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Couples who share the housework are more likely to divorce, study finds
The Telegraph ^ | 09/27/2012 | By Henry Samuel

Posted on 09/28/2012 8:13:10 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd

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(Forwarding article on to Mrs. R2.)

See? This is why I don't empty the diswasher.

1 posted on 09/28/2012 8:13:16 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd
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To: Responsibility2nd

I can see this. Husband empties dishwasher, puts everything in wrong place.. argument erupts.. same with laundry


2 posted on 09/28/2012 8:16:28 AM PDT by pnz1
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To: Responsibility2nd

Hope she doesn’t take it the wrong way, you might become a statistic!


3 posted on 09/28/2012 8:18:00 AM PDT by Menehune56 ("Let them hate so long as they fear" (Oderint Dum Metuant), Lucius Accius (170 BC - 86 BC))
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To: Responsibility2nd

So odd that someone would even do this research.


4 posted on 09/28/2012 8:18:48 AM PDT by wiggen (The teacher card. When the racism card just won't work.)
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To: Responsibility2nd
(Forwarding article on to Mrs. R2.) See? This is why I don't empty the diswasher.

I actually do ALL the dishes by hand after my wife cooks. But that's pretty much the full extent of my housekeeping chores.

Seems to work, though. Lol.

(Forwarding article to Mrs. Flycatcher)

5 posted on 09/28/2012 8:19:06 AM PDT by Flycatcher (God speaks to us, through the supernal lightness of birds, in a special type of poetry.)
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To: Responsibility2nd

I will never lift a thing at home ever again...lol.


6 posted on 09/28/2012 8:19:24 AM PDT by napscoordinator (GOP Candidate 2020 - "Bloomberg 2020 - We vote for whatever crap the GOP puts in front of us.")
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To: Menehune56

LOL ,this study must have been done by men ,I love it


7 posted on 09/28/2012 8:20:09 AM PDT by molson209
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To: Responsibility2nd

Gee, I bet studies would also find that nurturing women don’t divorce as often as domineering, or independent women. Who’d a thunk it?


8 posted on 09/28/2012 8:21:48 AM PDT by pallis
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To: Responsibility2nd

Men have known this for thousands of years.


9 posted on 09/28/2012 8:25:19 AM PDT by jjr153 (Never Forget 9/11)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Hmm...

Note to self...

No marrying...

Wait...

I already wrote that note...

Never mind...


10 posted on 09/28/2012 8:28:06 AM PDT by isthisnickcool (Sharia? No thanks!)
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To: pnz1
I can see this. Husband empties dishwasher, puts everything in wrong place.. argument erupts.. same with laundry

I hate to say you are on to something, but it does seem every time I do one of these chores instead of quiet appreciation I generally get a stern lecture about how I effed it all up.


11 posted on 09/28/2012 8:28:53 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Responsibility2nd

I guess I won’t ever be divorced! LOL!


12 posted on 09/28/2012 8:29:33 AM PDT by defconw (It's not about a video Dummycrats!)
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To: pnz1
puts everything in wrong place..

We know your little game. You can't fool us!

13 posted on 09/28/2012 8:30:35 AM PDT by ladyjane
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To: Responsibility2nd

if the men wouldn’t do everything “wrong” maybe things would be better.......


14 posted on 09/28/2012 8:34:41 AM PDT by ConservativeDude
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To: Responsibility2nd

Get in the kitchen and make me a turkey pot pie!


15 posted on 09/28/2012 8:34:52 AM PDT by Buckeye Battle Cry (Audentis Fortuna Iuvat)
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To: Responsibility2nd

“What we’ve seen is that sharing equal responsibility for work in the home doesn’t necessarily contribute to contentment,”

Of course it doesn’t. Most men aren’t going to ever be happy about doing housework, and most women aren’t ever going to be satisfied with the quality of housework men do. So, in the end, nobody’s happy.


16 posted on 09/28/2012 8:36:16 AM PDT by Boogieman
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To: napscoordinator

I’m all for the husband doing the housework....infact, its brilliant...


17 posted on 09/28/2012 8:36:24 AM PDT by cherry
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To: Responsibility2nd

This is more likely a symptom of an underlying cause.

Couples that share housework are more likely to have “non-traditional” or “modern” attitudes about marriage. Less likely to think of marriage in religious terms; less likely to see it as a a lifetime commitment; more likely to see (even multiple) divorces and remarriages as a normal part of life.

They are also more likely to be a two-career household where both the husband and wife not only work, but have careers outside of the home. Throw a child (or two) into that mix, and the amount of stress is huge.


