Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

Posted on 09/28/2012 6:05:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Just some random silliness today folks...



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: friday; ofst; silliness
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-100101-132 next last

And now for silly animals:














1 posted on 09/28/2012 6:05:06 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

I feel like number two today.


2 posted on 09/28/2012 6:06:24 AM PDT by ClearCase_guy (ua)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

Where did my friends go?

CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST



3 posted on 09/28/2012 6:07:21 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Siday Frilliness!!!!!

NOTE: Nobody cares when you got here. We’re just glad you’re here.


4 posted on 09/28/2012 6:11:06 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Top 5 finally


5 posted on 09/28/2012 6:11:12 AM PDT by verga (Forced to remove tag line by administrator)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
TOP TEN!!!!!!
6 posted on 09/28/2012 6:11:20 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Top 10?


7 posted on 09/28/2012 6:11:50 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Obama likes to claim credit for getting Osama. Why hasn't he tried Khalid Sheikh Mohammed yet?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: a fool in paradise

It’ll be a good weekend


8 posted on 09/28/2012 6:12:34 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Obama likes to claim credit for getting Osama. Why hasn't he tried Khalid Sheikh Mohammed yet?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

I think we should declare today Doonerism Spay.


9 posted on 09/28/2012 6:12:48 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Do you have a pet ?

No. There is a pet that has me.

Top ten ?


10 posted on 09/28/2012 6:13:21 AM PDT by maine yankee (I got my Governor at 'Marden's')
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

In before #10?

Great pictures on the intro.


11 posted on 09/28/2012 6:13:32 AM PDT by exit82 (Pass the word: Obama is a FAILURE!! Democrats are the enemies of freedom!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus’s birthday as a bit if
a treat.

I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn’t featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, took the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect...


12 posted on 09/28/2012 6:13:34 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Have a good weekend all!
13 posted on 09/28/2012 6:14:10 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

TOP 20!


14 posted on 09/28/2012 6:14:50 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I don't mind if you smoke in my house. Just don't exhale.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

15 posted on 09/28/2012 6:15:03 AM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

Speaking of Spoonerisms:

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.


16 posted on 09/28/2012 6:16:43 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: exit82
This man had what he thought was the best tattoo in the world...

Until he went to prison.
17 posted on 09/28/2012 6:16:43 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

The Charles Schulz Philosophy
(Scroll through slowly and read carefully to receive and enjoy full effect.)

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip.
You don’t have to actually answer the questions.
Just ponder on them.
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Sydney to Hobart winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss Universe pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last five movies to win the Academy Award for best picture.

How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers.
They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies..
Awards tarnish..
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz.
See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?
The lesson:
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money...or the most awards. They simply are the ones who care the most

Pass this on to those people who have either made a difference in your life, Or whom you keep close in your heart, like I did. ‘Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia! ‘

‘’Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!”


18 posted on 09/28/2012 6:18:15 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

Reverend Spooner was reported to have come across a couple smooching in a boat.

What he MEANT to say was “Punts are not for kissing in.”


19 posted on 09/28/2012 6:19:19 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: smokingfrog

20 posted on 09/28/2012 6:20:47 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

They say that spoonerisms are a lay of wife.


21 posted on 09/28/2012 6:21:36 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

bfl


22 posted on 09/28/2012 6:21:36 AM PDT by Dr. Thorne (Democrats - The Treasonous Pervert Party)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

23 posted on 09/28/2012 6:21:55 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Wow--I was sure slow today!

Woohoo!!! It's Friday!!!!!!!!!

24 posted on 09/28/2012 6:27:02 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

This is a family thread, so I can’t post what the Manager actually said when he was trying to tell the pitcher to hit the showers.


25 posted on 09/28/2012 6:27:57 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Subject: The Golfer

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.

“I have some good news and some bad news,” says the surgeon. “The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”

“Oh God no!” cries the man “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?”

“The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm. I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant.”

“Go for it doc” says the man. “As long as I can play golf again.”

The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. “Hi, how's the new arm?” asks the surgeon.

“Just great,” says the businessman. “I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved.”

“That's great,” said the surgeon.

“Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors.”

“Unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?”

“Well, just one problem,” said the golfer. “Every time I get an erection, I also get a headache.”

26 posted on 09/28/2012 6:30:00 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 ("It's better to vote for a Republican you don't know than wind up with a dim you don't like".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ShadowAce

Sometimes you have to wait for that first coff o’ cuppee to kick in.


27 posted on 09/28/2012 6:30:43 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
tin-can-telephone.jpg

http://obamaphone.net/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpAOwJvTOio&feature=player_embedded

28 posted on 09/28/2012 6:33:04 AM PDT by Heartlander
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

I’m assuming you get your stories from some Democrat-frequented forum. Based on their current candidate I can tell they’re all nucking futs!

NO FUT NUCKING!!!!


29 posted on 09/28/2012 6:33:43 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: ClearCase_guy

Law As It Should Be

Two men were walking down the street one evening when they observed a well dressed, attractive young woman ahead of them. One of them remarked to the other “I’d give $500 to spend the night with that woman.” To their surprise, the woman had heard the remark and, turning around, said, “I’ll take you up on that.” So, after bidding his friend good night, the man accompanied the woman to her apartment where they immediately went to bed.

The next morning, as he prepared to leave, the man presented her with a $50 bill. The woman demanded the rest of the money stating, “If you don’t give me the full $500 I’ll sue you for it.” He laughed saying, “I’d like to see you get it since prostitution is illegal.”

