Skip to comments.Formal Reprimand Issued To Flatulent Federal Worker
Posted on 12/21/2012 4:24:30 PM PST by rightwingintelligentsia
DECEMBER 21--A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded releasing the awful and unpleasant odor in his Baltimore office.
In a December 10 letter accusing him of conduct unbecoming a federal officer, the Social Security Administration employee was informed that his uncontrollable flatulence had created an intolerable and hostile environment for coworkers, several of whom have lodged complaints with supervisors.
The worker, a 38-year-old Maryland resident, reportedly submitted evidence that he suffered from some medical conditions that, at times, caused him to be unable to work full days. But a SSA manager noted in the reprimand letter that, nothing that you have submitted has indicated that you would have uncontrollable flatulence. It is my belief that you can control this condition.
(Excerpt) Read more at thesmokinggun.com ...
Also follow the 2 per person per visit limit!
This guy is no fool. A couple of more farts and he will be on Social Security disability and laughing every month when the check comes in.
I used to know a guy who could clear out an entire movie theater with one blast. He claimed to have some disease he picked up in Viet Nam.
I saw a documentary just a while back, a Dr said of Hitler “He ate only vegetables, took opiates at night (they cause constipation) and Methamphetamine during the day..No wonder the man had wind!”
There was an episode of an old TV show I liked (”Dead Like Me”) where an office worker had uncontrollable flatulence..it was a hoot! (or maybe a toot)
Two of them Fiber One bars for breakfast and I’m alone the rest of the day.
What constitutes “excessive workplace flatulence”?
“OK, Gene, here are the federal rules on farting. You can have three pants-splitters a day. You are only allowed one skunk-squeezer. And nothing that will leave a brown stripe in your underwear. Now, this does not include the state farting laws of Maryland, which, I’m told, really stink.”
Or one of these;
High fiber diet, a little metphormin and sugar free cough drops. clear the room boys!
When are we going to see reprimends for Federal employees who are full of sh*t?
Looks like he’s already done some workplace shooting.
Wonder if any of the incidents were like this;
I read a piece some time ago by someone who was present during his rants where he would be screaming with spittle flying and machine gun farting going on all at once. And of course, one wouldn’t dare laugh.
Obviously he should either be the elevator operator OR restroom attendant.
He needs ‘people exposure’ to ferret out the weaklings and force them to retire, thereby saving the Govt money.
:Here I sit, broken hearted,
Paid to $hit and only farted:
Indian food will carve you a new @$$ hole!...
An in-law, while in England during WWII, was coming back to base after a night of leave, and was arrested for relieving himself on the side of the road. I wish we had a copy of the citation which read:
“Urinating on the King’s Highway”
Work place flatulence?...Just fire back with a few bad Mexican burritos!...Don’t get mad get even! Just start your own Air Biscuit Air Force!
When I was stationed on Guam in 1956 one of the Marine guards at the main entrance of the main Navy base was written up by an Officer’s wife for farting on duty. The document said something like, “I observed Cpl..... lift his leg break wind and say aah.”
>>> “I read a piece some time ago by someone who was present during his rants where he would be screaming with spittle flying and machine gun farting going on all at once. And of course, one wouldnt dare laugh.”
Thank you for the visual. Oh, my achin’ sides (from LAUGHING, dangit)!