18 posted on 09/28/2012 8:36:39 AM PDT by Brookhaven (The Democratic Party has become the Beclowning Party)
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To: wiggen

They were probably hoping for the opposite result: shared housework makes for happier home. This has, after all, been the feminist mantra for the last 50 years.


19 posted on 09/28/2012 8:39:00 AM PDT by Brookhaven (The Democratic Party has become the Beclowning Party)
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To: Responsibility2nd
The men who share housework learn that it's not that hard to do these days, so why not just get a batchelore pad and have some fun while keeping house?
20 posted on 09/28/2012 8:40:34 AM PDT by txrefugee
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To: Responsibility2nd
Every time I try to help the Mrs. with household chores, she gets after me because :
  1. I don't put the dishes away where she can find them.
  2. I don't fold the clothes right.
  3. I miss spots with the toilet brush.
  4. My standards of cleanliness aren't the same as hers.
  5. My cooking is terrible unless it is something simple like making her a hot cup of tea.

In fact, vacuuming is about the only household chore which I can do to her satisfaction despite the best of intentions.

Things go a lot better when she says "Just leave it alone and let me do it. Go vacuum the living room or clean the garage!"

Division of labor according to who does the particular task the best and most efficiently has been a proven formula for economic advancement as old as time.

The feminazis can never figure out why.

I have a female cousin who travels the world as a project manager and does it well. Her husband takes care of the children and household chores, does it well, then logs on to his computer support shift once the kids are off to school. That works for them.

As Michael Savage likes to say "Feminism was invented by women too ugly to get a husband or too mean to keep one." To which, I'll add: They thrive on disrupting marriages, breaking up families and replacing order with chaos which, even if they can't fix it, empowers them to tell others how to live and gives them the company of abject failure to make them feel better about themselves.

21 posted on 09/28/2012 8:41:14 AM PDT by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: Responsibility2nd

This is for 2 reasons:

1. Its one more thing for the couple to fight about! your turn to do it, no its not its your turn... Or you aren’t doing it and you said you would... Generally speaking, Males and Females have 2 different standards for acceptable in the housekeeping department.

and second and probably more importantly, the guy may be doing it, but he’s not doing it the WAY the woman wants it done.. so yet another and even dumber fight!
You can’t do that!
—Why Not it works?
Because It has to be done this way?
—Why? It still done and clean, why does it have to be done that way?
Because that’s the way I want it done!
— Well if you want it done YOUR WAY, You do it! You nagging B*($H!

Seems to me, the cause is rather obvious! (Raise your hand if you’ve lived that second one at some point dealing with a woman?) I doubt there is a guy alive who hasn’t had that happen to him at some point when dealing with a woman, and trying to help with a chore of hers.


22 posted on 09/28/2012 8:44:48 AM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: Responsibility2nd

23 posted on 09/28/2012 8:46:20 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Responsibility2nd
Oh Great....now I know what Rush is going to talk about for the day....

The only reason the women do the work is because men are incapable of doing it right.

24 posted on 09/28/2012 8:47:11 AM PDT by Fawn (DEAR JESUS....PLEASE LET OBAMA LOSE.....AMEN.)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Not in my house! My husband loves to clean and does a great job at it. We split duties and we rarely have an argument about it.


25 posted on 09/28/2012 8:48:03 AM PDT by Halls (Jesus is my Lord and Savior)
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To: Vigilanteman

See Post 22, Section 2...

Not a man alive who hasn’t learned his lesson about “helping” a woman with her chores... Doesn’t matter if the outcome is exactly the same or not, its their way or its a fight.


26 posted on 09/28/2012 8:49:25 AM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: JRandomFreeper

Look Johnny. See what you could have if you were married?

Mrs Johnny would do all the housework and all would be well.

No?


27 posted on 09/28/2012 8:51:32 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: pnz1

Actually, I have seen some younger couples ruined with women who want to share the “women’s” housework fifty-fifty while the man will be expected to continue doing all the “man’s” work around the fort and perform as the main source of income for the household.

Most of the time when feminazis are playing victim, they are lying and lesbians. And then again, some men do fit the feminist stereotype of a man.

The war of the sexes is a war with one’s own face as in cutting off one’s own nose in spite. That is true of the backlash male women haters born of the war conducted by feminazi man haters.


28 posted on 09/28/2012 8:56:37 AM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: Responsibility2nd

Yeah, the problem with doing things together is that husbands don’t just follow orders. They offer opinions and find their own unique solutions to issues they should have consulted their wives on.

Extra help is often welcome, but only if/when I actually am willing to give up control over the outcome.

This goes for another thing: driving. Mr. Married21 and I are happy road-trippers because he doesn’t have to control the driving (I drive) and I don’t have to control the entertainment. Only place for squabbles: the temperature and air flow.


