To: Elsie; Zakeet; colorcountry; restornu
posted on 12/12/2012 5:53:38 AM PST
by Utah Binger
(Southern Utah where the world comes to see America)
To: Utah Binger; Colofornian
You forgot Colofornian ... he/she’s allways good for an Anti-Mormon psychotic rant!
posted on 12/12/2012 6:04:47 AM PST
(... for my God ... for my Family ... for my Country)
To: Utah Binger
Back in my teenage years, we couldn’t wear slacks in the chapel even to clean it for a service project. I remember being down on hands and knees polishing the pews in a mini skirt and thinking about all the ridiculous rules that little “g” god had created for me to work myself into the c.e.l.e.s.t.i.a.l kingdom. I figured I was working for a really weird god - and I was.
posted on 12/12/2012 7:40:10 AM PST
(The gospel will transform our politics, not vice versa (Romans 12:1,2))
To: Utah Binger
No Pants Ping!
Well; them well dressed pairs that show up at your door sure won't be wearing pants!
- Learn and obey all missionary rules.
- Keep your thoughts, words, and actions in harmony with the gospel message.
- Read only books, magazines, and other material authorized by the Church.
- Don't debate or argue.
- Center your mind on your mission.
- Dress conservatively. Elders: white shirts, conservative ties, and business suits. Sisters: conservative colors and skirts that cover your knees. No floor-length skirts or dresses.
- Cut your hair regularly.
- Keep your hair clean and neatly combed at all times in the approved style.
- Be neat and clean.
- Bathe frequently.
- Use deodorant.
- Polish your shoes.
- Iron your shirt and business suit.
- Arise at 6:30 A.M.
- Study for 2 hours every morning.
- Proselytize for 10 hours between 9:30 A.M. and 9:30 P.M.
- Turn off your lights at 10:30 P.M.
- Exercise regularly.
- Write in your journal regularly.
- Follow the "Missionary Gospel Study Program" (31157) for your personal study.
- Regularly study the Missionary Guide and the Discussions.
- Attend Sunday priesthood or Relief Society meetings, Sunday School, and sacrament meeting.
- Attend the general session of Stake Conference.
- Attend general conference broadcasts if available.
- Avoid all other church meetings unless you have a special assignment or are brining an investigator.
- Proselytize as much as possible on weekends and holidays because this is when you'll find people home.
- End your preparation day at 6:00 P.M. and proselytize from 6:00 P.M. to 9:30 P.M.
- Wear your missionary uniform in public on preparation day while not engaged in recreational activities.
- Arise at 6:30 on preparation day and study for 2 hours from the approved books.
- Take care of your physical preparation for the week on preparation day: wash your clothes, clean your apartment, wash your car, get your haircut, and shop for groceries.
- Write to your parents every week on preparation day.
- Write less frequently to your siblings, friends, and acquaintances.
- Don't communicate with any friends or acquaintances that are within or close to your mission boundaries, except as a part of official mission business.
- Plan safe, wholesome, and uplifting activities for preparation day.
- Stay with your companion during all activities.
- Do not go on road trips.
- Do not leave your assigned area without permission
- Do not watch television.
- Do not view unauthorized videocassettes.
- Do not listen to the radio.
- Do not listen to unauthorized audiocassettes or CDs.
- Do not participate in musical groups.
- Do not participate in athletic teams.
- Do not sponsor athletic teams.
- Do not engage in contact sports.
- Do not engage in water sports.
- Do not engage in winter sports.
- Do not engage in motorcycling.
- Do not engage in horseback riding.
- Do not engage in mountain climbing.
- Do not embark on a private boat.
- Do not embark in a private airplane.
- Do not handle firearms.
- Do not handle explosives.
- Do not swim.
- Do not play full court basketball.
- Do not play basketball in leagues.
- Do not play basketball in tournaments.
- You may play half-court basketball.
- Never be alone.
- Seek advice from your mission president if your companion is "having difficulties".
- Be loyal to your companion.
- Ask your mission president for help if your companion doesnt obey the rules.
- Pray with your companion every day.
- Study with your companion every day.
- Plan your work with your companion every day.
- Take time at least once a week for companionship inventory.
- Seek to be one in spirit and purpose and help each other succeed.
- Always address your companion as Elder or Sister.
- Sleep in the same bedroom as your companion.
- Do not sleep in the same bed as your companion.
- Do not arise before your companion.
- Do not retire after your companion. (apparently, being together is more important than getting the correct amount of sleep that your unique body requires.)
- Frequently study with your companion the Missionary Guide section on companions.
