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10 Reasons Why Total Remake Sucks
WC ^ | September 1, 2012 | Shaun Munro

Posted on 12/29/2012 9:30:30 PM PST by MinorityRepublican

10. “Get Your Ass to Mars”

Perhaps the defining aspect of the original Total Recall was its largely being “set” on Mars, with Schwarzenegger’s Quaid opting for a memory implant of a luxurious vacation on Mars, which of course goes disastrously wrong. The entire aesthetic – soaked in gorgeously saturated reds and oranges – was defined by this setting, and it made the quirky, campy weirdness of the piece all that more endearing and entertaining. In Wiseman’s update, the entire narrative is set on Earth, which in the wake of chemical warfare has been divided into two remaining factions – the United Federation of Britain and the Colony (essentially Australia). While it’s understandable in both scenarios that Quaid would want to escape a humdrum life as a manual labour worker, isn’t it more fantastical and thought-provoking that he ventures to another planet in the original, rather than simply live in near enough the same place, but as a secret agent?

(Excerpt) Read more at whatculture.com ...


TOPICS: TV/Movies
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 12/29/2012 9:30:36 PM PST by MinorityRepublican
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To: MinorityRepublican
Taking a film crew back to Mars was probably cost prohibitive...
2 posted on 12/29/2012 9:39:52 PM PST by BigCinBigD (...Was that okay?)
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To: MinorityRepublican
Yep. It sucked.

It's a rare movie that makes me feel like I wasted the $1.20 redbox fee.

This one did.

3 posted on 12/29/2012 9:43:33 PM PST by Washi (Socialism is Slavery)
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To: MinorityRepublican

The first Total Recall blew me away as a teenager. My first thought after watching the new version was, “Wow, it sure must have been a lot of work to take such a great movie and remove everything that made it good....”


4 posted on 12/29/2012 9:57:49 PM PST by apillar
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To: MinorityRepublican

Didn’t they travel through the middle of the Earth? I asked the wife, “How do they expect to get to Mars that way?” and when they were in the core, which I thought was molten, like the middle of a radioactive Tootsie pop and were floating around using machine guns like rocket thrusters, I said to Samson the bulldog, “I’m afraid this one’s a real stinker, old boy,” and we went for a walk.


5 posted on 12/29/2012 10:14:12 PM PST by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: MinorityRepublican
So glad I didn't see it in the theater. My "ON DEMAND" $4.99 was wasted on this POS. OTOH, the remake of RED DAWN was stellar! I'm glad I did see that in the theater.
6 posted on 12/29/2012 10:15:40 PM PST by ExSoldier (Stand up and be counted... OR LINE UP AND BE NUMBERED...)
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To: apillar
Wait'll you get a load of the "new" Dredd movie..

*shudder*

terrible.

7 posted on 12/29/2012 10:18:01 PM PST by Michael Barnes (Obamaa+ Downgrade)
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To: MinorityRepublican

Almost smells like an Islamic history re-write so as to condition everyone to forget about ever, ever leaving earth and instead be happy little prayer buddies several times a day.

Islam will never leave earth.


8 posted on 12/29/2012 10:22:17 PM PST by Eye of Unk (A Civil Cold War in America is here, its already been declared.)
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To: Eye of Unk
Islam will never leave earth.

Good. We don't need those assholes infecting the rest of the cosmos.

9 posted on 12/29/2012 10:24:39 PM PST by Michael Barnes (Obamaa+ Downgrade)
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To: Michael Barnes

Thanks, I was about to watch Dredd.... will instead get something else.


10 posted on 12/29/2012 10:30:42 PM PST by Bobalu (It is not obama we are fighting, it is the media.)
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To: Bobalu

I liked DKR ,avengers, Looper.
Prometheus was let down.
Cabin in the woods was good (horror).
Tucker & Dale Vs Evil was a funny horror movie.


11 posted on 12/29/2012 10:50:37 PM PST by Morris70
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To: MinorityRepublican

I Red-Boxed this a few days ago and agree with every point in the article. It would have been a much better story if it had been either a prequel or a sequel to the original story - get some new characters, but reuse the memory mind-block premise that goes wrong; no big deal. Instead, we got a clumsy attempt to overlay the names and (sort-of) the plot of the original on a story that has nothing to do with Arnold’s Rekall. I spent most of my time watching this wondering why they chose to change some things (like the teardrop instead of the bead of sweat) while keeping other elements (the mutant hooker was a definite “what is she doing here if we’re not on Mars” moment!)

However, for $1.50 to spend 2 hours with high-def Kate & Jessica, it was worth every penny ;-)


12 posted on 12/29/2012 11:04:18 PM PST by GizmosAndGadgets (How Free Are You In America Today?)
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To: Eye of Unk
Islam will never leave earth.

With any luck. . . Islam won't SURVIVE to the time we're finally starting to leave Earth for other worlds. . .

13 posted on 12/29/2012 11:51:11 PM PST by Salgak (Acme Lasers presents: The Energizer Border. I **DARE** you to cross it. . . .)
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To: MinorityRepublican

“You have some nerve showing your face around here!”


14 posted on 12/29/2012 11:53:58 PM PST by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: MinorityRepublican

Even worse than the insane anti civilization theme of the remade “Day The Earth Stood Still”?


15 posted on 12/30/2012 1:52:20 AM PST by Andrei Bulba (No Obama, no way!)
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To: MinorityRepublican

Wait. What?
The new one doesn’t take place on Mars?

