Posted on 10/27/2012 11:57:26 AM PDT by chasio649
Next time you find yourself in a smart wine bar, pilates studio or high-end boutique, cast an eye about and see if you don't spot a SWOFTY. A what? A SWOFTY - aka a Single Woman Over Fifty who, in between salon visits and sips of martini, is turning the traditional image of middle-aged womanhood on its head. Or ignoring it all together.
Cats, cardigans and canasta nights might be hallmarks of - gulp - spinsterhood in the popular imagination, but they have little to do with how this emerging demographic segment spends its time. SWOFTYs are much more likely to be exercising, dining out, tweeting and booking spa holidays in Thailand.
"There's a lot of baggage around being a single older woman," explains demographer Mark McCrindle, "but these women are breaking that stereotype and reinventing what that life stage looks like. Their collective power in terms of health, education, fashion, beauty - everything - puts a lot of energy in this social category."
And this social category puts a lot of energy into fashion and beauty. Dressing youthfully, even provocatively, is a big part of the SWOFTY code - think teetering heels, luxe accessories and a hint of animal print. But make no mistake, the SWOFTY is, at best, a distant cousin of that other much-analysed female phenomenon, the Cougar.
Unlike sexually-aggressive older women with a predilection for younger men, SWOFTYs aren't on the prowl. In fact, the full head of blonde highlights, the $400 jeans and the nights out on the town have nothing to do with meeting a man. "According to social norms, the stigma around being divorced or single is lifting," explains academic and social commentator Dr Karen Brooks. "These women feel empowered and incredibly comfortable in their own skin."
Their sartorial choices might err on the sexy side, but they're not making choices with men in mind. Quite the opposite, actually. In a recent poll of 1000 women over 50 by online retailer Isme.com, more than 60 per cent of respondents said the best thing about being single is being able to wear whatever they want, independent of a partner's opinion. And generally, that means dressing with more va-va-voom than they did when they were young, the same women said.
Of course, confident older women who are well groomed, physically fit and rocking a pair of leopard leggings would be considered catnip by many chaps. And SWOFTYs might dabble in internet dating, but it's a hobby rather than a raison d'être.
A separate survey found that 600,000 older women in the UK - a mixture of widows, divorcees and singletons - are opting for the single life. And according to Isme.com, a third of these women were enjoying their freedom so much, they were unlikely to settle down again.
Case in point, Christie Brinkley who, at 58, could be the poster girl for SWOFTYhood. "I can now say I would never get married again," the four-time divorcee said recently. "There's absolutely no reason to." But that doesn't mean the former supermodel is putting up her slippered feet with a tray of Krispy Kremes. Brinkley maintains a youthful physique with surfing, kayaking, paddleboarding, yoga, tennis and even a recent turn in the Broadway musical Chicago. Age and marriage have nothing to do with who she is, Brinkley says, like a true SWOFTY: "My age has so little to do with my image of myself. I don't feel that number is representative of my spirit, my energy or my anything."
Although society glamorises youth, our 20s and 30s are now consumed by mortgage payments, childcare and work pressures. The kind of pursuits Brinkley and her SWOFTY sisters enjoy would seem like a distant dream to many young women.
"Once you cross over that dreaded threshold and the burdens of youth are lifted, you have independence and time for yourself," says Brooks. "These could turn out to be the golden years, something to embrace."
Although Brooks worries that, like Cougar, the SWOFTY label could be pejorative, she agrees it may be empowering for women. "It's reassuring to know there are others acting as you do." And as far as labels go, SWOFTY is a lot better than 'spinster'. Or 'cat lady'.
SWOFTYS
Kim Cattrall She played the ultimate SWOFTY on Sex and the City, but how does the real deal compare for the 56-year-old? "I think, especially at this point in my life, I feel pretty happy," she said recently. "I like who I've become and it's always changing. I'm kind of embracing that." And on her fitness regimen? "I don't do it for a guy; I do it for me."
Elle MacPherson Lucky in the gene pool, but not so lucky in love, the Aussie model/TV presenter is just two years shy of fully-fledged Swoftyhood. To maintain her killer physique, the 48-year-old follows the famed 'clean and lean' Duigan diet, and indulges in regular facials, acupuncture and pilates.
Sheryl Crow Two preschool-age sons would be enough to keep the 50-year-old on the 'right' side of middle age, but the single mum (who was engaged to Lance Armstrong but has never married) is also a devoted jogger, surfer and Tracy Anderson enthusiast.
Heather Locklear Former TV star and rock wife, Locklear called off her third engagement in 2007 and has since been revelling in her SWOFTY status. Leaving her 51st birthday party at a swanky Malibu restaurant recently, Locklear was snapped in a mini skirt and thigh-high boots. She's also no stranger, reports say, to the occasional hit of Botox.
Paula Abdul The 'Forever Young' SWOFTY was married twice in the '90s and has since been lapping up singledom, dating younger men such as restaurateur JT Torregiani and businessman John Caprio. The 50-year-old former dancer swears by her gyrokenesis exercise machine and says another of her age-defying secrets is a kale and spinach juice she drinks daily.
Notable mentions These ladies might be in relationships, but there's still a touch of the SWOFTY about them: Sonia Kruger, Kerri-Anne Kennerley, Melanie Griffith, Madonna, Sharon Stone
What’s fun and inspiring about following a crazy diet and hooking up with interchangeable putzes?
Oh, look!!
A cute, hip new term to try mingle into a social class another group of people! And yet another group of people who need to be socialized because they feel themselves lurking at the fringes of society.
How collectivist!
I know some single women over 50 who remained single by choice and who remained childless by abortion. Not the kind of people I like to hang around with. No shortage of insults for “breeders” and most need slings to carry their arms after they throw their shoulders out patting themselves on the back.
Fifty and over is not middle aged. Good job on being single, independent, drinking wine, exercising, and, possibly, for owning lots of cats. But, these are not middle-aged women.
I really wonder what the true intent of the article is.
And don't forget the "family resemblance".
After their plastic surgeries, they all look like sisters!
You have women who were uninterested in the men willing to love them back when they were young. They are now older and telling themselves they don’t need a man. They will likely die alone.
I’ll see your “SWOFTY” and raise you some truth: 50+ and childless = Darwin Award.
We’ll see how they like being a SWOS (Single Woman Over Seventy).
Old age is a bitch when you are alone.
old sluts. I guess they wanted an acronym too
Although not quite fifty, I have pursuits that'd terrify a young gal with lots of confidence and energy. The things I am pursuing as an older, married woman would have been outlawed for 'older, married gals' in the old days. But with a solid mate that has his own life and belief in God and all that He has given, I am making Him proud (or at least trying to).
It isn't over until it's over ladies and gentlemen :-D. God is large and in charge and doesn't care about society's definition of age. We all were put here for a reason and it doesn't stop when we get older.
Most all the women listed DO have children. Many of the kids are grown and have moved on to their own lives. As it should be. As God intended.
SWOFTY = Losers
You are right on the money! Literally. As much of what they mentioned takes both money and time. Having said that I am sure a woman who does eat well and can find more inexpensive versions of these pursuits (like a road trip to Taos NM and an inexpensive massage when they get there could be a nice substitute.) Also eating healthfully and self care does not have to cost much. One can walk, jog, cycle, do body weight exercises at home and meditate and pray. All of which have miraculous results in one's beauty no matter how much money or physical gifts given by God.
I do believe there can be a working Mom's and wife's version of this that can enhance an older woman's engagement in her world and make her family proud.
No husband or child wants a fat, self consumed, spiritually dead wife or Mom. (Unless of course the hubby is himself these things) Taking life by the horns as an older woman can inspire not only the children, but the hubby as well.
You are right on the money! Literally. As much of what they mentioned takes both money and time. Having said that I am sure a woman who does eat well and can find more inexpensive versions of these pursuits (like a road trip to Taos NM and an inexpensive massage when they get there could be a nice substitute.) Also eating healthfully and self care does not have to cost much. One can walk, jog, cycle, do body weight exercises at home and meditate and pray. All of which have miraculous results in one's beauty no matter how much money or physical gifts given by God.
I do believe there can be a working Mom's and wife's version of this that can enhance an older woman's engagement in her world and make her family proud.
No husband or child wants a fat, self consumed, spiritually dead wife or Mom. (Unless of course the hubby is himself these things) Taking life by the horns as an older woman can inspire not only the children, but the hubby as well.
A separate survey found that 600,000 older women in the UK - a mixture of widows, divorcees and singletons - are opting for the single life. And according to Isme.com, a third of these women were enjoying their freedom so much, they were unlikely to settle down again.
You are right on the money! Literally. As much of what they mentioned takes both money and time. Having said that I am sure a woman who does eat well and can find more inexpensive versions of these pursuits (like a road trip to Taos NM and an inexpensive massage when they get there could be a nice substitute.) Also eating healthfully and self care does not have to cost much. One can walk, jog, cycle, do body weight exercises at home and meditate and pray. All of which have miraculous results in one's beauty no matter how much money or physical gifts given by God.
I do believe there can be a working Mom's and wife's version of this that can enhance an older woman's engagement in her world and make her family proud.
No husband or child wants a fat, self consumed, spiritually dead wife or Mom. (Unless of course the hubby is himself these things) Taking life by the horns as an older woman can inspire not only the children, but the hubby as well.
apologies hinkley for the multiple posts. My fingers didn’t have the patience to wait for editing today, but wanted to get it right in spite of my enthusiasm. lol.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.