A burglar broke into a home and began searching in the darkness with his flashlight, looking for valuables to steal. Suddenly, a voice behind him said, "Jesus is watching you."
Petrified he turned and shone his light, but he saw no one. After a few minutes he went back to his search. Again, he heard a voice say, "Jesus knows you're here and what you're doing."
The man again turns and looks with his light. When he was about ready to give up, he sees a parrot in a cage. "Was that you talking?" he asks.
"Yes," the parrot admits.
"Well, Mr. Smarty parrot, just who are you?"
"I'm the family's pet bird. My name is Moses."
"Moses?" the man exclaims. "What kind of family names their parrot Moses?"
"I don't know," the parrot replies. "I guess the kind of family that names their rottweiler Jesus."
Another scorcher today in NYC. I’ll have to take time off to head to the shore and soak up some rays.
TO WHOM DOES THE LAND OF ISRAEL BELONG??
An Israeli Sense of Humor at United Nations set the record straight.
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.
A representative from Israel began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, “What a good opportunity to have a bath!”
Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them!
The Palestinian representative at the UN jumped up furiously and shouted, “What are you talking about? The Palestinians were not there then.”
The Israeli representative smiled and said, “And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.”