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Why I Eloped And you should, too.
Slate ^ | September 20, 2012 | Torie Bosch

Posted on 09/26/2012 11:20:45 AM PDT by C19fan

When I recently called my mother to tell her that I was getting married, she was ecstatic. After all, my boyfriend, Chris, and I had been together for nearly 10 years, so he had long been part of the family. “When’s the big day?” she asked me. “In about 20 minutes!” I said, trying to sound perky instead of scared. Though we had decided to get married a few weeks prior, we told almost no one beforehand—not even our parents. And now, we were standing just outside the office of the man who would perform the ceremony.

.....................................................

I love a good wedding just as I love any party with an open bar and “The Electric Slide.” But unless you are wealthy, come from a family that has never known strife, enjoy giving up an entire year of your life to planning, and can smile in the face of any possible wedding disaster (and mean it, not just for pictures), you should elope. That’s because weddings—even small-scale ones—are more pageant than sincerity.

(Excerpt) Read more at slate.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: elopment; marriage
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I like to read Victorian literature and weddings were much simpler back then. You went to the church in the morning, got married then had a "wedding breakfast" with the party and off to the honeymoon, if you could afford one. With all these young people deep in debt perhaps the money would be better spent helping the newlyweds set up a new household.
1 posted on 09/26/2012 11:20:48 AM PDT by C19fan
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To: C19fan

My wife and I had a notary-friend and her husband join us for a dinner celebration at a local restaurant. We rented out one of their banquet rooms and had a little civil ceremony with candle lighting and all the usual stuff in a wedding.

It cost us just a little over $1,000 for the whole shebang. The down payment we fronted for a reception at a local golf resort was $1,000 alone.

My wife said it best: “I want a marriage not a wedding.”


2 posted on 09/26/2012 11:24:07 AM PDT by rarestia (It's time to water the Tree of Liberty.)
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To: C19fan

That’s because weddings—even small-scale ones—are more pageant than sincerity.
///
if they’ve been living together, for TEN YEARS,
then i agree.
-
but, i know people who did NOT live together.
and their wedding was much more than pageantry.
(and, their wedding are much more likely to be permanent.)


3 posted on 09/26/2012 11:25:05 AM PDT by Elendur (It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: C19fan
My wife and I got married in Los Vegas (pre-planned, of course). Not counting the flights, which I'm putting under the Honeymoon column, the whole wedding cost under $300.00, including license, ceremony, and dinner + a bottle of Moet afterwards.

Definitely beats $25k of debt and a year of stress.

4 posted on 09/26/2012 11:26:52 AM PDT by billakay
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To: C19fan

The mystique of these huge, lavish weddings has always eluded me. When I got married it was at the minister’s house, I wore a fancy dress of the bride’s, it was over in fifteen minutes. My folks were there, we had a toast, and off I went to work. (I was a casino band leader, so we celebrated at my gig.)

These big affairs really scare me.


5 posted on 09/26/2012 11:27:01 AM PDT by EggsAckley ("There's an Ethiopian in the fuel supply!")
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To: C19fan

I have seen weddings lead to more divorces than anything else


6 posted on 09/26/2012 11:29:11 AM PDT by Mr. K ("The only thing the World would hate more than the USA in charge is the USA NOT in charge")
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To: C19fan
I like to read Victorian literature and weddings were much simpler back then

Maybe because it was Holy Matrimony rather than shackup-deluxe edition or "lets see if this works out for the short-term"

There is no rule stating there has to be a reception or lavish party. The Sacrament is what it is all about.

7 posted on 09/26/2012 11:30:00 AM PDT by frogjerk (OBAMA NOV 2012 = HORSEMEAT)
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To: Mr. K
wc fields Pictures, Images and Photos

FIELDS: "Good one."

8 posted on 09/26/2012 11:35:11 AM PDT by frogjerk (OBAMA NOV 2012 = HORSEMEAT)
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To: Elendur

Exactly...when did it become normal?
My son is serious about a real sweetie he met in our church.
They are both Roman Catholic and will be married in a church, no question...
but I hate my husband’s family for the most part so I’m thinking a “destination wedding” to the Vatican is in order so no one else can come!!!!
Mean, I know....don’t care.


