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CELL PHONE CALLING

Posted on 01/15/2013 9:36:21 AM PST by BankerWoman1

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To: 50mm; shibumi

LOLOL
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#
/dialtone


51 posted on 01/15/2013 1:28:18 PM PST by Salamander (Put some workboots in the drier. Recite Dr Seuss. Now you're a rapper!)
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To: BankerWoman1
Your tower lost power, Woman!


52 posted on 01/15/2013 1:30:13 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: Slings and Arrows; BankerWoman1; camle; Alkhin; Professional Engineer; katana; Mr. Silverback; ...
[KOCHANSKI is crouched over on her floor, staring under her bunk and poking a broom into the dark corners beneath]

KOCHANSKI You're there, I *know* you're there, you little sod! Come on, out! Out!

[Enter KRYTEN]

KOCHANSKI There's a mouse under here, its been scuttling around for about ten minutes.
KRYTEN It's not a mouse, ma'am, it's Archie.
KOCHANSKI Archie?
KRYTEN My penis. It must have escaped.
KOCHANSKI You know, I'm really going to have to get my ears syringed; do you know what that sounded like to me?
KRYTEN I made one.
KOCHANSKI Forget my ears, maybe my whole *brain* needs syringing... You made one?
KRYTEN Mmm. Out of an old electron board, a loo roll, some sticky-backed plastic and an Action Man's polo-neck jumper.
KOCHANSKI Kryten, why do you want one? KRYTEN It's so humiliating, being posted to the Women's Wing just because I'm genitally challenged! So I decided to make one like Mister Lister's. Little rascal must have got bored jumping in and out of his hoop and made a break for it during the night.
KOCHANSKI No wonder I couldn't lure him out with a bit of cheese. This whole thing's making sense now.
KRYTEN Just leave this to me, ma'am. Here, Archie! Here, boy!
KOCHANSKI There he is!

[A small, gibbering critter suddenly hurls itself out and across the floor, tears around the room like a miniature whirlwind and shoots back under the bunk, where KRYTEN traps it under a bucket. Undeterred, the gibbering thing nudges the bucket out from under the bunk, lurches around for a moment, then whizzes out of the cell door and down a corridor]

KOCHANSKI Kryten, do you realise what this means?
KRYTEN No, ma'am.
KOCHANSKI It means you're a real man.
KRYTEN It does? Why?
KOCHANSKI Because now, like all men, you have absolutely no control over your penis.
KRYTEN I'm so proud! Archie, come back!

53 posted on 01/15/2013 1:32:33 PM PST by null and void (Gun confiscation enables tyranny. Don't enable Tyranny)
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To: Salamander; 50mm
Me beat-em out message on Tom-Tom, Keemo-sloppy.
54 posted on 01/15/2013 1:34:46 PM PST by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: Revolting cat!
What you need is a Tower of Power!
55 posted on 01/15/2013 1:38:57 PM PST by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: null and void

A King Missile - Red Dwarf connection. Who knew?


56 posted on 01/15/2013 1:57:48 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: shibumi; 50mm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2uD0tCkVAo

Take that!


57 posted on 01/15/2013 2:17:46 PM PST by Salamander (Put some workboots in the drier. Recite Dr Seuss. Now you're a rapper!)
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To: Slings and Arrows

If it exists, there is a Red Dwarf of it.


58 posted on 01/15/2013 2:18:55 PM PST by null and void (Gun confiscation enables tyranny. Don't enable Tyranny)
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To: BankerWoman1

I had a similar problem. Did you check to see if your phone was turned on?


59 posted on 01/15/2013 2:22:45 PM PST by Hot Tabasco (Jab her with a harpoon or just throw her from the train......)
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To: MestaMachine
I just called myself and nobody answered.

I just tried calling you too and got no answer. Are you sure you exist?

60 posted on 01/15/2013 2:25:32 PM PST by Hot Tabasco (Jab her with a harpoon or just throw her from the train......)
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To: MestaMachine
I just called myself and nobody answered.

On second thought, you might have been out bowling......

61 posted on 01/15/2013 2:27:29 PM PST by Hot Tabasco (Jab her with a harpoon or just throw her from the train......)
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To: BankerWoman1; umgud; Slings and Arrows

Nah, I'm good.

62 posted on 01/15/2013 2:33:54 PM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Salamander; shibumi; humblegunner
Not to be outdone when it comes to poor taste, I give you:

Australian Alternate Lifestyle Midget Dancers

63 posted on 01/15/2013 2:34:12 PM PST by 50mm (Trust nobody and you'll never be disappointed.)
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To: BankerWoman1
Talked with AT&T and they said it's a tower problem in this area.

I'm the individual you spoke with, please press 1 for English and 2 Para Español........

