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(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

Posted on 10/19/2012 5:36:18 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

I hope this thread is optimal....

Elon James White -- I feel like Obama's staff stabbed him in the chest w/ the adrenaline needle from Pulp Fiction. THAT DUDE IS AWAKE! #twib2012 #debates

adamsorensen -- Is there anything more awkward than putting two guys on stools 10 feet apart on a huge stage and asking them to look natural for 90 minutes?

Brian Braiker -- i hope the guy with a mustache has a spot in line. and i hope he stands up to say "Mr President, I mustache you a question."

Dane Cook -- Dear everyone in the town hall #debate. Stop reading your questions off your cards like its a hostage note.

Chase Mitchell ‏-- We're about three seconds away from the knife fight from "Beat It."#debates

dansinker -- I FEEL REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW.

Samantha Bee -- When Obama is talking, Romney makes the same face my Catholic grandmother would make at a Wiccan wedding. #debate

Matt Roller -- Before you accuse Romney of not caring about the unemployed, keep in mind he's been trying to get a new job for a YEAR. #debate

ditzkoff -- Mitt Romney read very different Mr. Men books than I did. #mrcoal #mrgas #mroil

pourmecoffee ‏-- Romney: I am pro-choice, but only for deporting yourself.

Jordan Zakarin -- I agree with Romney that we really don't need another 'Fast and the Furious' sequel. Enough, Vin Diesel. Bipartisan consensus!

I got an EXCLUSIVE PHOTO of Mitt Romney's binder. twitpic.com/b4u44a

Binder reviews on Amazon.com........women won't fit

Patton Oswalt -- "Binders Full of Women" is my favorite Motley Crue album. #debate

Adam Sternbergh -- "Binders full of women" is what they find in a serial killer's apartment.

Steve Agee -- Fonzie had binders full of women too. #debate #littleblackbook

Elise Foley -- Oh god, I just realized that now people will dress as binders for Halloween.



Meanwhile, here is Obama's collection of binders

If Romney and Obama switched hair with their wives... pic.twitter.com/PFkzm4Jd

Josh Tyrangiel -- Romney just locked up the Welsh illegal vote.

ThePresObama [Not the real Obama] -- Romney is very tough on China. He will only eat off of the most rare and expensive sets available. #debate2012

Clay Johnson -- Watching the debates to figure out who to vote for is like watching the World Series to figure out which team to root for.

Pat Healy ‏-- Fred Armisen was great tonight as every audience member.#Debate

David Weinberger -- Well, there goes the gangbanger vote! Nice job, Mr. President! #debate

Feministing -- Guns don't kill people. Single mothers kill people.

Andy Borowitz -- It's as if the Romney from the first debate is tied up in a Scooby-Doo warehouse somewhere. #debate

Team Coco -- You know who won this #debate? The shadowy townhall industry.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson -- That debate was better than a real housewives reunion.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: binder; lies; ofst; silliness
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1 posted on 10/19/2012 5:36:25 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

#2

Go 49ers!!!


2 posted on 10/19/2012 5:37:36 AM PDT by moviefan8
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To: Lucky9teen

In !!!


3 posted on 10/19/2012 5:37:59 AM PDT by 21stCenturion ("It's the Judges, Stupid !")
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To: Lucky9teen

Ping ping ping


4 posted on 10/19/2012 5:39:19 AM PDT by 4everontheRight (And the story began with..."Once there was a great nation......")
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To: Lucky9teen
It's time for The Official Sillday Fridayness Thread!

It's time for The Official Silly Friedness Thread!

It's time for The Ofredshul Frilly Silldayness Thread!

It's time for The Offthreadshul Threadday Sillyness Fry!

It's time for The Osisshul Thriday Thrilliness Fred!

It's time for a cup of coffee!

5 posted on 10/19/2012 5:46:15 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

SAIL!!

into

CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST



6 posted on 10/19/2012 5:46:35 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

7 posted on 10/19/2012 5:49:15 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top Ten! (Thanks for the ping)


8 posted on 10/19/2012 5:50:13 AM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: Lucky9teen

Black.

Definitely.

I think I can keep the fact that I know the Dow closing every day for the next 5 years pretty much to myself.


9 posted on 10/19/2012 5:51:07 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: Lucky9teen

TGIF and yay for the thread!


10 posted on 10/19/2012 5:53:44 AM PDT by holly go-rightly
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To: Lucky9teen

11 posted on 10/19/2012 5:54:01 AM PDT by Perdogg (Vote like the US Constitution depends on it - it does!!)
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To: Lucky9teen

I want the green pill. Wheeee!


12 posted on 10/19/2012 5:54:50 AM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: Lucky9teen

13 posted on 10/19/2012 5:56:34 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: JRios1968

Oppa Romney Style


14 posted on 10/19/2012 5:58:35 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: ArGee
Candy Crowley on vacation?


15 posted on 10/19/2012 5:59:18 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: Lucky9teen

hmmm...

Pink or Black... I dunno


16 posted on 10/19/2012 6:00:28 AM PDT by Rightly Biased (How do you say Arkanicide in Kenyan?)
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To: Lucky9teen

pong


17 posted on 10/19/2012 6:00:35 AM PDT by AppyPappy (If you really want to annoy someone, point out something obvious that they are trying hard to ignore)
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To: Lucky9teen
If 'pro' means good, and 'con' means bad, does that mean the opposite of Progress is Congress?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I pick the black pill. I'd love to see the future!

(and I rarely go out in 'public', so no need to worry about the side affects)

BUT here's a little paradox -

If I take the black pill to see the future and I die.....

can I still see it?

18 posted on 10/19/2012 6:02:23 AM PDT by MamaTexan (I am a Person as Created by the Laws of Nature, not a person as created by the laws of Man)
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To: Rightly Biased

19 posted on 10/19/2012 6:03:21 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: MamaTexan

Teacher asks the kids in class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Lil’ Johnny: “I Wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day”.

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson:

And you, Tanya?

” I wanna be Lil’ Johnny’s bitch!”


20 posted on 10/19/2012 6:06:05 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: ArGee

21 posted on 10/19/2012 6:06:59 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee

22 posted on 10/19/2012 6:07:08 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Rightly Biased

I don’t want to impose but I’m just asking you to share this one with a few of your best friends.

Dear Friends:

There is 2 weeks until election day when the people will decide who will be the next President of the United States. The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. It’s time that we all need to come together, Democrats and Republicans alike, in a bi-partisan effort for America:

If you will support Mitt Romney, please drive with your headlights ON during the day.

If you support Barack Obama, please drive with your headlights OFF at night.

Together, we can make it happen.


23 posted on 10/19/2012 6:09:41 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen
One day many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, "Let's not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us."

After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn't matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction.

"Let's call the boys Towards and Away," suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as TOWARDS and AWAY.

The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, "Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea." They provisioned their ship, said their goodbyes, and set sail for a three month voyage.

The three months passed quickly for the fisherman's wife, yet the ship had not returned. Another three months passed, and still no ship.

Three whole years passed before the grieving woman saw a lone man walking towards her house. She recognized him as her husband. "My goodness! What has happened to my darling boys?" she cried.

The ragged fisherman began to tell his story:

"We were just barely one whole day out to see when Towards hooked into a great fish. Towards fought long and hard, but the fish was more than his equal. For a whole week they wrestled upon the waves without either of them letting up. Yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side of our ship. He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again."

"Oh dear, that must have been terrible! What a huge fish that must of been! What a horrible fish. What a horrible fish."

[wait for it]

.

[it's coming]

.

[just let the story sit for a minute]

.

[OK, here's the punch.]

.

"Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away...."

24 posted on 10/19/2012 6:11:14 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: MamaTexan; null and void; Cowgirl of Justice; Vendome

yellow, definitely.


25 posted on 10/19/2012 6:13:37 AM PDT by Shimmer1 (It's not what I do but the way I do it, it's not what I say but the way I say it. (Mae West))
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To: Lucky9teen
Al Gore's Up and Down Speech seems pretty appropriate for some silliness.











