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Formal Reprimand Issued To Flatulent Federal Worker
The Smoking Gun ^ | December 21, 2012

Posted on 12/21/2012 4:24:30 PM PST by rightwingintelligentsia

DECEMBER 21--A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded “releasing the awful and unpleasant odor” in his Baltimore office.

In a December 10 letter accusing him of “conduct unbecoming a federal officer,” the Social Security Administration employee was informed that his “uncontrollable flatulence” had created an “intolerable” and “hostile” environment for coworkers, several of whom have lodged complaints with supervisors.

The worker, a 38-year-old Maryland resident, reportedly submitted evidence that he suffered from “some medical conditions” that, at times, caused him to be unable to work full days. But a SSA manager noted in the reprimand letter that, “nothing that you have submitted has indicated that you would have uncontrollable flatulence. It is my belief that you can control this condition.”

(Excerpt) Read more at thesmokinggun.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: fart; flatulence
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1 posted on 12/21/2012 4:24:42 PM PST by rightwingintelligentsia
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

And we wonder why people go on workplace shooting sprees.


2 posted on 12/21/2012 4:27:27 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: cripplecreek

Maybe he could join the Army and they could use his gift to gas out the enemies and cause them to surrender.


3 posted on 12/21/2012 4:28:35 PM PST by rovenstinez
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

He forgot to say “Here, pull this.” We humans never cease to amuse.


4 posted on 12/21/2012 4:29:27 PM PST by gorush (History repeats itself because human nature is static)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Federal Worker Takes “Farting Around” To A Whole New Level.


5 posted on 12/21/2012 4:31:27 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (U.S. elections have become nothing but another cheap ripoff of American Idol.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

The pic at the link is of he and his “wife” with Pepe Le Pew? Looks like two guys.


6 posted on 12/21/2012 4:33:04 PM PST by machogirl (First they came for my tagline, (it's back). 2008, the Decline of America)
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To: Slings and Arrows

“And just what is it you DO do?”


7 posted on 12/21/2012 4:39:52 PM PST by To Hell With Poverty (Ephesians 6:12 becomes more real to me with each news cycle.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

He probably eats menudo.


8 posted on 12/21/2012 4:39:58 PM PST by forgotten man (forgotten man)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

9 posted on 12/21/2012 4:41:22 PM PST by GenXteacher (You have chosen dishonor to avoid war; you shall have war also.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia
I don't know about this guy, but in 1963 I actually worked with a gentleman that honestly had this problem. It was confirmed to be a medical problem, and he wasn't terribly offensive, always indicating regret with a "sorry" or "pardon", and he gave as much distance as conditions would allow.

Otherwise, he was completely normal, married, kids and all.

10 posted on 12/21/2012 4:43:02 PM PST by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

A true stinking job environment!


11 posted on 12/21/2012 4:50:24 PM PST by Average Al
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

It was in Baltimore. How could you notice the smell over the general stink of the City? Lots of mayors and local politicians in jail. Lots of crime. Lots of corruption.

That is the real “stink” of Baltimore, not one guy with bowel problems.


12 posted on 12/21/2012 4:52:38 PM PST by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
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To: Navy Patriot
"I don't know about this guy, but in 1963 I actually worked with a gentleman that honestly had this problem. It was confirmed to be a medical problem, and he wasn't terribly offensive, always indicating regret with a "sorry" or "pardon", and he gave as much distance as conditions would allow."

Did he carry around an aerosol to offer a courtesy stray before he fired? ;-)

13 posted on 12/21/2012 4:53:18 PM PST by Average Al
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

The condition is probably “meteorism”. Adolph Hitler had the same condition.


14 posted on 12/21/2012 4:53:18 PM PST by Stormdog (A rifle transforms one from subject to Citizen)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Off we go into the wild blue yonder,
Climbing high into the sun;
Here they come zooming to meet our thunder,
At ‘em boys, Give ‘er the gas! (Give ‘er the gas now!)
Down we dive, spouting our flame from under,
Off with one heckuva roar!
We live in fame or go down in blue flames.
Hey! Nothing’ll stop the U.S. Air Farts!


15 posted on 12/21/2012 4:53:42 PM PST by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Says that he’s lactose intolerant but will get gas-X to help out.

I have a child who is lactose intolerant and avoids anything that cause the incredibly foul gas that results.