/facepalm


16 posted on 12/30/2012 2:09:55 AM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: Michael Barnes
Wait'll you get a load of the "new" Dredd movie..

Why would anyone remake Rocky meets Goerge Jetson?

17 posted on 12/30/2012 4:56:25 AM PST by verga (A nation divided by Zero!)
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To: MinorityRepublican

I just tried to watch this last night and I fell asleep 15 minutes into the movie.


18 posted on 12/30/2012 5:29:42 AM PST by FreeManWhoCan ( (o) (o))
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To: apillar
The first Total Recall blew me away as a teenager. My first thought after watching the new version was, “Wow, it sure must have been a lot of work to take such a great movie and remove everything that made it good....”

I saw it near opening at Disney World Pleasure Island's movie complex. They were touting the new Dolby Digital Surround Sound System in the theater. We were absolutely blown away by the presentation, as you could imagine. Wow, has it really been so long?!?

19 posted on 12/30/2012 5:35:04 AM PST by Caipirabob (Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: Eye of Unk
I've noticed a trend to depicting space travel as something to be avoided. In Avatar, we travel all the way to a moon orbiting a gas giant orbiting Alpha Centauri A, only to get beaten by primitives. In Prometheus our first venture to the stars comes to grief when we find that those who created us despise us. Except for the newly revived Star trek and Star Wars franchises, the future looks gloomy
20 posted on 12/30/2012 6:01:54 AM PST by jmcenanly ("The more corrupt the state, the more laws." Tacitus, Publius Cornelius)
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To: Andrei Bulba
While “Total” is terrible, it pales in comparison to the environmentalist backed remake of “The Day The Earth Stood Still”. They took a timeless classic with a message still relevant to our times and “whored” it. Shame on Hollywood as I was hopeful for a true remake updated with today's special effects.
21 posted on 12/30/2012 6:19:46 AM PST by Boomer One
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To: Michael Barnes

Stallone has made or starred in 3 or 4 good movies. That’s it.

Rocky
Rocky II
Cliffhanger
First Blood

Everything else has been horrible. The sequels to First Blood got progressively worse, and there’s something about that whole franchise that has always ticked me off.

The first movie was called “First Blood.” (a great performance by Stallone, in my opinion. The scene where he’s crying and describing his nightmares to Troutman is almost Oscar-worthy)

The second movie was “Rambo: First Blood Part II”

The third movie was “Rambo III.” Wait a minute - shouldn’t it have either been “Rambo II” or “Rambo: First Blood Part III” to maintain consistency in their titles?

The fourth movie was just “Rambo.” How does “Rambo” come AFTER Rambo III???


22 posted on 12/30/2012 6:53:49 AM PST by RightFighter (It was all for nothing.)
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To: Michael Barnes

Stallone has made or starred in 3 or 4 good movies. That’s it.

Rocky
Rocky II
Cliffhanger
First Blood

Everything else has been horrible. The sequels to First Blood got progressively worse, and there’s something about that whole franchise that has always ticked me off.

The first movie was called “First Blood.” (a great performance by Stallone, in my opinion. The scene where he’s crying and describing his nightmares to Troutman is almost Oscar-worthy)

The second movie was “Rambo: First Blood Part II”

The third movie was “Rambo III.” Wait a minute - shouldn’t it have either been “Rambo II” or “Rambo: First Blood Part III” to maintain consistency in their titles?

The fourth movie was just “Rambo.” How does “Rambo” come AFTER Rambo III???


23 posted on 12/30/2012 6:54:06 AM PST by RightFighter (It was all for nothing.)
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To: jmcenanly

Islam plans to dominate planet Earth, no escapees allowed.

Look at Obama killing NASA.


24 posted on 12/30/2012 7:26:19 AM PST by Eye of Unk (A Civil Cold War in America is here, its already been declared.)
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To: Eye of Unk

Blacks and minorities plus socialists think the whole space thing is a waste of money that could be better spent on EBT and welfare. It was a white thing, so it is unimportant.


25 posted on 12/30/2012 7:30:15 AM PST by central_va ( I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: GizmosAndGadgets
(the mutant hooker was a definite “what is she doing here if we’re not on Mars” moment!)

Yes. This was the moment when the audience is confronted with the choices of the director and screen writers. In Arnold's version, she was a puchline, yes, but she introduced the audience to the fact that Mars was changing humans, and forshadowing that the person Quaid was looking for was a mutant.

In this version, she is the only mutant, and forshadows nothing. I was expecting that by the time we saw the rebel leader, that he would be a mutant, able to breath the toxic gas. But, no, they just had gas masks. So what was she there for? Because she was there in the last movie, and the director felt the audience would expect her. But all it did was make us realize how much had been cut out.

There is one useful thing about the Total Recalls, and that is to study how Hollywood's approach to violence has changed over the years. Arnold's version was a gore fest, but the new one is the new bloodless shootout movie where no matter how many times someone is shot, they don't bleed. They even add robots so the robots can get shot instead of the humans.

Exhibit One: Arnold

Exhibit Two: Colin

26 posted on 12/30/2012 7:43:37 AM PST by Vince Ferrer
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To: MinorityRepublican
soaked in gorgeously saturated reds and oranges

Soaked? Yes.

Gorgeous? Not really.

27 posted on 12/30/2012 7:55:52 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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