26 posted on 10/19/2012 6:14:26 AM PDT by SERKIT ("Blazing Saddles" explains it all.......)
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To: Perdogg

27 posted on 10/19/2012 6:17:26 AM PDT by Travis McGee (www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: Lucky9teen

OK that one made me LOL!!!!


28 posted on 10/19/2012 6:17:26 AM PDT by Rightly Biased (How do you say Arkanicide in Kenyan?)
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To: Lucky9teen

WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO TGIF


29 posted on 10/19/2012 6:18:33 AM PDT by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
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To: Lucky9teen

WTF???

30 posted on 10/19/2012 6:24:16 AM PDT by Leo Carpathian (FReeeeepissed)
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To: Lucky9teen

31 posted on 10/19/2012 6:25:25 AM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: Lucky9teen
LOL!

-----

One day Little Johnny's teacher brought pictures of farming tools to class. She asked the class to identify each one.

Holding up one she asked "Class, do you know what this is?

"It's a shovel!", they all replied.

"And this one?" she asked as she held up another.

"It's a RAKE!" they said enthusiastically.

"Very good" she encouraged.

Holding up the last picture they immediately said "It's a hoe!"

"No it's not" said Little Johnny from his seat.

The teacher looked at him puzzled and asked - "Johnny, everyone else says it's a hoe, why do you think it's not?"

"Cuz, teacher" Johnny said innocently "My sista's a hoe, and she don't look nothin' like that!"

32 posted on 10/19/2012 6:27:17 AM PDT by MamaTexan (I am a Person as Created by the Laws of Nature, not a person as created by the laws of Man)
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To: smokingfrog

33 posted on 10/19/2012 6:29:14 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: Disambiguator

Maybe it’s time to try on a new tagline


34 posted on 10/19/2012 6:32:28 AM PDT by Disambiguator (Re-electing Obama is not optimal.)
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To: Lucky9teen

LOL


35 posted on 10/19/2012 6:36:44 AM PDT by Salamander (Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me.)
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To: Lucky9teen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=EohGmG-QUhA#!


36 posted on 10/19/2012 6:39:23 AM PDT by Pride_of_the_Bluegrass
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To: Lucky9teen

Whew—this morning has been hectic. Glad I finally made it in!!!


37 posted on 10/19/2012 6:39:41 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

I read this back in 1993 from a piece of paper (We called ‘em, “Xerox Jokes,”) on a mechanic’s tool cart at a job I had back then:

The Deer Hunt
Saturday
1:00am. Alarm clock rings.
2:00am.Hunting partners arrive,drag you out of bed.
2:30am.Throw everything except the kitchen sink into pickup.
3:00am.Leave for the deep woods.
3:15am.Drive back home and pick up gun.
3:30am.Drive like hell to get to woods before daylight.
4:00am.Set up camp-forgot the damn tent.
4:30am.Head into woods.
5:30am. See 8 deer.
6:06am.Take aim and squeeze trigger.
6:07am.”Click”
6:08am.Load gun while watching deer go over hill.
8:00am.Head back to camp.
9:00am.Still looking for camp.
10:00am.Realize you don’t know where camp is.
NOON-Fire gun for Help-eat wild berries.
12:15pm.Ran out of bullets-8 deer came back.
12:20pm.Strange feeling in stomach.
12:30pm.Realize you ate poison berries.
12:45pm.RESCUED!!!!
12:53PM.Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
3:00pm.Arrived back at camp.
3:30pm.Leave camp to KILL DEER.
4:00pm.Return to camp for bullets.
4:01pm.Load gun-leave camp again.
5:00pm.Empty gun on squirrel that’s bugging you.
6:00pm.Arrive at camp-see deer grazing in camp.
6:01pm.Load gun.
6:02pm.Fire gun.
6:03pm.One dead pick up truck.
6:05pm.Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.
6:06pm.Repress strong desire to shoot partner.
6:07pm.Fall into fire.
6:10pm.Change clothes-throw burned into fire.
6:15pm.Take pickup,leave partner and his deer in woods.
6:25pm.Pickup boils over-hole shot in block.
6:26pm.Start walking.
6:30pm.Stumble and fall,drop gun in mud.
6:35pm.Meet bear.
6:36pm.Take aim.
6:37pm.Fire gun-blown up barrel-plugged with mud.
6:38pm. Shit pants.
6:39pm.Climb tree.
9:00pm.Bear departs,wrap@$*&^^@@& gun around tree.
MIDNIGHT-Home at last

SUNDAY
Watch football game on t.v. slowly tearing license into little pieces.
Place into envelope,and mail to Game Warden,with clear instructions on where to place it.


38 posted on 10/19/2012 6:45:40 AM PDT by RandallFlagg ("Liberalism is about as progressive as CANCER" -Alfonzo Rachel)
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To: Lucky9teen

39 posted on 10/19/2012 6:49:47 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (No tagline until JR gets the snail out of this site....as he promised moons ago.)
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To: Lucky9teen

40 posted on 10/19/2012 6:50:11 AM PDT by workerbee (The President of the United States is DOMESTIC ENEMY #1)
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To: ArGee
Late one night in Washington, D.C., a mugger jumped a well-dressed man and held a gun to his ribs.

"Give me your money!" he demanded. The man stiffened, but said indignantly, "You can not do this to me ? I am a U. S. Congressman!"

"In that case," replied the robber, "give me my money!"

41 posted on 10/19/2012 6:56:11 AM PDT by workerbee (The President of the United States is DOMESTIC ENEMY #1)
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To: Lucky9teen

Green pill. Science said that one day man will be able to fly. Here is the opportunity. It is the safest of them all since it doesn’t change society.

Plus it would make my commute easier.


42 posted on 10/19/2012 6:57:45 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz
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To: Lucky9teen

I heard Eliot Spitzer wants to know if the binders cost extra.


43 posted on 10/19/2012 6:58:27 AM PDT by Rainbow Rising (Hey hey, ho ho, in 2012 Obama's got to go!)
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To: Lucky9teen
Photobucket
44 posted on 10/19/2012 7:02:09 AM PDT by baddog 219
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To: RandallFlagg
The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day in December.

Wife: “Windows frozen.”
Husband: “Pour some warm water over them.”
(pause)
Wife: “Computer's completely screwed up now.”

45 posted on 10/19/2012 7:02:38 AM PDT by workerbee (The President of the United States is DOMESTIC ENEMY #1)
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To: Lucky9teen

Comedians in Chief

- When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer “present” or “not guilty”. Teddy Roosevelt.

- One day, first Lady Eleanor Roosevelt visited a penitentiary. When FDR asked where she was, he was told, “She’s in prison.” “I’m not surprised” Roosevelt responded. “But what for?” Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

- “I don’t know whether it’s the finest public housing in America or the crown jewel of the American penal system.” Bill Clinton on the White House.

- “My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.” Jimmy Carter

- “If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read “President Can’t Swim”. Lyndon Johnson

- During a state visit to Great Britain, President Ronald Reagan purportedly went horseback riding with Queen Elizabeth. At one point, one of the horses passed gas quite loudly. The queen apologized, saying, “there are some things even royalty can’t control.” Reagan replied, “I’m glad you told me, or I would have thought it was the horse.” Ronald Reagan


46 posted on 10/19/2012 7:05:37 AM PDT by sockhead (Socialism: trickle up poverty.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 50!


47 posted on 10/19/2012 7:18:18 AM PDT by Monkey Face (They're rioting in Africa. La-lala-lala-la-la. They're starving in Spain. La-lala-lala-la....)
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To: workerbee

48 posted on 10/19/2012 7:25:57 AM PDT by red-dawg
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To: Monkey Face

In at 48... woohoo


49 posted on 10/19/2012 7:26:13 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz
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To: Lucky9teen
Reaction to the Michelle Obama - Ann Romney debate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=EohGmG-QUhA
50 posted on 10/19/2012 7:34:31 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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