I see you have pressed #1.

If you are calling about a phone problem, it is likely due to a tower problem in your area and if you recall, I already explained that to you dumbass...........

If you still aren't satisfied with the service, lease press 3 which will eventually take you to Helen Waight in the complaint department

64 posted on 01/15/2013 2:46:11 PM PST by Hot Tabasco (Jab her with a harpoon or just throw her from the train......)
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To: 50mm

Epic to the point of being slightly beyond epicness.


65 posted on 01/15/2013 2:46:18 PM PST by humblegunner
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To: Hot Tabasco

GEEZ! The caller ID said ‘incoming’ so I ducked under my desk. Don’t scare me like that!


66 posted on 01/15/2013 2:46:30 PM PST by MestaMachine (Sometimes the smartest man in the room is standing in the midst of imbeciles.)
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To: BankerWoman1

See my tagline.


67 posted on 01/15/2013 2:46:35 PM PST by EveningStar ("What color is the sky in your world?" -- Frasier Crane)
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To: Salamander

Thanks a lot.
Now I gotta see if Lion King is on Netflix.


68 posted on 01/15/2013 2:49:28 PM PST by humblegunner
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To: MestaMachine
GEEZ! The caller ID said ‘incoming’ so I ducked under my desk. Don’t scare me like that!

LOL! That cracked me up........I'm still laughing.

69 posted on 01/15/2013 2:51:13 PM PST by Hot Tabasco (Jab her with a harpoon or just throw her from the train......)
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To: MestaMachine
GEEZ! The caller ID said ‘incoming’ so I ducked under my desk. Don’t scare me like that!

LOL! That cracked me up........I'm still laughing.

70 posted on 01/15/2013 2:59:35 PM PST by Hot Tabasco (Jab her with a harpoon or just throw her from the train......)
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To: humblegunner
And somebody just posted it on:

Midgets and Ponies

he well-respected, but sadly neglected premier site for vertically challenged equestrians.

71 posted on 01/15/2013 3:05:50 PM PST by 50mm (Trust nobody and you'll never be disappointed.)
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To: 50mm

Proof that good citizen journalism is WAY under-rated.


72 posted on 01/15/2013 3:13:30 PM PST by humblegunner
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To: BankerWoman1

I once saved a drowning squirrel with a hoe...call me maybe.


73 posted on 01/15/2013 3:20:01 PM PST by JouleZ (You are the company you keep.)
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To: humblegunner

The only element missing is pimping that blog post on FR and calling those who object “Soros plants.”


74 posted on 01/15/2013 3:23:15 PM PST by 50mm (Trust nobody and you'll never be disappointed.)
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To: Salamander

Ahhhh, brainwashing. I started that video and my boys started singing along. LOL


75 posted on 01/15/2013 3:32:38 PM PST by 50mm (Trust nobody and you'll never be disappointed.)
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To: null and void; Slings and Arrows

Red Dwarf X just came out this week (in the States).

Brilliant sketch with Lister on the phone dealing with Customer Service taking hours and what he says/ does to Cat and Kryten while he’s waiting on hold. I can’t say more, I don’t want to give it away at this time.

It’s the first of the six new episodes. Cat’s got the best outfit of his career imho.


76 posted on 01/15/2013 3:36:12 PM PST by Gefn ("I am waiting for a rebirth of wonder")
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To: 50mm; Salamander; humblegunner
First, they're not Midgets. They're Dwarves.

Second, Nobody beats the Japs when it comes to weird and taseless.
77 posted on 01/15/2013 3:37:41 PM PST by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: shibumi

Truly tasteless!


78 posted on 01/15/2013 4:22:05 PM PST by 50mm (Trust nobody and you'll never be disappointed.)
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To: 50mm

Thank ewe.

Thank ewe berry mush.


79 posted on 01/15/2013 4:25:13 PM PST by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: 50mm; LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget

You should have pinged LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget...


80 posted on 01/15/2013 5:20:50 PM PST by null and void (Gun confiscation enables tyranny. Don't enable Tyranny)
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To: Gefn
Red Dwarf X just came out this week (in the States).

Where? How? Details, man, details!

81 posted on 01/15/2013 5:22:22 PM PST by null and void (Gun confiscation enables tyranny. Don't enable Tyranny)
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To: shibumi
Head Grater
82 posted on 01/15/2013 5:31:20 PM PST by null and void (Gun confiscation enables tyranny. Don't enable Tyranny)
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To: null and void
Here - This will help.
83 posted on 01/15/2013 5:37:08 PM PST by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: null and void

First of all, I’m a girl!- no biggie though....

It’s available on DVD at Amazon, I got mine for ten dollars on iTunes.(this week only, on sale). I”ve been waiting for 3 months for this!

