Petition Calls For White House To Bail Out Twinkie Industry

consumerist ^

[traumer]

If the federal government can bail out the banking and auto industries, why can’t it do the same for Twinkies, the beloved, spongy, cream-centered treats that are vanishing off store shelves — possibly forever — with the news that Hostess Brands is going the way of the Dodo, which is surprisingly not the name of one of its many products.

Over at WhiteHouse.gov, more than 350 hardworking Americans have already taken time out of all that working hard to put their name to a petition asking President Obama to nationalize the Twinkie industry and “prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center.”

(Side Note: We hope some web-metrics person out there is putting together a measurement of the number of times “sweet creamy center” has been posted online today.) So if you believe that Twinkies are too sweet to fail, feel free to put your name on the petition.

We’re holding out hope that some other company sees the value in Twinkies (and Ho Ho’s, and maybe even Drake’s Cakes) and saves the government from having to answer years of questions about how it let the U.S. slip farther back in the international snack cake race.

In the meantime, sites like HoardTheHostess are already documenting today’s disastrous news.

[Huskrrrr]

Watch for a government mandate to buy Twinkies soon after.

[Huskrrrr]

Watch for a government mandate to buy Twinkies soon after.

[smoothsailing]

Accept no bailout! :)

[Leo Carpathian]

Over at WhiteHouse.gov, more than 350 hardworking Americans have already taken time out of all that working hard to put their name to a petition asking President Obama to nationalize the Twinkie industry and “prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center.”

Phase 2 of Obamunism: Tax and force companies and businesses into hardship, not able to pay taxes and mediscare.

The next step: "You did not build your business" so we nationalize it, gummit will take over and run it.

Stand by for 60 years of nightmare: It was already tried and "worked" known as Soviet Union.

America wake up and impeach the Kenyan!!!!

[tje]

Michelle won’t allow it...

[lbryce]

We all know how much Obama love dem twinkies.The younger the better.

[Carriage Hill]

Is this satire?

[xrmusn]

Watch for a government mandate to buy Twinkies soon after
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
FIRST, ‘they’ will buy it.

When it is firmly in hand ‘they’ WILL BAN TWINKIES etal.

Maybe I can sue for ‘reparations’ because the Navy trained me to be a Morse Code Operator, I got real good at it, then one day I woke up and they said - We don’t need Morse Code Operators anymore so either change your field or you are finished.
Also had a Great Uncle that was a buggy whip salesman.

If these idiots were around throughout the course of history, we would be paying buggy whip salesman, stage coach drivers and Morse Code Operators.

[bravo whiskey]

already done the twink(ie) just got reelected.

[I cannot think of a name]

“Petition Calls For White House To Bail Out Twinkie Industry”

Support for gay marriage wasn’t enough? What more do those darn homosexuals want?

[FrankR]

I think he means the "taxpayer" to bail out Twinkies.

IF that should happen, it will be bailing out the UNIONS, not the company...just like GM.

And, insofar as I agree with the principles and the reasons of shutting down the union oppressed company, and there will be no Twinkies anyway, I will treat it like GM and not buy any Twinkies made by a bailed out company of unions.

Unions are communism, protection rackets, and thugs, starve them out.

[Sacajaweau]

Where’s Michelle, the nanny chef??