29 posted on 09/28/2012 8:58:01 AM PDT by married21 (As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.)
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To: Responsibility2nd
No one touches my stuff. I wouldn't be able to find anything. I even fired the housekeeper over that.

/johnny

30 posted on 09/28/2012 8:59:11 AM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Funny! These types of pseudo-studies piss me off.

The wife and I have shared housework for many reasons over the last 40 years, through raising three sons whom we taught to take care of themselves.

I learned how to do most of these things working as a restaurant cook in HS and after my mother died when I was 17. All of these habits, sense of self-responsibility and the discipline were reinforced during my time in the Marine Corps.

For anyone who thinks that dependence is the way to go, only a lazy, adolescent fool makes himself dependent on anyone. Nut up and take responsibility for yourselves and learn to share responsibility for the needs of daily living.

Any man who cannot cook, clean and take care of himself in the absence of a wife, mother, sister, daughter, girlfriend, is pretty pathetic.


31 posted on 09/28/2012 8:59:15 AM PDT by RJS1950 (The democrats are the "enemies foreign and domestic" cited in the federal oath)
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To: pnz1

The war of the sexes is a war with one’s own face as in cutting off one’s own nose in spite. That is true of the backlash male women haters born of the war conducted by feminazi man haters as it is of the women who have been the apple of feminist man hate and disrespect. The only winners are the divorce lawyers and shrinks.


32 posted on 09/28/2012 9:00:49 AM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: Responsibility2nd

My wife and I find that I don’t do the housework to her specs, and she doesn’t do the yard, car and home repair work to mine. We each know our strengths and stick to them.


33 posted on 09/28/2012 9:01:08 AM PDT by Ol' Sox
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To: Responsibility2nd

I think you need to subdivide the survey into a) husbands who share the housework because they want to and b) husbands who share the housework because they are made to. I also think you should subdivide the survey among wives who work outside the home (thus less time to do chores) and those who are “stay-at-home”.

Two men in my family married women who are sickly by nature. Both of them were warned by the woman’s father that they’d have to do much of the housework because their wives were sick a lot of the time. Both men married their wives anyway, loved them and do a great deal of the housework above their 8-to-5 jobs and are still happily married.

I doubt they were sampled for this survey.


34 posted on 09/28/2012 9:02:37 AM PDT by OrangeHoof (Our economy won't heal until one particular black man is unemployed.)
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To: Brookhaven

I kind of doubt that helping at home or not has an impact on divorce rate. there are so many variables just in that match. work hours. physical abilities. schedules with kids.


35 posted on 09/28/2012 9:03:35 AM PDT by wiggen (The teacher card. When the racism card just won't work.)
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To: Responsibility2nd
I'd love to see this segmented out to really lay bare the source.

Segment out stay at home traditional mom and see where the data go.

Segment by church affiliation and attendance. Segment out by political affiliation.

I suspect the truth is that women who harangue their husbands to do housework are miserable spouses to begin with, as are henpecked men who acquiesce, and it all correlates strongly to irreligiousness and leftist politics.

36 posted on 09/28/2012 9:03:56 AM PDT by RegulatorCountry
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To: OrangeHoof

I bet truly shared housework comes about from both working which is what is more likely to lead to more divorce.


37 posted on 09/28/2012 9:06:21 AM PDT by wiggen (The teacher card. When the racism card just won't work.)
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To: married21

For years, Mrs. R2 paid the bills. That’s what her mother had always done, so she did it too. Trouble was... she was terrible at it. Even though the money was in the bank she paid ‘em late incurring late charges.

I took that over about 10 years ago. After all, I am a banker and I have everything organized with auto-pay, bill-pay and etc. No problem.

The point is... Each spouse is obligated to contribute what they do best.


38 posted on 09/28/2012 9:08:01 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Responsibility2nd

We simply call it division of labor. I do the things I do well: laundry, cooking, kitchen stuff, make social plans, work part time, keep chocolate supply steady. He does the things he does well: fixing computer, killing spiders, picking up dead rats, working to support us, puts dishes in d/w after dinner. What’s the big fuss?


39 posted on 09/28/2012 9:11:55 AM PDT by bboop (does not suffer fools gladly)
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To: Responsibility2nd

“Sure honey, I can do the laundry. IF YOU WANT A DIVORCE!!”


40 posted on 09/28/2012 9:12:52 AM PDT by HenryArmitage (it was not meant that we should voyage far.)
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To: Responsibility2nd

The interior of the house belongs to the wife. Every man with half a brain has figured this out. And in the case of a divorce, the entire house belongs to the wife, inside and outside.

Its her house, not yours. Let her do the housework. You get the yard, the garage, any sheds, patios, and decks...the attic and the basement but only if they are unfinished. In any relationship or partnership there are boundaries. The clearer the boundaries, the better.


