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Florida Man Assaulted Teen Relative With Taco Bell Burrito Say Cops
The Smoking Gun ^ | 2/26/2013

Posted on 02/26/2013 11:46:02 AM PST by llevrok

Florida man is facing a misdemeanor charge after allegedly battering a teenage relative with a Taco Bell burrito.

Police allege that Erik Brown, 36, throttled the 16-year-old boy in the face with the burrito during a February 15 domestic dispute at a Port St. Lucie residence.

The victim told cops that he was having a “verbal altercation” with his mother and Brown, his brother-in-law, when Brown “asked his mother to bring him the burrito,” according to an arrest affidavit.

Brown then allegedly threw the burrito “with force” at the victim, striking the boy in the face with the fast food item. While interviewing the teen, cops noted that he had “burrito cheese, sauce and meat all over his clothing and face.”

Brown told police that the victim was disrespectful to his mother and had cursed at the woman. He also acknowledged that he had “delivered” the burrito. After being booked into the county jail, Brown warned that he would “take care” of the teen upon his release from custody, adding that the victim “was going to get knocked out.”

According to online records, Brown, seen above, is scheduled for a March 20 arraignment in Circuit Court.


TOPICS: Food; Humor
KEYWORDS:
I don't know why I clicked "food" as a topic. An assault burrito from Taco Bell is terrorism IMHO.
1 posted on 02/26/2013 11:46:06 AM PST by llevrok
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To: llevrok

I thought perhaps it was a FROZEN burrito...but noooooo.


2 posted on 02/26/2013 11:50:29 AM PST by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: llevrok

Those thing’s assault my colin all the time


3 posted on 02/26/2013 11:52:41 AM PST by al baby (Hi Mom)
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To: llevrok
"Brown, seen above, is scheduled for a March 20 arraignment in Circuit Court."

And what's to keep the people in the court from busting out laughing throughout all the testimony?

4 posted on 02/26/2013 11:52:57 AM PST by eCSMaster (Palin was correct!)
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To: llevrok

It’s time to do thorough background checks on people who buy burritos.


5 posted on 02/26/2013 11:55:16 AM PST by WKUHilltopper (And yet...we continue to tolerate this crap...)
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To: llevrok

6 posted on 02/26/2013 11:57:54 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (Here once the embattled farmers stood... And fired the shot heard round the world.)
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To: llevrok
Was it an automatic burrito? What was the magazine size?
We need to ban all assault burritos, for the safety of our children.
Before we know it, people will arm themselves with high-capacity chimichangas and there will be mayhem in the streets.

7 posted on 02/26/2013 11:58:59 AM PST by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: llevrok

8 posted on 02/26/2013 12:01:00 PM PST by dirtboy
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To: llevrok

Meantime, in the county jail...

“Hey, what are you in for?”

“Assault with a deadly burrito.”


9 posted on 02/26/2013 12:03:32 PM PST by nonamer
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To: llevrok

To me, that’s like “dont’t throw me in the briar patch again!”


10 posted on 02/26/2013 12:05:37 PM PST by TurboZamboni (Looting the future to bribe the present)
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To: llevrok; al baby

Watch out for those sawed-off taco’s!

or those illegally modified with hot sauce


11 posted on 02/26/2013 12:09:27 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts
"Don't taze burrito me, bro......."
12 posted on 02/26/2013 12:10:43 PM PST by llevrok (Keep your arms out. It’ll make it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
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To: al baby

can we taco bout this?

thats nacho cheese!!


13 posted on 02/26/2013 12:11:15 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: al baby

The kids lucky they were eating takeout. Home cooking might have included a skillet. ;-)


14 posted on 02/26/2013 12:12:50 PM PST by Average Al
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To: llevrok
Was there a guitar involved???...It could have been "El Kabong"!!!

FMCDH(BITS)

15 posted on 02/26/2013 12:13:25 PM PST by nothingnew (I fear for my Republic due to marxist influence in our government. Open eyes/see)
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To: llevrok

The burrito bomber isn’t very smart. He should shut his mouth.


16 posted on 02/26/2013 12:13:56 PM PST by goldi
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To: llevrok
Was it before or after he ate it.

There's a difference, ya' know.

17 posted on 02/26/2013 12:15:02 PM PST by red-dawg
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To: llevrok

“Throttled” with a burrito? How does that work?


18 posted on 02/26/2013 12:15:21 PM PST by JennysCool (My hypocrisy goes only so far)
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To: llevrok

Thank God it wasn’t from Jack in the Box, or it might have been the burrito might have been “loaded”.


