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(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL SOCIALIST FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

Posted on 11/09/2012 4:33:01 AM PST by Lucky9teen

There is an imposter among us...

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang.
He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened.

When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.

"Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"

"Honestly?" she replied.

The politician's smiled faded. "Aw, Ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"

To Obama...



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: fraud; imposter; ofst; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen

So, for those who seem to think silliness means announcing their spot on the list, does that mean Top 12 = Top 10 this week?


21 posted on 11/09/2012 5:50:41 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: Arrowhead1952
I'd like to join Commander Riker in applauding your most excellent post:


22 posted on 11/09/2012 5:52:28 AM PST by Old Sarge (We are officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet...)
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To: ArGee
A quick lesson.

This is silly.

It shows someone who is not thinking exactly right, but might not actually cause harm.

This is not silly, this is dangerous.

Make sure you know the difference.

23 posted on 11/09/2012 5:56:43 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee

Thank you for summing that up.

24 posted on 11/09/2012 5:58:08 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee
Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?"

"Yes, sir! I'd put all the men on one island and the women on another."

"And what would they be doing then?"

"Building boats!"

25 posted on 11/09/2012 6:00:34 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee
A man is complaining to a friend: “I had it all, money, a beautiful house, a nice car, a great motorcycle, the love of a beautiful woman. Then it was all gone!”

“What happened?” asks the friend.

“My wife found out!” replied the man.

26 posted on 11/09/2012 6:01:14 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: Lucky9teen

This Veterans Day, let's not forget the hundreds of thousands of men who lost their lives in defense of EBT cards, gay sex, and Muslim sympathizers.

Silly enough?

27 posted on 11/09/2012 6:08:29 AM PST by workerbee (The President of the United States is DOMESTIC ENEMY #1)
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To: Lucky9teen
Sometimes, ya just gotta..


28 posted on 11/09/2012 6:09:07 AM PST by Old Sarge (We are officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet...)
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To: ArGee
A husband and wife were debating on buying a new car. She wanted a fast sports car. He wanted a pickup. As time passed on, her birthday came up and she thought it a great time to fulfill her wish.

She told her husband, “Look, I want something that can go from 0 to 200. Furthermore, I want it to be able to do it in just a few seconds!”

The husband bought her a bathroom scale.

(The funeral is at 3:00pm Wednesday)

29 posted on 11/09/2012 6:12:26 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night, so they created a night watchman position (GS-4) and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning position and hired two people: one person to write the instructions (GS-12) and one person to do time studies (GS-11).

Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Q.C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.

Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?” So they created the following positions, a timekeeper (GS-09) and a payroll officer (GS-11) and hired two people.

Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”

So they created an administrative position and hired three people: an Admin. Officer (GM-13), an Assistant Admin. Officer (GS-13) and a Legal Secretary (GS-08).

Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost,” so they laid off the night watchman.

30 posted on 11/09/2012 6:14:01 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee
So, here I am at work and I suddenly realized, "What in blazes am I doing? Obama won on Tuesday. This is the new America. If you can't beat 'em, you should join 'em.

Someone please send me my unemployment check. I'll get back to you on the free birth control after dark.

31 posted on 11/09/2012 6:36:22 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee
Dear Mr. Obama, My car is on its last legs. Please send me a new Chevy Malibu. You can send the bill to Michael Moore.

Sincerely,
ArGee

P.S. None of that Volt crap. I need a car, not a heater.

32 posted on 11/09/2012 6:37:46 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee

The wife and hubby were sitting at a table at a high school reunion, and Wife kept staring at a drunken guy swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

Hubby asked, ‘Do you know him?’

‘Yes,’ she sighed, ‘He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.’

‘Been celebrating that long, has he?’

And then the fight started...


33 posted on 11/09/2012 6:39:50 AM PST by Old Sarge (We are officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet...)
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To: Lucky9teen; Bride Of Old Sarge

I tried to talk my new wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....


34 posted on 11/09/2012 6:43:40 AM PST by Old Sarge (We are officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet...)
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To: Lucky9teen; Bride Of Old Sarge

My new wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.

I told her, not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.

And then the fight started.....


35 posted on 11/09/2012 6:44:51 AM PST by Old Sarge (We are officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet...)
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To: Lucky9teen

That’s a salt.


36 posted on 11/09/2012 6:46:54 AM PST by TheOldLady
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To: Old Sarge

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man ‘Holy crap. That must be my husband!’

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your husband!’

The woman yelled back, ‘Yeah, then why were you running?’

And then the fight started…..


37 posted on 11/09/2012 6:47:02 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: Lucky9teen; Bride Of Old Sarge

Just before we were married, I asked my bride, “Where do you want to go for our honeymoon?”

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

“Somewhere that would be a once in a lifetime experience!” she said.

I said, “Well, that leaves the kitchen out...”

And then the fight started....


38 posted on 11/09/2012 6:49:13 AM PST by Old Sarge (We are officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet...)
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To: Lucky9teen

My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, “I want you. Make love to me.”

“No,” she answered. I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.”

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started...


39 posted on 11/09/2012 6:53:01 AM PST by Old Sarge (We are officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet...)
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To: ArGee

John was a salesman’s delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick.

His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.

One day, John came home with another one of his unusual purchases.

It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was just about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.

‘Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?’, they asked.

‘Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project’ said Tommy.

The Robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

‘Son, this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you went after school.’

‘We went to Bobby’s house and watched a movie.’

‘What did you watch?’ asked Marsha.

‘The Ten Commandments.’ answered Tommy.

The Robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.

With lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, ‘I am sorry I lied.

We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.’

‘I’m ashamed of you Son,’ said John. ‘When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.’

The robot then walked around to John and delivered a roundhouse right that nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha was bent double laughing, almost in tears.

‘Boy, did you ever ask for that one! And you can’t be too mad with Tommy. After all, He is your son!’

The Robot immediately walked around to Marsha, and slapped her three times.


40 posted on 11/09/2012 6:53:13 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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