Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

Posted on 10/26/2012 6:04:06 AM PDT by Lucky9teen





One witch told another witch, "I want one of those new computers that has a spell checker."



Don't bother inviting the Invisible Man to your Halloween party.
He won't show up. Sometimes he makes excuses, but they're all transparent.


A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer dashes to his studio, develops the film and…learns that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.



A vampire joined the police force so he could learn the correct way to get a stakeout.

The ghost was lonely because he didn't have a ghoulfriend.

Who do they call when a demon needs a personal trainer? The exercist!

Hall o' wiener: when I decorated my foyer with sausage.

Pumpkin juice + Chardonnay = Hallow'ine?

Impossible to track down: the Wherewolf.

The vampire was known for his awful puns. They called him Count Dreckula.

 The giant sea-lizard was a bit of a practical joker. They called him Goadzilla.

We all know about the rash of unexplained deaths in the village of Sleepy Hollow.
But, as an unfortunate sidebar, to deal with all the corpses was a most incompetent funeral director,
nicknamed the Heedless Hearseman.

Hansel and Gretel must have misread the invitation – they thought they'd been asked to join the witches coven!

Do posh demons go cruising in a coupe devil?


 

Some prefer getting candy on Halloween, but two days later I like to go out and collect shoes. I call it All Soles Day.

The wandering minstrel was excited about trick-or-treating. He said, “I hear there's gonna be lute!”

My house is haunted by the ghosts of a thousand chickens. It's just like that movie, Poultrygeist.

The Irishman was visited by a ghost while making moonshine. "I can't sleep at night," the man said, "it haunts me still. " (Irish accent needed)

Mary Shelley wrote about her good friend Benjamin Franklin's obsession with German beer. She called it ‘Frank and stein'.

Where do zombies 'get down'? In the raveyard. (A good place to get tombstoned?)

You hear about the play they staged in a cemetery? It got grave reviews.


Was the TV newsman haunted by his exact double? Yes, it was a Koppelganger.

Skeletonnes are heavier than they look.

A skeleton's favourite Billy Idol song? ‘Bony Bony…'.


 

Never ask a warlock where he works: it tends to be a ‘sorce' spot.

In Canada the werewolves are obsessed with ‘hockey hairdos'. In fact they can only be killed with a silver mullet.

When demons go to university, they get to take a lot of hellectives.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: costumes; halloween; ofst; silliness
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 101-104 next last

1 posted on 10/26/2012 6:04:10 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Woohoo!! It’s finally Friday!!


2 posted on 10/26/2012 6:04:48 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Iss zis vere ve come for ze zilliness?

I am ready for ze zilliness!


3 posted on 10/26/2012 6:05:34 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

TOP 10!!!!!


4 posted on 10/26/2012 6:05:54 AM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Top Ten!

Good Morning!


5 posted on 10/26/2012 6:06:18 AM PDT by Disambiguator (Re-electing Obama is not optimal.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Trick or treat. TOP TEN!!!!!!!!!!


6 posted on 10/26/2012 6:07:55 AM PDT by NCC-1701 (The LEFT's intolerance of the RIGHT is intolerable.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

In !!!


7 posted on 10/26/2012 6:09:20 AM PDT by 21stCenturion ("It's the Judges, Stupid !")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NCC-1701

Ze zilliness, please. Zis hass bean a zerious veek. I am much in need of ze zilliness.

8 posted on 10/26/2012 6:10:01 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

AND NOW....

THE HEIGHT OF

CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST


You Should Be an Action Hero for Halloween
According to our quiz, you'd make an ideal action hero.
Your runner up costume: Gangster
The Halloween Costume Generator
Blogthings: All Things Halloween

9 posted on 10/26/2012 6:10:48 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ArGee


Christopher Walken is a natural at Halloween. No mask needed.
10 posted on 10/26/2012 6:13:33 AM PDT by NCC-1701 (The LEFT's intolerance of the RIGHT is intolerable.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Top 100. Happy Friday!


11 posted on 10/26/2012 6:14:10 AM PDT by kevinm13 (Tim Geithner is a tax cheat. Manmade "Global Warming" is a HOAX!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NCC-1701

12 posted on 10/26/2012 6:17:57 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Dad: Here’s the deal, kid. You go up to the door and ask for candy.

Kid: Why? What did I do to deserve them giving me candy?

Dad: You didn’t do anything to deserve it. You get it just because you’re alive.

Kid: OK.

Dad: And if they don’t give it to you, you threaten them with a trick.

Kid: Wait, I didn’t do anything to deserve it, but I have the right to get mad and threaten them with a trick if they don’t give it to me?

Dad: That’s right.

Kid: Are we Democrats?

Halloween - teaching kids to be Democrats since 1947.


13 posted on 10/26/2012 6:18:22 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: ArGee

Come to my door, you must.

Bark at you, I will.

14 posted on 10/26/2012 6:32:06 AM PDT by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

TOP 20! YAY!!!


15 posted on 10/26/2012 6:37:03 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

It’s almost Halloween and no pictures of Hilary, Mooshell, Pelosi, or Helen Thomas? What gives?


16 posted on 10/26/2012 6:37:08 AM PDT by dragonblustar (Allah Ain't So Akbar!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
What did the Wolf-Man say when he got saved?

 


17 posted on 10/26/2012 6:38:09 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather..

Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

-------

People always say the thing they were looking for was in the last place they looked. Of course it was. What type of moron would you have to be to keep searching after you found it?

-------

I have no trouble at all with the button on my jeans.

Its a snap.

-------

If I had a dollar for every time a woman told me I'm hansome, I'd have one dollar.

Thanks mom.

------

My girlfriend told the police I'm stalking her! Can you believe it?

Well, she's not my girlfriend just yet...

-----

How long a minute is depends entirely on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

-----


18 posted on 10/26/2012 6:40:00 AM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

19 posted on 10/26/2012 6:40:39 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dragonblustar
It’s almost Halloween and no pictures of Hilary, Mooshell, Pelosi, or Helen Thomas? What gives?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Be patient. They were getting on their costumes....


20 posted on 10/26/2012 6:42:34 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 101-104 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson