Posted on 11/19/2012 1:19:23 AM PST by MacMattico
With all of the problems going on in the world, this is trivial, hence the vanity post. But an example of what's going on in our schools and who thinks they control our kids.
My niece signed up for what should have been a simple, easy "A" grade HS class. Purely an elective, having nothing to do with requirements or career. Turns out the teacher is a real piece of work. He's intimidating and creepy. (My nieces words.) I asked if anything had happened to make her feel "creepy" and she just said she doesn't like the feeling she gets when she's alone near him.
Her mother gave her permission to drop the class and take a study hall, as she is already taking a heavy load of courses and this may ease her workload. But the school refuses! They keep saying the add/drop period is over and if she doesn't show up she will receive zero's in every other quarter as well as on the final exam! Of course, they remind her, this will take her 90+ average overall and wreck that as well. Can a school do this? My sister doesn't have a lot of $ for an attorney and I just think this is wrong.
Great idea to teach a young girl to act like she was molested.
All we know is that she feels creepy, whatever that exactly means. Until one knows what it exactly means one cannot know what to do.
How about the mother sits down with her and asks her point blank questions to find the truth. Only then can one form the right strategy.
Bingo. Make them live by their own rules.
She should fake a sexual assault?
Not a very helpful addition to this thread. Leave fake rape-charges to the Tawana Brawleys of this world.
Bureaucrats like to take the path of least resistance.
You and the child's mother can get the response you wish by making it easier for the Bureaucrat to do what you wish than what the "creepy" teacher wishes.
Bureaucrats don't like "complications" so, be very complicated. Don't be rude or threatening but be firm and relentless. A phone call each and every day asking to resolve this issue in favor of your side's position is a good start but actual hard copy is better. Hard copy on legal letterhead (that of a reputable attorney) is the gold standard. Such is the most complicated of all complications that a bureaucrat must endure. A followup phone call by an attorney (or several) is Kryptonite to any and all bureaucrats. They know the attorney will be keeping records and bureaucrats don't like things to be on record.
Maybe a head to head sit down where your position can be presented in a firm manner without emotion just understood concern for your daughter's (and the school's) reputation.
Your opinion is noted
I prefer my idea but you’re welcome to your unworkable one.
Yes, the school can do that. Creepy people are a fact of life. Not much anyone can do about that other than learn to deal.
It will scare the crap out of him.
Someone mentioned a book, “The Gift of Fear”, I recommend it also. It teaches that we have many subconscious ways in which we recognize danger, but modern civilization doesn't like to think a gut reaction has validity. It does!
She should keep a digital recorder on her, as Fresh Wind recommended, and be briefed on how to deal with unwanted touching, and be sure to immediately report any harassing interaction to the school office, with a CC of the writeup to her mom to hold for potential lawyer.
She doesn’t necessarily even need to talk about dropping the course; just that her daughter feels extremely uncomfortable around this teacher, and even more so at the thought of having to spend unsupervised one-on-one time with that teacher.
Will skipping the individual instruction tank her grade, if she excels in other aspects of the class? Or is there a friend that can be present during individual instruction, maybe catching up on studying? Even at the college level, I have a big problem with a student being alone with an instructor or the opposite sex.
At which point she discovers that "Uncle Creepy", for his and the school's protection, had a hidden video recorder in the room. In this environment, if I were a teacher, I would be discretely recording at all times that I was alone with a student for my own protection.
What do you think the aftermath of THAT, and having to legally defend from a lawsuit by the teacher and school for malicious libel, will do for her reputation?
....make sure you keep RECORDS of all that is being done. The requests and results. When speaking to people “take names
dates and remarks”. When talking to anyone, make SURE THEY GIVE NAMES....the next person higher up, remind them, your taking to them because someone lower could not satisfy your requests. So on and so forth.....sooner or later someone is going to respond because they don’t like being included in the scam.
The higher you go the more the names become important.....people don’t like having their names recorded anywhere.....because of legalities involved. Always have a note pad and pen available. Always mention the people you spoke to before to the next level. The object here is to make aware your not stopping until your satisfied, and everyone and anyone is being “noted” as far as their response
As PapaBear and Fresh Wind have suggested - have her record the next session....we all have recording devices on us at all times - Use a smart-phone, or borrow someone elses and put the video cam on during the next session.
Do it covertly or in the open.
Covertly will get his actions recorded.
Out in the Open method will curtail anything that may be happening.
I vote for Covertly.
Any other action she or her mother does will be a “He said-She said” scenario.
The creepy doesn’t have to be unwanted touching. Predators condition victims many times. And this BS about expecting a young, vulnerable girl withstanding this because she will have to as an adult is maddening. Never in my adult life have I had to withstand the assault on my very being like I did in secondary school.
Hi,
I agree with the others—your niece should absolutely trust her instincts, and her mom must back her up. I say this as a 50 year-old woman who, as a teenager, experienced a lot of inappropriate attention from a family member.
Her mother could attend the class with her daughter, as has been suggested, or perhaps speak with authorities. I wonder why there is no group instruction at her level—that should not be happening. It seems to me that the board would insist on small groups—particularly if there is at least one student who feels creeped out by the teacher. (have there been other female students who feel the same?)
I don’t know what state she lives in—but a look into the laws might help (I got a law degree in Colorado). You never know. If it comes to the worst, contact a public defender, if there are no other options.
Her safety is priority number one.
You’re a great aunt, to care so much. :)
Out of curiosity, which year of HS is your niece in? Senior? Junior?
I don’t get some of these posters. This is an incredibly vulnerable young girl. Even if he never does a thing, his behavior could affect her making her more susceptible to another predator.
A side note, my dad had a habit of showing up at school if something offended him about what happened to me. He understood I needed protection given an unstable childhood prior to his adopting me. He would make principals scurry.
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