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Experts: Economy to Boom After Obama’s Reelection
The Corner on NRO ^ | October 15, 2012 | Peter Kirsanow

Posted on 10/15/2012 10:26:38 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets

Washington — The stock market is poised to soar today after the release of a report by the Council of Economic Advisers projecting a major surge in economic activity upon President Obama’s reelection in November.

“Recent events demonstrate that after the upcoming election, President Obama will finally have the tools needed to jumpstart a robust economic recovery, with significant declines in unemployment, the deficit and national debt,” the report states. “Until now, the administration’s recovery efforts have been stymied by a simple lack of information.”

Pressed for details, White House press secretary Jay Carney explained, “Until last week, neither the intelligence community nor the Labor Department had told the president and vice president that the unemployment rate’s been above 7.8 percent for the last 44 months. Had they only known, they would’ve taken some kind of action to lower the rate.”

Reached for comment outside a local pharmacy, a grinning Joe Biden confirmed Carney’s assessment. “The economy’s in shambles,” he giggled. “The middle class has been buried over the last four years because the intelligence community and the Treasury Department never told the president and me that we’ve got a $1.3 trillion deficit and $16 trillion national debt. Look pal,” he snarled, “had we known, you can bet we would’ve implemented a recovery plan. But no one ever asked us to.” Aides to the vice president privately admit that he remains bitter after Langley supposedly incorrectly informed him that President Roosevelt went on television in 1929 to reassure Americans about the state of the economy.

(Excerpt) Read more at nationalreview.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: satire
What would we do without experts?
1 posted on 10/15/2012 10:26:45 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

I know several business owners. I have spoken to many others over the last 6 months. All of them agree with the articles in the media. “If ‘Zero’ wins we are letting people go. We have no choice.”


2 posted on 10/15/2012 10:30:14 AM PDT by Snuph ("give me Liberty...")
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

First satire I have seen coming out of NRO. Pretty good.


3 posted on 10/15/2012 10:30:40 AM PDT by America_Right (I am the 53%. Please get out of the cart and help me pull for a while.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
"...projecting a major surge in economic activity..."

That's about as likely as me walking to the moon tonight and getting back by dawn!

4 posted on 10/15/2012 10:31:14 AM PDT by Ron C.
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Is this one of those satire articles?


5 posted on 10/15/2012 10:33:59 AM PDT by oldbill
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

I didn’t know the National Review ever did satire. Caught me off guard. Very funny once I realized that.


6 posted on 10/15/2012 10:34:46 AM PDT by carolinablonde
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To: America_Right

NRO = Now Reading the Onion


7 posted on 10/15/2012 10:36:46 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Has to be satire. “Lack of information”? LOL. There is no one on Earth with more information at their fingertips than the President of the United States.


8 posted on 10/15/2012 10:38:12 AM PDT by chimera
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Think guns and ammo.


9 posted on 10/15/2012 10:38:45 AM PDT by Walmartian (I'm their leader. Which way did they go?)
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To: carolinablonde

Actually, they do do sarcasm. This one was so obvious that I refrained from adding any tags or warnings. I was sure that anyone who got to the end of the fourth paragraph, the last one I posted, would recognize it.

I think a lot of people read the headline and pulled the trigger. I cannot say that I blame them.


10 posted on 10/15/2012 10:40:45 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets ( Message to President Obama: Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

That right there is funny I don’t care who you are. I went to the source link and read the third paragraph again and finally got it!


11 posted on 10/15/2012 10:41:41 AM PDT by Clinging Bitterly (I will not comply.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Hmmmm.. Where’s the ‘satire, humor’ keywords?


12 posted on 10/15/2012 10:42:44 AM PDT by Obama_Is_Sabotaging_America
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Oooops. Sorry, now I see it.


13 posted on 10/15/2012 10:43:32 AM PDT by Obama_Is_Sabotaging_America
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Ha!! Satire.. good one!


14 posted on 10/15/2012 10:43:32 AM PDT by ScottinVA (Record high turnout is our hope for sending 0bama home. Pray hard!!!)
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To: Snuph

I think I can hang on until 2014. After that no matter what happens, it’s lights out. We are all kulaks now.


15 posted on 10/15/2012 10:45:44 AM PDT by griswold3 (Big Government does not tolerate rivals.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
From the article:

"...deputy White House press secretary André A. Mitchell"

I'm not sure that's satire.

Yeah I fully expect the lamestream media to go into full protection mode for 0bama and "Bite me" Biden. If 0bama comes out tomorrow night and drools on himself for 90 minutes I'm sure he'll immediately be declared the winner.

16 posted on 10/15/2012 10:47:23 AM PDT by carolinablonde
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

I believe they are mocking you, your excellency.

17 posted on 10/15/2012 10:53:45 AM PDT by McGruff (I love the smell of DESPERATION in the morning. Smells like victory!)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
And who, pray tell, are these "experts" in the report?