16 posted on 12/21/2012 4:55:24 PM PST by FrogMom (Chicken Little is coming, and he's right!)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

A steady diet of Fiber One bars will do it


17 posted on 12/21/2012 4:58:44 PM PST by AbnSarge
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Maybe he should stop going to Taco Bell for lunch.

18 posted on 12/21/2012 4:59:09 PM PST by 2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten
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To: rightwingintelligentsia
... A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence ...

Sadly, I never worked for a company that would award such an employee performance. We did have a co-worker who was a little smell challenged. The boss allowed an expense account reimbursement for the one who bought all the soap and deodorant ...

19 posted on 12/21/2012 4:59:12 PM PST by USMCPOP (Father of LCpl. Karl Linn, KIA 1/26/2005 Al Haqlaniyah, Iraq)
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To: machogirl

I agree.

I wonder if his wife is female.


20 posted on 12/21/2012 4:59:27 PM PST by bimboeruption (Clinging to my Bible and my HK.)
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To: 2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten

Also follow the 2 per person per visit limit!


21 posted on 12/21/2012 5:00:17 PM PST by 2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

This guy is no fool. A couple of more farts and he will be on Social Security disability and laughing every month when the check comes in.


22 posted on 12/21/2012 5:00:46 PM PST by Venturer
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

I used to know a guy who could clear out an entire movie theater with one blast. He claimed to have some disease he picked up in Viet Nam.


23 posted on 12/21/2012 5:05:15 PM PST by SWAMPSNIPER (The Second Amendment, a Matter of Fact, Not a Matter of Opinion)
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To: Stormdog

I saw a documentary just a while back, a Dr said of Hitler “He ate only vegetables, took opiates at night (they cause constipation) and Methamphetamine during the day..No wonder the man had wind!”

There was an episode of an old TV show I liked (”Dead Like Me”) where an office worker had uncontrollable flatulence..it was a hoot! (or maybe a toot)


24 posted on 12/21/2012 5:16:13 PM PST by Bobalu (It is not obama we are fighting, it is the media.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Two of them Fiber One bars for breakfast and I’m alone the rest of the day.


25 posted on 12/21/2012 5:22:58 PM PST by jughandle
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To: rightwingintelligentsia
He will now be required to wear one of these at work. Like "belling the cat."


26 posted on 12/21/2012 5:32:09 PM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Pennies and Nickels will NO LONGER be Minted as of 1/1/13 - Tim Geithner, US Treasury Sect)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia


27 posted on 12/21/2012 5:34:56 PM PST by GraceG
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

What constitutes “excessive workplace flatulence”?

“OK, Gene, here are the federal rules on farting. You can have three pants-splitters a day. You are only allowed one skunk-squeezer. And nothing that will leave a brown stripe in your underwear. Now, this does not include the state farting laws of Maryland, which, I’m told, really stink.”


28 posted on 12/21/2012 5:38:18 PM PST by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: yefragetuwrabrumuy

Or one of these;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsNZio6BHJk


29 posted on 12/21/2012 5:45:30 PM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: GraceG

High fiber diet, a little metphormin and sugar free cough drops. clear the room boys!


30 posted on 12/21/2012 5:49:04 PM PST by Dawggie
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To: rightwingintelligentsia
Okay, we've got an official reprimand for a Federal employee who is full of gas.

When are we going to see reprimends for Federal employees who are full of sh*t?

31 posted on 12/21/2012 5:57:11 PM PST by uglybiker (nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-BATMAN!)
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To: cripplecreek

Looks like he’s already done some workplace shooting.

Wonder if any of the incidents were like this;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwgJc45_KYM


32 posted on 12/21/2012 5:58:57 PM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: Bobalu

I read a piece some time ago by someone who was present during his rants where he would be screaming with spittle flying and machine gun farting going on all at once. And of course, one wouldn’t dare laugh.


33 posted on 12/21/2012 6:21:27 PM PST by Stormdog (A rifle transforms one from subject to Citizen)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Obviously he should either be the elevator operator OR restroom attendant.

He needs ‘people exposure’ to ferret out the weaklings and force them to retire, thereby saving the Govt money.

:Here I sit, broken hearted,
Paid to $hit and only farted:


34 posted on 12/21/2012 6:45:49 PM PST by xrmusn (6/98 "It is virtually impossible to clean the pond as long as the pigs are still crapping in it")
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To: forgotten man

Indian food will carve you a new @$$ hole!...