A couple days later he was surprised when served with a complaint and summons ordering him to appear in court. He hurried to his lawyer’s office and explained the details to him. His lawyer said, “She can’t possibly get a judgment against you on such grounds, but it will be interesting to see how the case is presented.”

On the appointed day and after the usual preliminaries, the woman’s lawyer addressed the court: “Your honor, my client is the owner of a piece of property , a garden spot surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery, which property she agreed to rent to the Defendant for specific purposes and for a specific length of time, for the sum of $500. The Defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purpose for which it was rented, but upon vacating the premises paid only $50 of the agreed upon rental amount. The rental amount for this property was not excessive, and we ask the Court to enter judgment against the Defendant to assure payment of the balance.”

The man’s lawyer was amused at the way the case was presented. He therefore altered his planned defense and proceeded as follows: “Your honor, the Defendant agrees that the Plaintiff has a fine piece of property, that he did rent the property for the purpose and time. However, upon occupying the property, the Defendant found an open well around which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft, erected a pump, all labor being performed by himself. These improvements to the property are sufficient to effect the unpaid balance and the Plaintiff was, as a result, adequately and fully compensated for the rental. The Defendant therefore moves the Court to deny judgment for the Plaintiff.”

The woman’s lawyer rose for rebuttal: “Your honor, Plaintiff agrees that the Defendant did find a well on the property, and that he did make the improvements as counsel stated. However, it was because he knew of the well that Defendant rented the property. Furthermore, upon vacating the premises, the Defendant removed the stones, pulled up the shaft and took the pump with him. In so doing, he not only dragged the equipment through the shrubbery, but he left the well hole larger than it was before his occupancy and left it easily accessible for little children. Plaintiff asks the Court for judgment in her favor.

AND SHE GOT IT!


30 posted on 09/28/2012 6:34:59 AM PDT by sockhead (Socialism: trickle up poverty.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

I’m a big Start Trek fan, but only that original one. Not the later ones. You know the one I mean, with Craptain Kick and Sister Mock.


31 posted on 09/28/2012 6:37:41 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

Now we shall see if Donny Jepp will actually freeve Lance over the new tuper sax.

Or will he chicken out like Balec Allwind did when Beorge Jush was elected in the U.S.?


32 posted on 09/28/2012 6:43:42 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

I LUV that!! LOL


33 posted on 09/28/2012 6:44:13 AM PDT by Fawn (DEAR JESUS....PLEASE LET OBAMA LOSE.....AMEN.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
I heard a rumor, that this is *National Dog Week!*


34 posted on 09/28/2012 6:44:37 AM PDT by Daffynition (Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious. ~ HLM)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

I think if we used spoonerism potential to choose our Presidents we couldn’t do much worse than the man we have now.

Just think of it:
Beorge Jush
Clill Binton
Ritt Mormony

All are better than Oarack Bobama


35 posted on 09/28/2012 6:45:47 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

STAHP!!!

ROTFLMBO!!!

(Good thing there was nothing in my mouth or I would have to clean this thing before I could comment!)


36 posted on 09/28/2012 6:49:51 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I don't mind if you smoke in my house. Just don't exhale.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Monkey Face

Spoonerisms just aren’t as funny with acronyms.

LOTMFBMO???

That’s just silly.


37 posted on 09/28/2012 7:09:43 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

38 posted on 09/28/2012 7:16:12 AM PDT by red-dawg (If muslims are exempt from Obamacare, then my name is Mohammed Suks.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

Not a spoonerism, but a lawyer joke:

Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?

A: Their personalities.

As a lawyer, I can tell you that this joke, like all humor, has a basis in truth.


39 posted on 09/28/2012 7:23:58 AM PDT by henkster (With Carter, the embassy staff was still alive.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

40 posted on 09/28/2012 7:27:00 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

Am I ing the prong lace, then?


41 posted on 09/28/2012 7:27:43 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I don't mind if you smoke in my house. Just don't exhale.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: henkster

So, is it true that if you give Viagra to a lawyer, all that happens is he gets taller?

So, he’s just a dig bick?


42 posted on 09/28/2012 7:28:37 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: Monkey Face

Where else bould you wee?


43 posted on 09/28/2012 7:29:32 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

I think the difficulty with a thrilliness sead is that this is a folitical porum. When it comes to unsitigated milliness it’s tough to beat the hite wouse.


44 posted on 09/28/2012 7:34:48 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 43 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

“So, is it true that if you give Viagra to a lawyer, all that happens is he gets taller?

So, he’s just a dig bick?”

Yes, unless you find one whose nucking futs.


45 posted on 09/28/2012 7:35:38 AM PDT by henkster (With Carter, the embassy staff was still alive.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

Fun with Drudge Headlines:

High Stool Schudents Planning Cafeteria Coybott To Protest New Olama Bunch Luidegines...


46 posted on 09/28/2012 7:37:04 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: ArGee
Q: What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a women's track team?

A: The first is a bunch of cunning runts...

47 posted on 09/28/2012 7:41:08 AM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: the_devils_advocate_666

Q: What’s the difference between Cirque de Soleil and Hooters?
A: One features cunning stunts.


48 posted on 09/28/2012 7:46:07 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 47 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

Clearly, too many people with their ginds in the mutter.


49 posted on 09/28/2012 7:49:04 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 48 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

50 posted on 09/28/2012 7:56:26 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-100101-132 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson