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The longer the weapon, the shorter the tool (BARF ALERT)
Aspen Times ^ | Dec. 28, 2012 | Todd Hartley

Posted on 12/30/2012 8:59:46 AM PST by FLAMING DEATH

..."So, since I'm not particularly concerned about the National Rifle Association ruining my political career, I'll be the one to say it: If you own multiple guns or feel the need to possess a military-style assault weapon, it's because you have a small penis."...

(Excerpt) Read more at aspentimes.com ...


TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS: 2ndamendment; banglist; guncontrol; secondamendment
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That's Todd Hartley, according to his web page ( http://todd-hartley.com/about/ ), of Basalt, Colorado, contact information available on Anywho and Spokeo, as well as Linked In. He's a standup comedian, too, available for your organization to hire (in other words, can't get work).
1 posted on 12/30/2012 8:59:59 AM PST by FLAMING DEATH
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To: FLAMING DEATH

“a standup comedian”

When his stands up, people laugh.


2 posted on 12/30/2012 9:04:03 AM PST by dagogo redux (A whiff of primitive spirits in the air, harbingers of an impending descent into the feral.)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

I’m not particularly concerned about the size of my penis and I’m even less concerned about the size of Todd Hartley’s penis.

Unlike Todd Hartley, I just don’t spend a great deal of time contemplating penises.


3 posted on 12/30/2012 9:06:11 AM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

For someone who is scared to death of people with guns, they sure do like to provoke us.

I notice these turkeys never say anything like this about Muslims.


4 posted on 12/30/2012 9:09:42 AM PST by Tzimisce (The American Revolution began when the British attempted to disarm the Colonists.)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

I have found, over time, Mr. Hartley, that the people who talk about small penises the most are the ones who are actually afflicted with that problem.


5 posted on 12/30/2012 9:11:22 AM PST by ataDude (Its like 1933, mixed with the Carter 70s, plus the books 1984 and Animal Farm, all at the same time.)
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To: cripplecreek

I read the article.

It’s just another uninformed liberal douchebag trying to be funny.

I don’t think I will bother to observe a moment of silence for Todd Hartley’s career as a comedian.


6 posted on 12/30/2012 9:12:09 AM PST by flintsilver7 (Honest reporting hasn't caught on in the United States.)
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To: cripplecreek; FLAMING DEATH; dagogo redux
Well, Toddy ever since I lost my guns in a tragic boating Mountain Climbing accident.

I have decided to compensate with these.

Or is that American Military Power to much for an Estrogen laden POS like you?

7 posted on 12/30/2012 9:14:56 AM PST by KC_Lion (Build the America you want to live in at your address, and keep looking up.-Sarah Palin)
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To: cripplecreek

Mr. Hartley appears to be an expert in the area of penises.


8 posted on 12/30/2012 9:16:10 AM PST by Crcl1
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To: cripplecreek

Freud addressed this issue - when people, particularly women, spend an inordinate amount of time equating masculine traits, or pursuits, with penis size, etc.

He called it Penis Envy.

Most men - real men - don’t give a sweet $hit about the size of their appendage. As long as it satisfies THEM.

And, it always does...


9 posted on 12/30/2012 9:20:07 AM PST by Paisan
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To: FLAMING DEATH
Todd Hartley is an idiot.

Exibit 1: "But owning lots of guns or pseudo-machine guns means you have a tiny wiener and you're incredibly self-conscious about it. That's the plain and simple truth, even if it's not true.

10 posted on 12/30/2012 9:24:11 AM PST by Delta 21 (Oh Crap !! Did I say that out loud ??!??)
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To: FLAMING DEATH
Todd Hartley is using what I define as the Obama/Kardashian strategy for achieving celebrity status.

If you have no record and haven't done anything to brag about...try to become famous for simply being famous.

Have a wardrobe malfunction, produce a sex tape, give some teleprompter-perfect speeches, produce a "Gangnam-style" music video...say something sort of outrageous.

11 posted on 12/30/2012 9:24:26 AM PST by RoosterRedux (He will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats)
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To: cripplecreek; shibumi

I don’t even *have* one.

[Venus envy?]

“I just don’t spend a great deal of time contemplating penises.”

Uh...erm...I...

No comment.

