Skip to comments.School District Bans Father-Daughter Dances After Single Mom Complains
Posted on 09/19/2012 5:15:08 PM PDT by sirchtruth
In an effort to comply with state laws about gender discrimination, a Rhode Island school district has banned father-daughter dances and mother-son baseball games after a single mom complained that her daughter wasn't able to attend a dance.
(Excerpt) Read more at shine.yahoo.com ...
I’m offended by all these offended people. Lets ban being offended.
Only a bad mother would selfishly spoil this experience for other children, because her daughter will definitely suffer for it. She will be forever tarred by her mother’s actions.
I have seen this story before, and really do not know what the issue is.
My elementary school years were in the ‘50, no dad in the picture, when our school had a father daughter dance, my best friends father took us both.
I remember like it was yesterday, he held both our hands and walked in telling us he was a lucky dad, to have two daughters that night.
This woman had no men in her life? A brother, grandfather, older brother, uncle, friend.....who could have taken the little girl?
Isn't awesome that now all the other kids get to suffer for this POS' life choices?
...when stupid laws are passed because of someone’s “feelings” that person should be publicly introduced.....The ACLU could make up any complaint and threaten any town with anything. Small towns can not afford legal action, so they ride rough shot over them.
I’m tired of people being able to sue for anything that “upsets” them. Start identifying them!
Tough crap. Maybe mom should have stayed married to dad. Or maybe grandpa cpor an uncle can take her instead. Geez. Schools operate on zero intelligence policies nowadays.
I bet the mother is a real piece of work. Probably a good reason she is single.
Wonder who SHE will vote for. Hmmmmm.
I’m going out on a limb here — contrary to my usual conservative opinions. I think the whole idea of father/daughter and mother/son activities in school is stupid. We never had those when I was a kid and never had them when my kids were kids either. I come from an intact family, and my own family is intact. But, considering the number of kids who have no fathers present, for one reason or another, I think that there is too much room for hurt feelings for this to be a school activity.
With a 50% divorce rate and many single moms in society today, what are their kids supposed to do? This reminds me of Nathanial Hawthorne’s Scarlet Letter. And how about all the kids in military towns whose fathers are deployed overseas?
My own father survived polio as a small child and walked with a limp the rest of his life which embarrassed him in public. He would never have taken me to a dance, although he did everything else for me.
I can’t believe all the fuss the newscasters are making about this on TV today.
Can’t she go find a new Baby-Dadddy for the week of the dance?? Or is she afraid that New Baby-Daddy will become Grandbaby-Daddy?
Anything to avoid talking about the ongoing Baraqqi Depression and the 16 trillion in debt.....
"The school district recognized that in the 21st century, public schools have no business fostering the notion that girls prefer to go to formal dances while boys prefer baseball games," the statement read. "PTOs remain free to hold family dances and other events, but the time has long since passed for public school resources to encourage stereotyping from the days of Ozzie and Harriet. Not every girl today is interested in growing up to be Cinderella -- not even in Cranston."
This ACLU dork, Brown is a complete asshat! What a smarmy dork! It's almost as if these ACLU gov't prix HATE "tradition," especially if it's American!
I agree - we should never waste time on frivolous activities.
I wonder if it has to do with sexual preference...or, oh wait, genes?
When I was in high school, there were mother and daughter tea parties. Those were probably banned long ago.
So one slut is embarrassed, and everyone else has to suffer. ‘Aint that America, home of the free, little slut Napoleons for you and me.
Well not when the test scores in our schools lag so far behind Europe and Asia! Surely there are fun activities that could be proposed that are INCLUSIVE!
These dances sound like something the Mothers' Club thought up and didn't think all the way through. It reminds me of my daughter's 6th grade graduation where the graduating kids were introduced according to the length of time they had attended the school, i.e. those who started there in Kindergarten got more acclaim than those who started there in 5th grade. Stupid!
I hope they cancel parents day, so as not to offend orphans.
So where is Dad?
Kind of hard to dance with a test tube or a turkey baster!
Stupid mother...I never got to go to a father-daughter function, but my dad hurt me. My mother going out and tromping on others would have been a total embarrassment and would have disgusted me, as it does now. Just because my dad was a loser doesn’t mean the mother has to follow suit and multiply the emotional disaster. Stupid mother...wonder why father left?
That’s what I thought. Maybe it’s a two mommies situation.
Make schools illegal, they offend the childless.
Better yet, make these professional self centered whining eternal victims illegal, they offend those of us with a life.
How about all fathers in the school district stop paying their taxes.
If the daughter had gone alone, I have no doubt that all the other fathers there would have taken turns dancing with her. There are still gentlemen in the world.
These are crazy times my friends!
I can count on no hands how many men are going to complain about our “mom prom”. I teach at an all boys Marionist high school in St. Louis and we have a spring dance where the boys bring their moms to the school dance.
There are all sorts of after school functions that help foster a sense of community, and attempt to welcome and encourage parental presence and involvement in their child's public school.
For the record, I am a single parent.
One of the things I taught my own child was to refrain from taking personal offense, where none exists.
Part of participating in our society, is learning how to gracefully react when you don't quite “fit in”, or don't wish to participate in any given activity to which you are invited.