9 posted on 09/26/2012 11:35:47 AM PDT by matginzac
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To: C19fan

My husband and I got married in a desert park north of Phoenix. We had chili and beer for the reception. I think the entire wedding cost us $500, including the rings. We wanted something simple and fun. The inexpensive part was because we had no money. It must have been memorable because people talked about it for years.

When our daughter got married, we kept reminding the kids it’s about the marriage. The wedding is a ceremony to proclaim and bless the marriage in front of witnesses. They spent a bit more money on theirs, but not too much. It was truly a blessed day.


10 posted on 09/26/2012 11:38:08 AM PDT by stansblugrassgrl (PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE AMMUNITION!!! YEEEEEHAW!)
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To: matginzac
"My son is serious about a real sweetie he met in our church. They are both Roman Catholic..."

That last statement can be inferred. It would odd if they met in Church and she was a Lutheran! :)

11 posted on 09/26/2012 11:41:34 AM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard
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To: C19fan

30 years ago:

We had the wedding and reception at the church we both attended. My mother in law sewed my wife’s dress. My wife and her sister sewed the bridesmaid’s dresses. The photographer was a friend of the family who did it as a gift. That left the wedding cake, tuxedos, and rehearsal dinner as the greatest expenses. Working through how to pay for all this and still have enough to set up an apartment for both of us was good practice for later.

We got through all of it on the strength of the two and a half years of practice deciding things together leading up to the wedding. After all this, we had our first kiss and spent more on the honeymoon than the wedding. All those $100 bills handed to my wife by her father’s family changed that simple honeymoon to something lavish.


12 posted on 09/26/2012 11:42:12 AM PDT by Ingtar (Everyone complains about the weather, but only Liberals try to legislate it.)
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To: Wyrd bið ful aræd

Sorry...needed to be more clear, I guess...yes, both met in our Parish church which is Roman Catholic...hence the trip to the Vatican, I HOPE!


13 posted on 09/26/2012 11:43:51 AM PDT by matginzac
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To: C19fan

I would recommend a destination wedding in Las Vegas. Find a Christian minister for about $150, have the ceremony at one of the alcoves along the strip in front of the Belagio, and have the reception in your suite at one of the hotels with a cake and ready to eat food that can be purchased at the local Costco.

In fact, Costco once had an article on its site about catering your reception with Costco. Get a larger suite for the wedding day for the reception and move to a smaller one for the rest of the Honeymoon. If the bride gets a very nice white evening or cocktail dress, the entire expense should be about $3,000, including airfare for the couple and hotel for 5-6 days. Friends and family can pay their own way and make it a vacation.


14 posted on 09/26/2012 11:44:06 AM PDT by SeaHawkFan
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To: billakay
1983

Our church volunteered the fellowship hall after the upstairs wedding.

We had all you can eat spaghetti with meatballs, salad, cake, pie and candy/cookies, jello/coolwhip pink and green stuff (I don't know what you call it, but it's loaded with crap good) made by the ladies, home made bread and cows butter.

We drank koolaid (go 'head ... I can take the jokes), coffee, someone provided a few cases of generic cola and I think someone made some tea.


Our bill was about 300 bucks also.

15 posted on 09/26/2012 11:44:33 AM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
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To: matginzac

Oh no, not at all. I was merely cracking a lame joke.


16 posted on 09/26/2012 11:45:34 AM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard
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To: EggsAckley
I wore a fancy dress of the bride’s

What?

17 posted on 09/26/2012 11:46:21 AM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: billakay
PS

We had about 50 or 60 guests ... all church family and blood relatives.

Our church is our friend base as well as church family.

18 posted on 09/26/2012 11:46:33 AM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
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To: knarf

We usually called it “green stuff”. :)


19 posted on 09/26/2012 11:47:31 AM PDT by Ingtar (Everyone complains about the weather, but only Liberals try to legislate it.)
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To: Wyrd bið ful aræd

Oh, I get it...the doggone computer is a difficult medium to pick up emotion on...made the same mistake myself on FR earlier today...


20 posted on 09/26/2012 11:47:42 AM PDT by matginzac
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