[Pharmboy]

Thank you all in advance.

[RegulatorCountry]

Pert' near but not plumb (almost but not quite), Appalachian foothills, North Carolina.

[Qwackertoo]

From My old Great-Uncle in Texas who was an oilman who made it big and lost it big . . . both several times . . . with just a 3rd grade education . . . he was orphaned at a very young age.

I’m as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs.

I loved listening to old stories from him (his name was Uncle Sam) and my grandfather.

[familyop]

From the Ozarks:

“Slicker’n greased owl s***.”

“Sharper’n a mouse turd tapered on both ends.”

[familyop]

“Nervous as a whore in church.”

[Black Agnes]

‘like a monkey peeing on a cash register, sooner or later it runs into money’ (discussing money losing businesses or other enterprises...)

my dad, south MS.

[DiogenesLamp]

“Jumpier than a one legged man in a roach stomping contest. “

[yarddog]

Not funny but I always thought it interesting that my Mother never said “it rained”. She would say “it came up a cloud”.

She war born and reared in Florida within sight of the Alabama line.

[ssaftler]

“If frogs had wings, their a$$es wouldn’t hit the ground when they jumped”

[Panzerlied]

“Boy, you’re dumber than a Buick engineer” from my dad, who was a foreman at BuicK.

[BillT]

Slicker than snot on a door knob! WA State

[CrazyIvan]

From my grandpa:
“Uglier than a mud fence. “

“Use your head for somethin’ besides a hat rack. “

(While following a very large woman in pants) “looks like two hogs fightin’ in a gunny sack. “

[Black Agnes]

‘if otters (oughta’s) were beavers we’d all be wearing fur coats’. my great aunt who died last spring age 99.5yrs. south MS.

[DiogenesLamp]

This one is from a Friend from Wisconsin. (referring to getting drunk)

“F***ED up like a test rat.”

[yarddog]

One that everyone used when I was a kid but haven’t heard in a long time: “uglier than home made sin”.

[georgiabelle]

Six of one half a dozen of another.

Those are the kind of folks you just pass and repass with. In other words throw up your hand at them and keep on walking.

My grandmother. North Ga

[KittenClaws]

Usually a threat of sorts; Honey, you do and I’ll be all over you like:

. . .a duck on a june-bug

. . .like ugly on ape

Courtesy of my Mom, born and bred in West Texas.

[DiogenesLamp]

So Stupid that “They couldn’t pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.”

[READINABLUESTATE]

Whoa! If he/she ever had to haul-ass they’d have to make two trips!

[Revolting cat!]

"Nekkid like a intern at the White House" (North Alaska saying.)

[2nd Bn, 11th Mar]

Pole vaulting over mouse turds. (Midwest)

She was built like she’d been shot in the back with a coupla Zuni rockets. (Republic of South Vietnam)