- Never be alone with anyone of the opposite sex.
- Never associate inappropriately with anyone of the opposite sex (conversely, they don't mention whether or not it is against the rules to associate inappropriately with anyone of the same sex).
- Do not flirt.
- Do not date.
- Do not communicate via phone or letter with anyone of the opposite sex living within or near mission boundaries.
- Do not visit a single or divorced person of the opposite sex unless accompanied by a couple or another adult member of your sex.
- Try to teach single investigators in a members home or have missionaries of the same sex teach them.
- Always follow the above rules, even if the situation seems harmless.
- Use the commitment pattern to get referrals from members.
- Keep your dinner visits with member briefs and during the customary dinner hour in the area.
- Remember to say thank you to those who feed you.
- Visit members and nonmembers only at appropriate times.
- Do not counsel or give medical treatment.
- Do not stay in the homes of people when they are on vacation.
- Only write letters to family members and friends at home.
- Do not telephone parents
- Do not telephone relatives.
- Do not telephone friends.
- Do not telephone girlfriends.
- Contact your mission president in case of an emergency.
- Take problems and questions to your mission president.
- Do not write to the President of the Church or to other General Authorities. Letters from missionaries to General Authorities are referred back to the mission president
- Respect the customs, traditions, and property of the people who you are trying to convert.
- Obey all mission rules.
- Obey the laws of the land.
- Do not get involved in politics.
- Do not get involved in commercial activities.
- Do not give any information about the area.
- Respect the customs and cultures of those who you are trying to convert to your own customs and culture.
- Respect the beliefs, practices, and sites of other religions.
- Do not say or write anything bad about the political and cultural circumstances where you serve.
- Do not become involved in adoption proceedings.
- Do not suggest or encourage emigration. (This rule is a bit ironic, given the now-defunct doctrine of gathering the believers to Zion)
- Be courteous.
- Provide community service.
- Do not provide community service that isnt approved by your mission president.
- Do not provide more than 4 hours a week of community service.
- Do not provide community service during the evening, weekend or holidaysthose are peek proselytizing times.
- Your mission president must approve your housing.
- Keep your housing unit clean.
- Do not live with single or divorced people of the opposite sex.
- Do not live where the spouse is frequently absent.
- Your living unit must have a private bath and entrance.
- You may occasionally fast for a special reason, but generally the monthly fast is sufficient.
- Do not fast longer than 24 hours at a time.
- Do not ask friends, relatives, and members to join in special fasts for investigators.
- Maintain your health.
- Eat a healthy diet.
- Sleep from 10:30 to 6:30.
- Follow the approved exercise program.
- Keep your body, clothes, dishes, linens, towels and housing unit clean.
- Dispose of your garbage properly and promptly.
- Follow the safety rules for all of your stuff.
- Seek medical care if you are in an accident or become sick.
- Be immunized.
- Spend your money only on things relating to your mission.
- Budget your money carefully.
- Keep a record of what you spend.
- Do not spend more than your companion.
- Do not loan money.
- Do not borrow money.
- Keep a reserve fund of $50 to $100 at all times for transfers.
- Pay your bills before leaving an area.
- Pay cash for all resale literature and supplies ordered from the mission office.
- Do not waste money on souvenirs.
- Do not waste money on unnecessary items.
- Be a frugal photographer.
- Do not accumulate excess baggage.
- Obey custom laws and regulations.
- Pay fast offerings each fast Sunday to the bishop or branch president where you serve.
- Pay tithing on outside sources of income (i.e. interest) to your home bishop or branch president.
- Evaluate your funds a few months before the end of your mission. If you have more than you need, ask that less be sent so that you can return home without excess money.
- Do not drive without a license.
- Drive only Church-owned vehicles.
- Do not drive members cars.
- Do not drive nonmembers cars.
- Do not give rides to members or investigators in Church-owned cars.
- Use cars only on approved mission business.
- Use cars only within the assigned geographical area.
- Be conscious of safety at all times.
- Drive defensively.
- Wear your seat belt.
- Pray for the Lords protection while driving.
- If your companion is driving, assist him or her.
- Do not tamper with the vehicles odometer.
- Know bicycle safety rules.
- Use extreme caution on your bicycle.
- Do not ride your bicycle after dark.
- Do not ride your bicycle in heavy traffic.
- Do not ride your bicycle in adverse weather conditions.
- Go directly to your new area when transferred.
- Find your new companion without delay when transferred.
- Have a maximum of two suitcases and a briefcase.
posted on 12/12/2012 12:56:49 PM PST
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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