Posted on 01/06/2013 12:00:02 AM PST by MacMattico
Please say a Prayer for my mother.
I don't think I've ever asked some one to pray for some one else before, but she's in a tough spot. If it is her time to go it will hurt terribly, but as Catholics and the fact that she is the most caring, loving person I have ever met, I know we will meet again in a better place.
I'm also extremely upset with the hospital, and I don't want this to happen to others.
On the day after Christmas, my mother was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with Pneumonia. They also told us her kidneys were not functioning very well, but not end stage or where she needed dialysis or anything like that. Her lungs had a lot of fluid in them. Fast forward four days and they said the fluid was gone as well as any sign of infection. But my mother was still mostly unresponsive and wanted to sleep all of the time. My sisters and I have been able to wake her on occasion and she will talk with us for a few minutes before going back to sleep. When she had the fluid in the lungs, they did not provide hydration as they said she couldn't handle it, antibiotics were intravenously given. So, obviously, at least to me, when they said the fluid was gone and infection cleared up, I expected to see the IV fluids begin, but they didn't. I demanded hydration be started and every excuse was given to me: she didn't need it, she woke up and drank enough,( not true, my sister and/or I were there hour after hour and she wasn't drinking). I asked the doctor if he were trying to kill her -- it was going on 3-4 days with no adequate fluids. I told him my mother was Catholic and would not want to die from dehydration and starvation-- that was her biggest fear. He then said she couldn't handle it. I said I was going to speak with an attorney if she didn't have IV hydration when I came back in an hour. I came back in an hour and she had three bags of fluids and basically sugar water hooked up to her IV. She has been on this ever sense, no problems. And of course her kidney function improved with fluids, obviously. You can't urinate without fluid!
Now we are well over a week and my mother has barely eaten. My family inquired into ways of feeding her, a tube through the nose, feeding tube, intervenously. The doctor absolutely refuses saying her organs can't handle it! I said if your telling us she's going to die anyway due to organ failure, we want some nutrition provided. He refused and said she can go without food much longer, but I reminded him she knows what is said to her, responds, and I had called the nursing home where she had been staying (because she had trouble getting around and making meals and taking her medication on time), and they said she wasn't eating well for approximately two weeks. So we're going on three weeks with little to no food intake! The hospital refuses to feed her ! My mother is weak and has diabetes-- I can't see how trying nutrition after all this time could hurt her any more! I argued with the doctor and he refuses to follow our wishes-- a nurse even tried to change her DNR which only indicated she didn't want CPR! I caught her and threatened her with calling the police as the whole family has seen the dnr and knows what's on it. I guess the doctors argument is because she is on oxygen at night it would make it easier for her to bring up any liquid in her stomach and choke to death and that her organs can't handle it-- yet he keeps saying "maybe next week" like she's going to get better! I really think he just wants her to die as quickly as possible, and it's killing me she is not being fed. He almost went ballistic when another doctor checked her out and she knew it was January, her name and that Obama was President-- she even rolled her eyes at the name Obama! He wanted to tell us she was brain dead or close to it, I honestly think. I don't know what to do. He's says she may choke at night with the intense oxygen mask they give her and her organs can't take food right now, yet the nurses had me trying to feed her from a tray yesterday! She took only one bite and fell asleep. I don't know what to do! The doctor acts like a feeding tube will be torture, I think starvation is. There are no family members that disagree with me. Our family Priest has says she has a right to hydration and nutrition, the doctor says no nutrition "in her condition" which he constantly changes. She is on Medicare (although with the best supplemental money can buy) and I think the death panels have begun.
I don’t have medical POA, she hasn’t needed anything close to dialysis and has no fever as of a few hours back when I was there. When I realized they weren’t going to feed her, I did my damnedest to wake her up so she could express her wishes. I will do my hardest to get her to wake up and express her views again. She’s always been so afraid to talk about her own death, though— not afraid of the afterlife but the actual process so I don’t know how this will turn out. I’m really sorry about your mother.
That’s a really good idea.
It sounds like they might be giving her drugs to make her sleep. I have seen this done with elderly patients before...and worse. If she sleeps, she doesn’t try to get out of bed. She doesn’t ask for anything. She doesn’t bother anyone. No problem.
