Uproar After School Checks Kids' Pants for Poop

Newser ^ | 02/15/2013 | By Mark Russell, Newser Staff

[Responsibility2nd]

(Newser) – There's no way this one could have ended well: An East Texas school's search for the mystery pooper who had five times left feces in the gymnasium led the principal to ask the school nurse to inspect the fourth-graders' underwear. "My kid came home and he said ... his butt had been inspected," complained one parent of a West Sabine Elementary student. That class had been the ones using the gym when the feces appeared, and didn't respond when the principal continually asked who did the deed. She defended the move to KAIT8 News.

She says the nurse only tugged at their pants' waistline to look inside, and that no pants were pulled below the buttocks. "There are lies being circulated," she says. Adds the superintendent, "We've all been examined by nurses. I do think it is appropriate in certain situations." And the nurse herself says, "I just peeked in their pants like you would check a baby's diaper." But two parents have complained, and a former school board member noted that, "You don't violate someone's civil rights just to achieve the ultimate goal." As for the mystery pooper, the search did not reveal the culprit.

[Responsibility2nd]

Something you don't ordinarily expect your fourth grader to say:

"Mom! They inspected my butt today."

[Darren McCarty]

The old phrase ‘smells like s**t’ is there for a reason. If someone drops a deuce and doesn’t wipe out, it’d probably smell for a long ways away. No need for close up inspections.

[Tau Food]

Kinky.

[Fresh Wind]

As for the mystery pooper, the search did not reveal the culprit.

To be fair, they should check all the teachers' butts too.

[Resolute Conservative]

Where is the president today?

[cripplecreek]

Attack of Der Sneakenpooper.

[DeFault User]

In jr. high we had a dog visitor to the gym who would leave feces hanging from the wall. I don’t know what he was protesting, but he certainly had an unusual talent.

[Da Coyote]

One of the few times I agree with what the perps in a public school did.

However, it did remind me of a certain South Park episode.

[SeminoleCounty]

The girls gym teacher from Porky’s must be running that school

[USMCPOP]

Maybe they were just little Obama dolls.

[blueunicorn6]

Check their socks, too. They had “Mystery Meat” for lunch.

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

Who dropped the deuce in the urinal?

Hilarious.

[BCW]

[Albion Wilde]

To be fair, they should check all the teachers' butts too.

It's a good thing you're named "Fresh" Wind...

[HomeAtLast]

You send your kids to public school, you deserve to hear whatever they come home and tell you about. But they don't.

I'm at the point where it's truly hard to be civil to parents of public welfare schooling.

[jboot]

When I was in fourth grade, we had a gargantuanly obese kid that pooped "inappropriately" almost every day-in his pants, in corners, on the playground, you name it. His mother claimed that he had a "condition" and sent a little bag with fresh undies each day so the teacher could change him. Our teacher didn't buy it for a minute. She took Poopie aside and told him that if he did his thing even one more time that he was barred from the big class picnic that we were all REALLY looking forward to. "Condition" or no, Poopie was clean for the rest of the year.

I suppose that today the teacher would be fired or something.

[ExCTCitizen]

Where is the president today?

Fundraising for his third term or golfing...

[Tublecane]

“We’ve all been examined by nurses”

Yes, but ostensibly for medical purposes. Now I wonder if there were ulterior motives.

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

For some years there has been an Internet meme about elementary and high schools having “unannounced mandatory penis checks” of all male students, as a background to the confession of some male student who was woefully unprepared for his inspection, with disastrous results.

[blueunicorn6]

Oh, come on! This used to happen all the time. I don’t know how many times the professors checked our pants for crap. I just marked it down as “Part of the university experience”.