Vanity: For My Dad, who has Alzheimer's

Sad heart | 11/10/12 | Self

[Yaelle]

Thank you, and to everyone on this thread saying such nice supportive things.

<3 freepers rock.

[Bigg Red]

My heart goes out to you, FRiend. My dear mother had senile dementia for a few years before she passed away in 2007. This is very hard, I know. Prayers up for you and hugs to you.

[Heart-Rest]

What you wrote is so very moving.

Praying for your Dad and for you and your family.

"How precious is thy steadfast love, O God! The children of men take refuge in the shadow of thy wings." Psalms 36:7

[melsec]

Having a child like you must have made him so proud!

Blessings

Mel

[TomMore]

visiting grandma, her friend and friend’s husband came over for a dinner
friend - smiling and happy, what a beautiful home!
chit chat, chit chat
friend - happy and smiling again, what a beautiful home!
chit chat, chit chat
repeat, repeat, etc.

but, to be half that happy and gracious . . .

bless you and your father

[Sun]

What a beautiful OP.

My dad had Alz., too, and while the mood swings were bad, we look back at the many good days, like when we took him to the sing-a-longs, and he sang & remembered every word of those old songs, and was so happy, he took me by the hand, and kept singing and smiling. And we remember all the times my brother played “pitch & catch” with him in his room, even though the Alz. became very severe, and he still loved children and dogs.

[SuziQ]

Oh, Yaelle, that brought tears to my eyes, remembering my mother's last few years. She was 'diagnosed' with Alzheimer's in late 1998, and lived for 6 years with that insidious disease. Thankfully, in the end, she still remembered her 8 children, and even her grand-children, but she was kinda fuzzy on the Great-Grands. The worst part was at the beginning, because she was extremely angry and scared, and lashed out at everyone who tried to help her. My oldest sister took that really hard, but we tried to tell her that it wasn't really Mother saying those things; it was the disease.

The first few years, we had a lovely lady who lived in and took care of her during the week, with my siblings coming in the on the weekends. Since I lived so far away, I was only able to come a couple of times, spending a week while the caregiver went on vacation with her family.

In her last couple of years, she was in a nursing home, and was pretty happy, because she made a whole new set of friends every single day, and the nurses and aides, for the most part, were very sweet to her.

[SuziQ]

We loved her and mourned her passing, but it was a relief and a blessing when she did. I’m very torn about saying that, and disagree profoundly with some of the conclusions others might reach as a result of such an observation. She lived her full life and died a natural death.

I know exactly what you mean, and our family felt the same way. When my younger sister called me to let me know, my first words were "Thank God". My mother had been 'ready to go' for years, but she was in good health, other than the dementia, until the last year, when she declined pretty steadily.

Her 'calling hours' at the funeral home was a raucous party in honor of a funny and very sweet lady. It's a good thing there was not another family in the building that night; they might have been scandalized by our behavior. There were tears, for sure, but many more laughs and good memories.