;D


12 posted on 12/30/2012 9:24:37 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: FLAMING DEATH
Yah,Todd,my fella is itty bitty but if you break into my house in the middle of the night...
13 posted on 12/30/2012 9:30:24 AM PST by Gay State Conservative (When Robbing Peter To Pay Paul,One Can Always Count On Paul's Cooperation)
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To: flintsilver7

This is just the obligatory snark they make when they have no other logical valid point.

“Gun” can substituted by SUV/Harley/tattoo/cigarette/knife/muscle car/whatever else is annoying some whiny ass liberal at any particular moment with equal alacrity.

It’s as boring, hackneyed and cliched as “racist”.

The sad part is that *some* men will actually knee-jerk react to it and give into ‘pressure’.

Others cheerfully wear the ‘offensive label’ with pride.


14 posted on 12/30/2012 9:33:21 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: KC_Lion

Damn. I do miss my years on Titan II Missile Combat Crew. Those missiles sure were beauties.


15 posted on 12/30/2012 9:34:16 AM PST by OldMissileer
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To: FLAMING DEATH

I will match mine against Todd Hartley any day of the week , and let his wife be the judge.

That is if this pseudo man has a female for a wife. I don’t play that other crap.


16 posted on 12/30/2012 9:35:35 AM PST by Venturer
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To: FLAMING DEATH
If you own multiple guns or feel the need to possess a military-style assault weapon, it's because you have a small penis

This numbnut makes no sense. If I had "multiple guns"?

Once more...

This is my rifle,

This is my gun...

17 posted on 12/30/2012 9:35:56 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: Salamander
“Gun” can substituted by SUV/Harley/tattoo/cigarette/knife/muscle car/whatever else is annoying some whiny ass liberal at any particular moment with equal alacrity.

A number of FReepers have a similar penis-size obsession about pit bull owners.

18 posted on 12/30/2012 9:37:08 AM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: dagogo redux

“To those of you out there who, like me, have had enough of all the shooting and killing in this country, I encourage you to spread the rumor that when gun owners talk about their 9 mms, they’re actually referring to their genitalia and not the caliber of their weapons. With any luck, we can stigmatize gun ownership and encourage people to give up their firearms willingly.”

Saul Alinsky rises from the dead.

Okay all you needled-d*ck FReepers, join me in willingly surrendering our guns.

HAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAH!

/sniffle

What a twit.

[my a key is broken]


19 posted on 12/30/2012 9:37:17 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

Mr. Hartley seems to have quite the elaborate set of criteria to determine penis size.

The question is, why? Is this preoccupation due to his own sense of inferiority, or is he intrigued for some other reason?


20 posted on 12/30/2012 9:39:17 AM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: Crcl1

[never has to worry about the possibility of being confronted by an Assault Vagina]

21 posted on 12/30/2012 9:39:41 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: KC_Lion

22 posted on 12/30/2012 9:43:24 AM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

Well, I just bought a subcompact Glock 26, and Mrs. Yo has a smile on her face...


23 posted on 12/30/2012 9:43:53 AM PST by Yo-Yo (Is the /sarc tag really necessary?)
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To: Joe 6-pack; Smokin' Joe

Oh, yeah.

I forgot about the Pitaphobics.

In the spirit of Toad’s psycho-analysis, may I just say

I’ve got an assault vagina and I’m not afraid to use it!!!

[he really should not have included a ‘comments’ section...he’s being ripped to bits]


24 posted on 12/30/2012 9:45:54 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: Joe 6-pack

LOLOL


25 posted on 12/30/2012 9:46:49 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: Salamander

He’s not particularly attractive, but it’s his mind that’s truly vile.


26 posted on 12/30/2012 9:48:05 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Smokin' Joe; All

When liberals do not have facts or reason, they make personal attacks.

Funny how women tend to find men with weapons attractive, though.

Almost as if throughout history, a man with weapons was the only thing keeping women alive.


27 posted on 12/30/2012 9:52:32 AM PST by marktwain
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To: Smokin' Joe; shibumi
"I can get hotter chicks than Toad can" ping

[kiss the skull, baby!] LOL

28 posted on 12/30/2012 9:53:23 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: trisham

His mind?

Did you find it?

I’m sure he’d like it back.

:)


29 posted on 12/30/2012 9:55:27 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

From this I infer that Mr. Hartley has done thorough research on mens genitalia. I’m guessing it was a labor of love for him.