41 posted on 09/28/2012 9:15:34 AM PDT by mamelukesabre
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To: Responsibility2nd

I always clean my plate.


42 posted on 09/28/2012 9:15:48 AM PDT by eartrumpet
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To: wiggen

I think another unspoken reason is that many have standards drilled into them by their mothers that they seem incapable of rationalizing.

I worked an overnight shift in a computer room with a women where one chore was to vacuum the area around the printers each night (lots of dust and punched out paper holes flying around). When we were done, the small canister vacuum was pushed under one of the storage racks where it was not in anyone’s way.

But the woman insisted on wrapping the cord around the vacuum when she was done which meant that I had to unwrap it every time it was my turn to use it instead of simply pulling the vacuum cleaner out from under the rack.

When I asked why she insisted on adding this unnecessary step, her answer was “this was how my mother always taught me to it.” To which I answered “your mother is never coming up here to inspect the office and if she ever does and finds the cord unwrapped, you can blame it on me.”


43 posted on 09/28/2012 9:17:57 AM PDT by OrangeHoof (Our economy won't heal until one particular black man is unemployed.)
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To: pnz1
Yes that's correct that is why I do all that myself. No one can live up to my expectations of a clean house. It's all my fault I know!
44 posted on 09/28/2012 9:18:46 AM PDT by angcat (ROMNEY/RYAN 2012)
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To: OrangeHoof

I cook, do dishes, clean toilets, and yardwork.

But I WILL not do laundry.

Matter of fact, I’m still trying to figure out why I have to wear clothes at all.


45 posted on 09/28/2012 9:20:58 AM PDT by skinndogNN
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To: Responsibility2nd

This sounds incomplete. What if the husband does all the housework? The two choices given were wife doing all housework and the splitting of chores.

It makes a lot more sense in America, because for two generations now, many girls grew up without any familiarity or study of housework. They don’t know how to clean, cook, wash, do home arrangement or design, or manage a household budget.

Conversely, many boys have grown up having to depend on self reliance, because if they didn’t do it, it didn’t get done.

If anything, the problems caused with this are with the boys recognizing that if all a girl brings to a marriage is sex, the price is too high. What else does she have? By this he means something productive, not just a willingness to party, waste time, and be waited on hand and foot.


46 posted on 09/28/2012 9:22:05 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy (DIY Bumper Sticker: "THREE TIMES,/ DEMOCRATS/ REJECTED GOD")
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To: Responsibility2nd

It takes awhile to figure out and respect what people do best.

I have learned over the years that I must be the paper sorter, not him. And I pack for trips, not him.

But he will happily put the stuff in the car in a space-efficient way.

And also, if you need a really nifty birthday invitation or a flyer for your event, Mr. Married21 is the guy. He creates the annual Christmas letter. My contribution is a list of events that should be mentioned in the story.


47 posted on 09/28/2012 9:23:00 AM PDT by married21 (As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.)
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To: Responsibility2nd

It takes awhile to figure out and respect what people do best.

I have learned over the years that I must be the paper sorter, not him. And I pack for trips, not him.

But he will happily put the stuff in the car in a space-efficient way.

And also, if you need a really nifty birthday invitation or a flyer for your event, Mr. Married21 is the guy. He creates the annual Christmas letter. My contribution is a list of events that should be mentioned in the story.


48 posted on 09/28/2012 9:23:19 AM PDT by married21 (As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.)
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To: Responsibility2nd

I have no problem sharing housework. But I can certainly see how constantly hearing how the man did it wrong can lead to divorce. After 25 years, my vacuuming and dusting and bathroom cleaning isn’t going to get better. Fortunately she decided long ago to redo it when it mattered (guests coming over) and I decided more recently to be ok with her asking me to do something then her redoing it (when we both knew to begin with that she would).


49 posted on 09/28/2012 9:24:32 AM PDT by LostPassword
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To: Responsibility2nd

I think the problem comes in when there’s a goal of “equally” that turns it into something with rules and such. Just let things happen. The wife does most of the cooking because she’s better at it, I do the dishes because she does the cooking and it seems like the nice thing to do after she’s provided me with a nice meal. She does the vacuuming and laundry and lots of other stuff I don’t pay attention to because I don’t care about those things. I do all the cleaning that involves noxious liquids because she has asthma and having to go to the hospital every time the bathrooms get scrubbed would be a waste of time and money. But all these things just evolved over the course of our relationship, there’s no rules, no list, couldn’t even really tell you if things are even close to equal, we each just took on tasks we were best equipped for.


50 posted on 09/28/2012 9:30:37 AM PDT by discostu (Put another dime in the jukebox.)
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