They showed it this past Oct in the UK. Six episodes. There won’t be any more. They tie up a few loose ends from the series but I’m still jonsing for more.

I can’t say much else honestly, it would be giving it away. Holly is gone you know, He/She left the show after season 8. Which is a shame.

There were 3 episodes about 3 years ago for Red Dwarf 9 which were terrible. Worse than Season 7 inho.

And if you want to know how much I love the show- When season 7 came out, I went on a 2 week vacation to the the UK to see the first 3 episodes. Never really met anyone here who liked the show, don’t know why. My local PBS station ran it back in the early 90s, pulled it due to poor ratings. Yep, my all time favorite TV show. Every answer to life is on it, plus one very cool cat. Oh. I’m a cat lady ;) It’s been very nice to meet you.

Please let me know what you think of number X when you see it.


84 posted on 01/15/2013 8:38:42 PM PST by Gefn ("I am waiting for a rebirth of wonder")
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To: BankerWoman1

Did you pay the bill on the obamaphone?


85 posted on 01/15/2013 8:42:06 PM PST by Redcitizen (.)
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To: null and void

When you’re done with that, pass it over here, please.


86 posted on 01/15/2013 9:05:07 PM PST by Salamander (Put some workboots in the drier. Recite Dr Seuss. Now you're a rapper!)
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To: BankerWoman1

If you climb the tower, you get a better signal.


87 posted on 01/15/2013 9:52:28 PM PST by ApplegateRanch (Love me, love my guns!©)
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To: BankerWoman1

From what I can tell from here, you’re scarmabled.


88 posted on 01/15/2013 11:16:10 PM PST by golux (man)
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To: Gefn
It’s available on DVD at Amazon, I got mine for ten dollars on iTunes.(this week only, on sale). I”ve been waiting for 3 months for this!

Thanks for the information on Red Dwarf. You are not alone in really liking the show.

89 posted on 01/16/2013 7:03:52 AM PST by FreedomOfExpression
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To: Responsibility2nd; Slings and Arrows

At first I thought you were quoting the Sam Kinison routine.


90 posted on 01/16/2013 7:25:36 AM PST by Mr. Silverback (Don't worry about the cliff. We're going to all land on some rich guy's wallet.)
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To: FreedomOfExpression

YAY!!!

Glad to know there are Dwarfers here! ;)


91 posted on 01/16/2013 7:27:18 AM PST by Gefn ("I am waiting for a rebirth of wonder")
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To: Moltke

Hundreds of feet tall, looks like radio/tv towers!!!


92 posted on 01/16/2013 8:08:31 AM PST by danamco (-)
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To: ApplegateRanch
This happened to my Tower.

  Strangely enough, I didn't mind. Didn't mind a bit.

93 posted on 01/16/2013 8:47:31 AM PST by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Responsibility2nd; ApplegateRanch
The really cool thing?

Next day my Tower was all OK again.


94 posted on 01/16/2013 8:52:17 AM PST by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Gefn

I’m married to a crazy Cat lady; for Christmas, I always to get her some new Jules.

Rimmer-shot!


95 posted on 01/16/2013 2:16:18 PM PST by ApplegateRanch (Love me, love my guns!©)
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To: ApplegateRanch

Here are some of my favorite Cat (Danny John-Jules) moments.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSeSTI272LM

How about a little Dwayne Dibbley?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwyanSMayf4


96 posted on 01/16/2013 2:37:30 PM PST by Gefn ("I am waiting for a rebirth of wonder")
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To: BankerWoman1
Damn you signed up on the 14th and posted this on the 15th haven't had the courtesy to respond... Some wonder woman you are.....
97 posted on 01/16/2013 2:40:56 PM PST by deport
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To: ApplegateRanch; All

Did some looking for all you kind folks, found this clip of the Dwarf cast for RD X one day before the show aired in the UK, October, 2012.

I hope you enjoy. (It’s almost 6 minutes. Bring popcorn).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=wrZ5O1vGReg


98 posted on 01/16/2013 2:54:20 PM PST by Gefn ("I am waiting for a rebirth of wonder")
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To: BankerWoman1
AT&T stinks. When the contracts expire I'm dropping them. Their phones don't work past the end of the sidewalk, and I work in the boonies. Verizon lets you connect and then drops you. That's fun, too, and the more critical the data (start speaking numbers) the more likely bits and pieces of the conversation will just not go through.

When they are done, I'm checking out the $45/month unlimited plans.

99 posted on 01/16/2013 3:02:13 PM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: Gefn

Thanks for all three of those. We always liked Cat fishing, too.


100 posted on 01/16/2013 10:48:16 PM PST by ApplegateRanch (Love me, love my guns!©)
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