30 posted on 12/30/2012 9:55:41 AM PST by muir_redwoods (Don't fire until you see the blue of their helmets)
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To: marktwain; Joe 6-pack; shibumi
Seriously Freudian


31 posted on 12/30/2012 10:00:03 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: Salamander
His mind? Did you find it?

******************************

It may take a while-I had to fetch the magnifying glass. :)

32 posted on 12/30/2012 10:02:21 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: trisham

It’s probably hiding under his penis.

/rimshot

;]


33 posted on 12/30/2012 10:04:50 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

It’s not the size of the weapon, it’s the skill with which you use it.


34 posted on 12/30/2012 10:14:51 AM PST by Hot Tabasco (Jab her with a harpoon.....)
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To: Salamander

We have no evidence that either exists. In fact, we have some evidence to the contrary.


35 posted on 12/30/2012 10:17:42 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: FLAMING DEATH
said the man with NO penis... prolly 1/2 through his sex change
36 posted on 12/30/2012 10:23:12 AM PST by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: Salamander

(8^D)


37 posted on 12/30/2012 10:23:35 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: FLAMING DEATH
Yo Todd:

Sigmund Freud: "A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." General Introduction to Psychoanalysis. (1920)

38 posted on 12/30/2012 10:32:34 AM PST by Doomonyou (Let them eat Lead.)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

THAT’S why I see all the women at the range toting 50 caliber rifles these days!!! They have NO penis!


39 posted on 12/30/2012 10:37:35 AM PST by Secret Agent Man (I can neither confirm or deny that; even if I could, I couldn't - it's classified.)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

So the article writer is a fa**ot focused on d**k. They may have asked him for an editorial contribution on the subject of guns, but the gay translator between his ears apparently turns every subject into d**k.

When he sat down to write, the vaseline probably made him slide right off his chair. “Aspen Times”. Why am I not surprised.


40 posted on 12/30/2012 10:37:35 AM PST by fattigermaster
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To: Salamander
[he really should not have included a ‘comments’ section...he’s being ripped to bits]

Yeah, he got clobbered on his own newspaper's website. At last check, it was running 100% against him, with some fantastic points made.

He probably expected everybody to tell him how clever and insightful his witty article was. Instead, he's sobbing in the corner, afraid to hit the Refresh button on his own web page.

41 posted on 12/30/2012 10:50:49 AM PST by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: Tzimisce

“I notice these turkeys never say anything like this about Muslims.”

The idea of falling six miles to earth surrounded by flaming kerosene and 400 screaming people is quite a deterrent/s;)


42 posted on 12/30/2012 10:51:24 AM PST by Frank_2001
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To: dead

Wow...it’s true!

The penis mightier than the sword!

[I am *so* sorry]

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

[no I’m not]

;D


43 posted on 12/30/2012 10:59:57 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: Secret Agent Man

It seems like a good place to find one?


44 posted on 12/30/2012 11:02:02 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: Salamander

Thank you for giving me the first chuckle I’ve had during a very personally painful weekend.


45 posted on 12/30/2012 11:04:18 AM PST by Riley (The Fourth Estate is the Fifth Column.)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

Liberals are increasingly using “small penis” insults against those who do things they dislike, like drive big trucks and SUVs, own large homes, and now own guns.

Responding in kind achieves nothing, because they do not mind others lowering themselves to their level. So the best response might be to respond peripherally, like asking them if they support gay marriage. When they say, “yes”, just respond that yes, you thought they would.


46 posted on 12/30/2012 11:05:46 AM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Best WoT news at rantburg.com)
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To: Riley

I hope whatever’s hurting you gets better.

:(


47 posted on 12/30/2012 11:11:27 AM PST by Salamander (I wear my sunglasses at night.)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

Jumping straight to the Alinsky rule of mocking the opposition.

No problem, Todd. Come after my rights, and we’ll see which “tool” I use to take you down,


48 posted on 12/30/2012 11:34:07 AM PST by DPMD
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To: ataDude

if you think this way you have no penis and probably pee sitting down but you think you are a man because you are a big prick.


49 posted on 12/30/2012 12:14:33 PM PST by bravo whiskey (“People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.”)
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To: FLAMING DEATH

Do you find you spend a lot of time thinking about penises, Todd?


50 posted on 12/30/2012 12:22:27 PM PST by Mr. K (There are lies, dammed lies, statistics, and democrap talking points.)
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