John Hinckley and Charles Manson?

18 posted on 10/15/2012 10:57:44 AM PDT by Prole (Please pray for the families of Chris and Channon. May God always watch over them)
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To: McGruff

Where is that desk located? Is the Oval Office through the open door? Could this mean he works in the closet next to the Oval Office and keeps the Oval Office desk clean so he can put his feet up on it? (Frankly, I’m surprised to see him at a desk with computer, papers, pencils and other actual implements of WORK. He even has an In Box and Out Box. Color me shocked!)


19 posted on 10/15/2012 11:02:15 AM PDT by nanetteclaret (Unreconstructed Catholic Texan)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

It’s political rubbish. If they’re correct, the economy would also boom if Romney got elected.


20 posted on 10/15/2012 11:06:21 AM PDT by popdonnelly (The first priority is get Obama out of the White House.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Satire, eh? Got me again.


21 posted on 10/15/2012 11:07:52 AM PDT by popdonnelly (The first priority is get Obama out of the White House.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Newt Gingrich said it: “If Obama is defeated, the economy will begin to recover the evening of Nov. 7th”


22 posted on 10/15/2012 11:14:02 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

There may be bubbles in certain parts of the economy but it won’t be growth and it will case more pain when they burst.


23 posted on 10/15/2012 11:14:13 AM PDT by DManA
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
The stock market is poised to soar today after the release of a report by the Council of Economic Advisers projecting a major surge in economic activity upon President Obama’s reelection in November. “Recent events demonstrate that after the upcoming election, President Obama will finally have the tools needed to jumpstart a robust economic recovery, with significant declines in unemployment, the deficit and national debt,” the report states.

Riiiiiiggggghhhhhhtttttttt!!!!! What are they experts in - economic depression??

Allow me to make a prediction - assuming that zero is not re-elected and Romney wins AND the economy starts to surge, will these same "experts" claim that it is "unexpected?!!???

Inquiring minds . . . . .

24 posted on 10/15/2012 11:14:13 AM PDT by DustyMoment (Congress - another name for white collar criminals!!)
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To: popdonnelly

Cheap easy way to knock out a column.


25 posted on 10/15/2012 11:16:41 AM PDT by DManA
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To: McGruff

LOL! THAT is funny!


26 posted on 10/15/2012 11:17:36 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets ( Message to President Obama: Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Pretty clever satire. Entirely believable with the head cases we have in charge.


27 posted on 10/15/2012 11:18:32 AM PDT by txrefugee
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To: carolinablonde
If When 0bama comes out tomorrow night and drools on himself again for 90 minutes
28 posted on 10/15/2012 11:22:59 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets ( Message to President Obama: Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
Ahh, didn't see the 'satire' tag.

I figured it either had to be satire, or maybe NRO was mistakenly used for that liberal rag, The New Republic.

29 posted on 10/15/2012 11:23:58 AM PDT by mellow velo (Oxymorons: jumbo shrimp, rap music, liberal think-tank)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
Public: Economy to Boom After Obama’s Reelection REMOVAL
30 posted on 10/15/2012 11:25:15 AM PDT by The Sons of Liberty ("Get that evil, foreign, muslim, usurping, gay bastard out of MY White House!" FUBO!)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
WHAT A BUNCH OF MALARKY! AHHH HAHAHHAHHAHHAHAH!!!!


31 posted on 10/15/2012 11:28:38 AM PDT by Lazamataz (WAAAAAAAAAHHHhhhhh.....)
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To: Snuph

My radio commercial that I have made myself will have to wait until I know what direction this country will take on November 6th. I cannot imagine trying to start a business with all the pain that this administration will put on all the businesses in America. This is my American dream and only a devout socialist will take it away. n/s


32 posted on 10/15/2012 11:29:19 AM PDT by cameraeye (A happy kuffir!)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Satire and reality have become one in ObamaWorld.


33 posted on 10/15/2012 11:47:57 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Government is the religion of the psychopath.)
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To: nanetteclaret
Where is that desk located?

The Office of the President-Unelect.

34 posted on 10/15/2012 11:56:19 AM PDT by America_Right (I am the 53%. Please get out of the cart and help me pull for a while.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Great satire! Was totally sucked in by the first two paragraphs! It was, like WTF??? What idiots wrote this? Uh, wait a minute, is this satire? So I kept reading, and yes, burst into laughter!


35 posted on 10/15/2012 1:00:09 PM PDT by catnipman (Cat Nipman: Vote Republican in 2012 and only be called racist one more time!)
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To: PGR88

Even if we don’t take back the Senate, a major 1994-like tidal wave will put the fear of God, or at least of the Tea Party, into Dirty Harry’s minions. The 1994 election stopped HillaryCare dead in its tracks. Bill wanted to get reelected so he gently took his beloved bride aside and softly whispered in her ear, “stfu”.


36 posted on 10/15/2012 1:18:46 PM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets ( Message to President Obama: Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin)
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