19 posted on 02/26/2013 12:15:31 PM PST by Hugin ("Most times a man'll tell you his bad intentions, if you listen and let yourself hear."---Open Range)
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To: llevrok
The Burrito Bandito:


20 posted on 02/26/2013 12:18:50 PM PST by null and void (Gun confiscation enables tyranny. Don't enable tyranny.)
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To: eCSMaster
And what's to keep the people in the court from busting out laughing throughout all the testimony?

30 days for contempt of court.

21 posted on 02/26/2013 12:21:39 PM PST by null and void (Gun confiscation enables tyranny. Don't enable tyranny.)
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To: llevrok

That kid was lucky he wasn’t dealing with my dad. A burrito would have been the least of his worries.


22 posted on 02/26/2013 12:32:03 PM PST by Lurkina.n.Learnin (Obama is the Chicken Little of politics)
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To: Lurkina.n.Learnin
That kid was lucky he wasn’t dealing with my dad. A burrito would have been the least of his worries.

Or my dad! My money says the kid's a punk and he deserved a good swift kick in the ass.

23 posted on 02/26/2013 12:54:38 PM PST by pgkdan ( "Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not." ~Thomas Jefferson)
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To: null and void

Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves
against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh
fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I’ll tell you something my lad.
When you’re walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes
after you with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come crying to me! Now,
the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion
fruit...


24 posted on 02/26/2013 12:58:32 PM PST by oncebitten (Obama: could not get a clue if he were covered in clue musk and standing in a field of horny clues.)
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To: llevrok

Burrito Power! Burrito Power! Time for ya’ll to trade in yer Uzis and AK-whatevers and get some real Burrito firepower!!! (Pity the poor cop who had to turn in this pathetic incident report .. Hahaha! Well, u know, everything has to be written up. Your tax money ‘at work’. Ha! )


25 posted on 02/26/2013 1:00:56 PM PST by faithhopecharity (()
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To: llevrok

No one needs an assault burrito. And those high-capacity boxes of tacos are dangerous too.


26 posted on 02/26/2013 1:24:38 PM PST by TigersEye (The irresponsible should not be leading the responsible.)
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To: llevrok

When burritos are outlawed, only outlaws will have burritos.


27 posted on 02/26/2013 1:38:01 PM PST by Mygirlsmom (Where the heck are we going, and what are we doing in this handbasket???)
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To: llevrok
throttled the 16-year-old boy in the face with the burrito

WTH? I thought that throttling was strangling or choking, not smacking.

28 posted on 02/26/2013 1:48:58 PM PST by Disambiguator
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To: llevrok
"Brown told police that the victim was disrespectful to his mother and had cursed at the woman."

Man-haters and their political/regulator SNAGs (sensitive New Age guys) replaced laws against disturbing the peace with their domestic intrusion corruption, and peace bonds against violent neighbors with restraining orders for breaking and robbing families.


29 posted on 02/26/2013 2:22:26 PM PST by familyop (We Baby Boomers are croaking in an avalanche of rotten politics smelled around the planet.)
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To: Disambiguator

You don’t expect a journalism major to know that do you.

I actually read each and every reply post too see if anyone else knew that.

You win a cookie.


30 posted on 02/26/2013 2:35:48 PM PST by Pontiac (The welfare state must fail because it is contrary to human nature and diminishes the human spirit.)
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To: JennysCool

You could if force fed it to the kid with the wrapper still on.


31 posted on 02/26/2013 2:37:54 PM PST by Pontiac (The welfare state must fail because it is contrary to human nature and diminishes the human spirit.)
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To: llevrok

Drop the Chalupa!


32 posted on 02/26/2013 2:39:42 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: oncebitten

23 replies before a Python skit. What took so long? This website ain’t what it used to be...


33 posted on 02/26/2013 2:41:10 PM PST by TexasRepublic (Socialism is the gospel of envy and the religion of thieves)
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To: TigersEye
No one needs an assault burrito

You're right. You can adequately hunt deer with a quesadilla. What do you need an assault burrito for? Indeed!!

34 posted on 02/26/2013 3:36:33 PM PST by llevrok (Keep your arms out. It’ll make it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
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To: llevrok
Or as Joe Biden recommends...

"All you need is some hot sauce. If someone attacks you, and this is what I told my wife, Jill, if someone attacks you put some hot sauce on your fingers and poke them in the eyes. I guarantee you they will run away crying like a Democrat congressman."

35 posted on 02/26/2013 3:48:20 PM PST by TigersEye (The irresponsible should not be leading the responsible.)
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To: llevrok

most taco bell food normally is an assault on your body. often you can light a cigar from your butthole for a couple days after.


36 posted on 02/26/2013 4:42:12 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (I can neither confirm or deny that; even if I could, I couldn't - it's classified.)
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To: llevrok; All

...musta been one of these guys?

Sorry... I couldn't resist.

37 posted on 02/26/2013 4:51:54 PM PST by Rodamala
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