35 posted on 12/21/2012 6:52:42 PM PST by Route395
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

An in-law, while in England during WWII, was coming back to base after a night of leave, and was arrested for relieving himself on the side of the road. I wish we had a copy of the citation which read:

“Urinating on the King’s Highway”


36 posted on 12/21/2012 6:55:37 PM PST by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Work place flatulence?...Just fire back with a few bad Mexican burritos!...Don’t get mad get even! Just start your own Air Biscuit Air Force!


37 posted on 12/21/2012 7:00:10 PM PST by Route395
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To: P.O.E.

When I was stationed on Guam in 1956 one of the Marine guards at the main entrance of the main Navy base was written up by an Officer’s wife for farting on duty. The document said something like, “I observed Cpl..... lift his leg break wind and say aah.”


38 posted on 12/21/2012 7:37:57 PM PST by Islander2
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To: rightwingintelligentsia
I recently applied for SS (the regular kind,not SSI/SSDI) and had the misfortune of talking on the phone to the rudest government employee imaginable.And to think that four of this nation’s five richest counties aren’t suburbs of NYC...Chicago...LA...Philly...Dallas...but Washington DC,the *one* major US city that produces *nothing* of value.
39 posted on 12/21/2012 7:49:49 PM PST by Gay State Conservative (When Robbing Peter To Pay Paul,One Can Always Count On Paul's Cooperation)
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To: Stormdog

>>> “I read a piece some time ago by someone who was present during his rants where he would be screaming with spittle flying and machine gun farting going on all at once. And of course, one wouldn’t dare laugh.”

Thank you for the visual. Oh, my achin’ sides (from LAUGHING, dangit)!


40 posted on 12/21/2012 7:56:17 PM PST by Titan Magroyne (What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.)
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To: 2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten

(Quoting Dave Barry) “Bean burritos could help explain why most of Mexico is located outdoors.”


41 posted on 12/21/2012 8:09:50 PM PST by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam.")
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Is this really serious? Not satire?

I can tell you Gas-X is not going to work. Maybe Gaviscon (I haven’t tried, although I think it’s more stomach-centered than intestines-centered). I have lots of chronic digestive disease, and occasionally I have gas inside so bad it’s really painful. Gas-X relieves that, if you know what I mean.


42 posted on 12/21/2012 8:12:32 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
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To: MadMax, the Grinning Reaper

Actually the SS complex is literally west of the edge of real Baltimore. Our family friend lives down the street from it, and not much further is my aunt. Although I must say Woodlawn generally is not a real good place; takes the color of the worst of Baltimore.


43 posted on 12/21/2012 8:16:30 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia; Tolerance Sucks Rocks

ping for MD


44 posted on 12/21/2012 8:18:45 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
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To: Stormdog

No wonder Hitler was so anti smoking. One match and the whole room could explode.


45 posted on 12/21/2012 8:23:37 PM PST by eartrumpet
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To: rightwingintelligentsia
I work with a guy that we refer to as “The King of Flatulence”. We have learned to avoid his area whenever he eats his favorite lunch, jambalaya pizza and deep fried cauliflower. For his joke Christmas present this year he got a customized large Depends diaper lined with activated charcoal. Everyone was cracking up including him, but all that did was turn on the gas full stream. Thank goodness smoking is not allowed anywhere in the building.
46 posted on 12/21/2012 8:45:59 PM PST by SledgeCS (Good Men Died. Obama Lied. Impeach the LYING COWARD!!!)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

This whole story stinks.


47 posted on 12/21/2012 8:46:08 PM PST by Road Glide
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To: rightwingintelligentsia; Abundy; Albion Wilde; AlwaysFree; AnnaSASsyFR; bayliving; BFM; ...

Maryland “Freak State” PING!


48 posted on 12/21/2012 8:52:32 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Obama should change his campaign slogan to "Yes, we am!" Sounds as stupid as his administration is.)
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To: SledgeCS

My 1st “pro” job I had some pals down the hall in the “big office”, with 4 people. The oldest of them (maybe 50s) was infamous as a flatulator. I didn’t know this until I asked what the deal was with all of them having dust masks hanging from their lamps. That’s when I found out they were symbolic of using protection against Tom and his frequent outbursts.


49 posted on 12/21/2012 9:44:00 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia; windcliff; stylecouncilor
This article from The Smoking Gun brought to you by the "Smoking Bun".

What is the workers name? Gaseous Clay? Fartholomew? Stinky Pete?

50 posted on 12/22/2012 12:49:18 AM PST by I Drive Too Fast
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