Just simply say “No, thanks”, “I can't attend”,or “My mom said no”. No further explanation is required.
If someone is rude enough to press for details, feel free to be slightly less than polite in continuing to refuse to explain, or you can choose to explain to the level you are comfortable.
Use your own best judgement.
If all else fails, tell me, and I WILL handle the adults, and talk you through possible options to deal with your peers.
afraidfortherepublic, I think all this “fuss” is important.
Who stands against the tyranny of the minority?(Hint-Don’t ask Muslims in Islamic nations, if they answer honestly, they might be killed)
The ACLU seems to prefer our society be conditioned to sit down and shut up on the mere whims or threats of an ACLU lawsuit.
I prefer we shut down the manipulative and frivolous lawsuits of the ACLU.
I agree with you on the ACLU, but I don’t agree on the rest of it. In the first place, I see no reason for these “dances”. Generally the daughters are pre-pubescent and have no business at a dance in the first place. If they were teens, they wouldn’t want to be caught dead at a dance with their fathers! Ah, the humiliation of not having a real “date”.
No, I think this is an excuse for the moms to spend a lot of money on a dancing frock and to show off their little darling in front of the other parents.
As you say, there are lots of other opportunities for the kids to do things with their parents that are not quite so restrictive. Cub Scout Blue and Gold Dinners, for one. Either parent can accompany the child, and siblings are welcome too. I’m sure the Girl Scouts have somethng similar.
I remember father/daughter banquets in my childhood and teens. Nobody had to dance, and a father could bring the neighbor’s child if requested. It wasn’t a “pairing up” affair. I remember when the Scouts organized a father/son canoe trip down the Russian River one year. A neighbor’s father was not physically well enough to make the trip, and my husband took both boys.
Mother/daughter teas are a little different because most kids have a mother in the picture. But, these days there are moms who couldn’t participate because they have to work. In that case, a friend could accompany the child, thus providing the child with the experience without standing out like a sore thumb.
As I said, I came from an intact family and I was lucky to have a husband to help me raise our 4 kids, but I would never want to put a child from a single parent family through the uncomfortable experience of feeling excluded from an event that is so silly in the greater scheme of life (but so important in their eyes).
This mother is teaching her kid that the whole world revolves around her, and anytime she can’t do something, nobody else should be able to do it, either. Well, then, let’s eliminate sports teams, talent shows and spelling bees, since not everybody has the ability to compete in them!
They were talking about this on the radio this morning, and one woman caller said she and her four sisters lost their dad at an early age, but they would never have demanded that father/daughter dances be banned. Life dealt them a certain hand, and it was sad, but they wouldn’t take it out on others.
This incident could have been a chance for the mother in the story to sit down with her daughter and teach her about life and character. Sadly, she chose to give her daughter a totally different message, and probably made the girl very unpopular with her peers while she was at it.
How very nice of you.../sarcasm//
Perhaps you think your heart is in the right place, but it would be better for all if you also engaged your mind.
As a single parent, I tend to live in a world you don't seem to grasp.
My lifestyle is not ideal, and we do the best we can with what we have. I do not owe anyone an apology or an explanation.
I suppose it may shock you to learn that your idea of “compassion” is extremely offensive to me, as a single parent.
I certainly don't want my daughter to think of our alternative lifestyle as the best route to take when deciding who to marry, and how to raise children.
No, we don't walk around in shame with Scarlett letters on our clothes bemoaning our lives.
We often talk about why seemingly simple choices matter so very much for future chances of happiness.
My child wants to find a man she loves and can share her entire life with.A 50th wedding anniversary is a very good thing, in her opinion.She dreams of being a stay at home mom, with a home based part-time business, and a large extended family and circle of friends.
BTW, when she is eventually elected head of her children's school PTA, there will be father daughter dances, mother son sports activities, and plenty of other options for parents to spend a little time with their children's peers and other parents.
Remind me never to show you any consideration in the future. I guess all of those years I spent "covering" for the career moms and the single moms when I was "room mother" and "block parent" and Cub Scout leader and Camp Fire Girl leader and "band booster parent" and drove the cross country team 500 miles to meets and "cookie baker" and "cupcake provider" and car pool driver and PTO fund raiser and Prom chaperone were all wasted.
I always wondered if the carefree career women and single women who left their kids on my doorstep were laughing at me behind my back.
Now I know that it was true.
bet i know why she’s single...
I doubt multitudes willingly left their children to your tender care. I know for a fact that I didn't.
As for any other mother laughing at you “behind your back”, well that would depend on what your attitude regarding your “volunteer work” was at the time.
I think it's wonderfull that you spent large amounts of time directly involved in your own children's activities at school and with their various “clubs” and sports!
How horribly rude of me not to be eternally gratefull to you for your selfless dedication to your own children's interests!
I guess my cookies and cupcakes were never as good as yours, since I baked them late at night whenever it was my turn to supply them.
You have never “covered” me or my child in any way. And I have never asked you to do so.
I don't care about public school bands, cross country teams, Camp Fire Girls, car pools, block parents etc. My small family is not involved in any of those activities.
Because I don't actively support them, does not mean I would ever support ANY attempts to ban them, just because some other child's “feelings” might be bruised.
he communiy should get toethr and do it anyway.