Skip to comments.Policy Statement from the Political Action Committee: Weapons Undermine Stable Societies (vanity)
Posted on 12/19/2012 1:28:17 PM PST by Rebel_Ace
Policy Statement from the Political Action Committee: Weapons Undermine Stable Societies (WUSS)
Given the epidemic proportions of ever escalating gun crises here in the United States, we, the members of WUSS call for the immediate implementation of the following Federal Policies:
(1) An Executive Order should require all toilet trained Males to urinate while seated on the commode. This would yield these immediate societal benefits: Males are not given repeated exercises in targeting, and arguments about leaving the seat up would vanish, contributing to domestic tranquility.
(2) Any public schools receiving Federal Money should suspend physical recreation activities during recess (such as "Dodge Ball" or "Tag") and instead encourage youth (especially Males) to engage in constructive role playing games (such games as "Bureaucrat and Citizen" or "SSI Recipient and Lawyer")
(3) Require all sales of NEW Video Gaming Consoles (such as XBOX, PlayStation or Wii) be shipped with a Federally Produced 3rd Person Ducker game. (Name to be announced later, but leading candidates are "Call of Doo Doo" and "I'll be Wearing HALOS 3")
(4) Call for an immediate Constitutional Convention, with the focus being on re-wording the Second Amendment to read: "A calm and docile public being necessary to the security of the State, the right of the people to write sternly worded letters shall not be infringed, unless such letters contain hate speech, racial epithets or references to firearms."
(5) The Following Words and Phrases should be stricken from any public document, and where possible, from any future publication, until they fall out of usage in the English Language (others to be added later, after our committee meeting):
|"Canon of Ethics"||"He (or She) is a Pistol"||"Half Cocked"|
|"Barrel of Fun"||"Shoot from the Hip"||"Trigger Happy"|
|"Bullet Train"||"Lock, Stock and Barrel"||"He Shoots, He Scores!"|
|"Riding Shotgun"||"Shotgun Wedding"||"In the Crosshairs"|
|"Hot Shot"||"Son of a Gun"||"Flash in the Pan"|
Next week's meeting will be held at the local Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Shop, where the topic of discussion will be the proposed merger with our like minded brothers that belong to Crazy Owners of Weapons Are Really Dangerous (COWARD)
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