Find out immediately what kinds of medications she is receiving, and if they will not SHOW you and explain to you every single one, why she is receiving it, what the effects are, etc., get an attorney and force the issue.
My prayers are with you.
BTTT
I hate to sound tinfoily, but is it even remotely possible that she was coerced into signing something while you weren’t there? Does she have a Living Will? Do you or anyone else in your family have Power of Attorney?
HELP!!!
Call Terry’s family,they help a few people I referred them to.
Terri Schiavo Life & Hope Network
Need Help?
If you have a family member who is in or potentially facing a life-threatening situation please contact us immediately:
Phone: Call TOLL-FREE 1.855.300.HOPE (4673)
http://www.terrisfight.org/need-help/
Call Terry’s family,they help a few people I referred them to.
Terri Schiavo Life & Hope Network
Need Help?
If you have a family member who is in or potentially facing a life-threatening situation please contact us immediately:
Phone: Call TOLL-FREE 1.855.300.HOPE (4673)
http://www.terrisfight.org/need-help/
Sometimes I think the tinfoil hat is correct...
Get. A. Different. Doctor.
My mother had ovarian cancer which turned out to have metastasized throughout her abdomen. It was unlikely that she would survive it, but still, days and weeks are precious when a family is saying goodbye. I think my mom’s doctors deliberately hastened her death as well. (For her own good, of course. I’m sure they really thought that.)
Get a different doc right away. Insist on it. Move her to a different hospital if you have to.
Sorry for the double post.Also Hospital’s have a Patient Advocate.Ask for one.Someone needs power of Attorney,start that tom.In Pa it could not be a family member.You will need 3 signatures and notarized.I printed the form off the internet.They give you the information on each state laws there.I was able to get it done in 2 days.They drugged my Mom up so bad she forgot to breath.She was to be released the next day.Freepmail me if you want to talk and we will pray,((((Hugs)))Fatima
Bump
BTW, this is a minor point but perhaps worth making: Don’t feed her Ensure, at least the milkshake version. That gunky cr*p clogged up my dying mother’s throat and made it hard for her to swallow properly, and then she got pneumonia from aspirating it. She kept asking for just clear broth or something more liquid, and they kept giving her the milkshake stuff that she couldn’t handle. She didn’t have lung involvement until she started aspirating the milkshake Ensure, and then the pneumonia finally finished her off. (Oh, along with a medical “mistake” by her docs.)
Ask why, if she can’t eat, she isn’t on total parenteral nutrition. Make sure you get a satisfactory answer.
Mac, find out if she signed a ‘living will’. They offer them routinely and many older patients do not understand what they are signing even though it might be a death warrant. She can forego food and hydration and/or ‘heroic methods’ of keeping her alive and not even know she did it. You need to demand to see her medical records.
Prayers on the way for your Mom, and prayers for peace for you and your sisters as you get to the bottom of whatever is going on.
And if you are able to get her awake and aware, try to get her wishes for a Living Will, and medical Power of Attorney on paper. Maybe your priest can help with that.
My elderly aunt has been suffering serious circulation problems and is in danger of losing one if not both of her legs. A month ago my cousin discussed options with her Mom’s doctor about what could be done to save the leg. The doctor told her there was an operation that could be performed and that it had about a 50/50 chance of success. The doctor also told her flat out that if the operation could even be scheduled it needed to be done by the end of the month (ie., the end of the year) because as of January 1, 2013, parts of Ubama’s Mengelecare program were due to kick in and the operation my aunt needed would not be approved under that program. The cheaper option would be amputation, and that’s what would be approved and paid for under Mengelecare.
(Note that these kinds of “approvals” are not required for members of congress.)
Does that help your understanding of Ubama and the Democrats’ Mengelecare?
Very good ideas here. My dear husband passed away in May. Although we had good insurance and a great understanding Doctor we had to fight for TPN. When we went home with hospice we were able to convince them (hospice) we would not sign on with them without TPN. They broke their rules for us!
When my mother passed away years ago, her Dr. said no feeding tube and she said she didn’t want one. We were able to talk her into it and insisted that she be given one. She told us if she had known how much better it would make her feel she would have wanted it a long time before. She died shortly after that.
You have to do what you think is right.
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