have and should have phoned it in), Jason Statham (a real badass, when they LET him be one), Jet Li (disappointingly little screen time; always awesome to see), Dolph Lundgren (who was even spacier in this film than the first), Randy Couture (a real-life badass who says, does VERY little here), Terry Crews (remember the huge black dude in Sandler's remake of "The Longest Yard" that loved McDonald's burgers? That guy....and he's even bigger now)....and even Chuck Norris pops in and out (and much as I love the guy and admire his real skills....my God what a wimpy voice for such an ass-kicker).

The bad guy is gamely played by Jean-Claude Van Damme. I hated him. Good sign there; he can play a bad guy quite convincingly. Great job with what he was given to work with (horrible syntax....let is slide).

Overall, much as I seem to be taking potshots....one hell of a fun ride; a great popcorn movie. The "R" rating is clearly for the violence; no nudity, very little to almost no foul language. The guys clearly had fun making this (as they did the first one). It's also crystal clear that Sly Stallone is the king of the pack, NO doubt. Not just in the script....you can see it in the interaction with the others. He's the big dog....not Arnold.

There are a LOT of gags in the film....obvious references to each others' more famous film roles, etc., etc....they break the glass wall continuously, but you don't care since they pull it off....damned funny, too. That's quite a feat, since usually I find that kind of thing self-serving and annoying. Not here, and I really can't even say why.....just that they can be funny as hell.

No one takes the film or themselves too seriously, and you shouldn't, either. Just check your brain at the door, get a large buttered popcorn and a huge soda, and park your carcass in that big, thick, semi-reclining chair....and have a blast.

A fun ride, worth the $$$ and the time. Definitely recommend.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Music/Entertainment; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: action; explosions; heroes; hollywood; moviereview; violence

1 posted on 09/03/2012 6:23:38 PM PDT by RightOnline
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To: RightOnline

I liked it but I felt like Arnold and Chuck could have been written into the plot a little better... a lot better honestly.


2 posted on 09/03/2012 6:29:36 PM PDT by RC one
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To: RC one

Especially Chuck....agree on that one. Seems like he was an afterthought, really. Arnold is too old for this stuff any more and it showed (and he basically admits it in the film). Despite the fact that Stallone is also well into his 60’s....he’s still in amazing shape; can put actors 40 years his junior to shame in such roles.


3 posted on 09/03/2012 6:33:14 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: RightOnline

what about Chuck? he’s 72 years old! I need to buy a bowflex!


4 posted on 09/03/2012 6:36:15 PM PDT by RC one
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To: RightOnline
Terry Crews (remember the huge black dude in Sandler's remake of "The Longest Yard" that loved McDonald's burgers? That guy....and he's even bigger now)

President Camacho!

President Camacho

5 posted on 09/03/2012 6:40:08 PM PDT by America_Right (Remember, Republicans have a lot more in common with Democrats than they do with Tea Partiers.)
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To: RightOnline

I liked what happened to Van Damme at the end. I thought it was very appropriate.


6 posted on 09/03/2012 6:40:26 PM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: RC one

Better make it a Total Gym....that’s what he has endorsed for years. :)


7 posted on 09/03/2012 6:45:19 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: RightOnline

Thanks for that review.
I sometimes enjoy an action-packed movie that I know I will forget about completely within 24 hours of seeing it.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with some silly escapist fare every once in a while.

FRegards,
LH


8 posted on 09/03/2012 6:46:03 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: RC one

“what about Chuck? he’s 72 years old! I need to buy a bowflex!”

Every piece of furniture Chuck Norris’s house is a Total Gym.
-”The Truth About Chuck Norris”
by Ian Spector


9 posted on 09/03/2012 6:47:04 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

...and sharks have a “Chuck Norris Week”.


10 posted on 09/03/2012 6:50:04 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: Lancey Howard

You’re very welcome......you’ll enjoy the flick, NO doubt. :)


11 posted on 09/03/2012 6:52:32 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

Other quotes from the book...

The symbol for Chuck Norris in sign language is a middle finger on fire.

If you stare at the American flag long enough, a 3D image of Chuck Norris pops up.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds till what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris can turn back time simply by staring at the clock and flexing.

At Chuck Norris’s bachelor party, he ate the entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris can make the Kessel Run in less than ten parsecs.

When Chuck Norris was denied a McGriddle at McDonald’s because it was 10:35am, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.


12 posted on 09/03/2012 6:53:54 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: RightOnline

Let me add this about Jet Li’s (sadly brief) role in the opening sequence......I’ll never look at cookware the same again.


13 posted on 09/03/2012 6:53:54 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

Love it.....literally LOL stuff. :) I hear Chuck loves these, too. Dude has a great sense of humor (thank God, right....).


14 posted on 09/03/2012 6:58:06 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: RC one

Even though chuck wasn’t in it much, I thought he stole the show.


15 posted on 09/03/2012 7:35:42 PM PDT by pjd
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To: RightOnline
"Lawless"

as long as we are doing movie reviews, go see Lawless. pretty damn good. the lead brother Forest absolutely channels Paul Newman, in a good way. I always love Guy Pearce, and he is the badest of the bad asses in this one. All in all, another popcorn and drink must go.

thanks for the Expendables II review Loved the first one so I guess i gotta see this one as well.

16 posted on 09/03/2012 7:57:45 PM PDT by beebuster2000
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To: RightOnline

Tangent: JCVD was good in “Assassination Games”. Very dramatic, extremely gritty.


17 posted on 09/03/2012 8:07:06 PM PDT by ctdonath2 ($1 meals: http://abuckaplate.blogspot.com)
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To: RC one
I liked it but I felt like Arnold and Chuck could have been written into the plot a little better... a lot better honestly.

LOL...I do not think you could have given Chuck a better or funnier part....now better acting???....even then I did not care. Just good fun.

18 posted on 09/03/2012 8:08:40 PM PDT by Lady Heron
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To: beebuster2000

ALMOST went to see “Lawless”....but we opted for this one instead. Sounds like another to go see.....appreciate the heads up!


19 posted on 09/03/2012 8:12:24 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: Lady Heron

Agree 100%. They grossly overdid the “Lone Wolf McQuade” references....but what the hell, as we both noted...it was good fun. :)


20 posted on 09/03/2012 8:17:18 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: Lady Heron

Forgot to mention....and no plot spoiler here....in light of Clint Eastwood’s RNC appearance, it was SO funny to me (even though this movie was in the can LONG before the convention) that every time Chuck appeared, they played that famous “The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly” theme. It fit, even though it was an Eastwood thing vs. a Norris thing....and no one cared. Got laughs from the audience every time. :)


21 posted on 09/03/2012 8:20:56 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: RightOnline

He even told a Chuck Norris joke during the movie.


22 posted on 09/03/2012 8:28:12 PM PDT by Stonewall Jackson ("I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy.")
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To: RightOnline

Thanks for the review. Sounds like a fun movie to see.


23 posted on 09/03/2012 9:49:13 PM PDT by Isabel C.
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