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Florida Man Assaulted Teen Relative With Taco Bell Burrito Say Cops
The Smoking Gun ^ | 2/26/2013

Posted on 02/26/2013 11:46:02 AM PST by llevrok

Florida man is facing a misdemeanor charge after allegedly battering a teenage relative with a Taco Bell burrito.

Police allege that Erik Brown, 36, throttled the 16-year-old boy in the face with the burrito during a February 15 domestic dispute at a Port St. Lucie residence.

The victim told cops that he was having a “verbal altercation” with his mother and Brown, his brother-in-law, when Brown “asked his mother to bring him the burrito,” according to an arrest affidavit.

Brown then allegedly threw the burrito “with force” at the victim, striking the boy in the face with the fast food item. While interviewing the teen, cops noted that he had “burrito cheese, sauce and meat all over his clothing and face.”

Brown told police that the victim was disrespectful to his mother and had cursed at the woman. He also acknowledged that he had “delivered” the burrito. After being booked into the county jail, Brown warned that he would “take care” of the teen upon his release from custody, adding that the victim “was going to get knocked out.”

According to online records, Brown, seen above, is scheduled for a March 20 arraignment in Circuit Court.


TOPICS: Food; Humor
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I don't know why I clicked "food" as a topic. An assault burrito from Taco Bell is terrorism IMHO.
1 posted on 02/26/2013 11:46:06 AM PST by llevrok
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To: llevrok

I thought perhaps it was a FROZEN burrito...but noooooo.


2 posted on 02/26/2013 11:50:29 AM PST by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: llevrok

Those thing’s assault my colin all the time


3 posted on 02/26/2013 11:52:41 AM PST by al baby (Hi Mom)
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To: llevrok
"Brown, seen above, is scheduled for a March 20 arraignment in Circuit Court."

And what's to keep the people in the court from busting out laughing throughout all the testimony?

4 posted on 02/26/2013 11:52:57 AM PST by eCSMaster (Palin was correct!)
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To: llevrok

It’s time to do thorough background checks on people who buy burritos.


5 posted on 02/26/2013 11:55:16 AM PST by WKUHilltopper (And yet...we continue to tolerate this crap...)
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To: llevrok

6 posted on 02/26/2013 11:57:54 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (Here once the embattled farmers stood... And fired the shot heard round the world.)
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To: llevrok
Was it an automatic burrito? What was the magazine size?
We need to ban all assault burritos, for the safety of our children.
Before we know it, people will arm themselves with high-capacity chimichangas and there will be mayhem in the streets.

7 posted on 02/26/2013 11:58:59 AM PST by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: llevrok

8 posted on 02/26/2013 12:01:00 PM PST by dirtboy
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To: llevrok

Meantime, in the county jail...

“Hey, what are you in for?”

“Assault with a deadly burrito.”


9 posted on 02/26/2013 12:03:32 PM PST by nonamer
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To: llevrok

To me, that’s like “dont’t throw me in the briar patch again!”


10 posted on 02/26/2013 12:05:37 PM PST by TurboZamboni (Looting the future to bribe the present)
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To: llevrok; al baby

Watch out for those sawed-off taco’s!

or those illegally modified with hot sauce


11 posted on 02/26/2013 12:09:27 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts
"Don't taze burrito me, bro......."
12 posted on 02/26/2013 12:10:43 PM PST by llevrok (Keep your arms out. ItÂ’ll make it harder for them to throw a net over you.)
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To: al baby

can we taco bout this?

thats nacho cheese!!


13 posted on 02/26/2013 12:11:15 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: al baby

The kids lucky they were eating takeout. Home cooking might have included a skillet. ;-)


14 posted on 02/26/2013 12:12:50 PM PST by Average Al
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To: llevrok
Was there a guitar involved???...It could have been "El Kabong"!!!

FMCDH(BITS)

15 posted on 02/26/2013 12:13:25 PM PST by nothingnew (I fear for my Republic due to marxist influence in our government. Open eyes/see)
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To: llevrok

The burrito bomber isn’t very smart. He should shut his mouth.


16 posted on 02/26/2013 12:13:56 PM PST by goldi
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To: llevrok
Was it before or after he ate it.

There's a difference, ya' know.

17 posted on 02/26/2013 12:15:02 PM PST by red-dawg
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To: llevrok

“Throttled” with a burrito? How does that work?


18 posted on 02/26/2013 12:15:21 PM PST by JennysCool (My hypocrisy goes only so far)
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To: llevrok

Thank God it wasn’t from Jack in the Box, or it might have been the burrito might have been “loaded”.


19 posted on 02/26/2013 12:15:31 PM PST by Hugin ("Most times a man'll tell you his bad intentions, if you listen and let yourself hear."---Open Range)
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To: llevrok
The Burrito Bandito:


20 posted on 02/26/2013 12:18:50 PM PST by null and void (Gun confiscation enables tyranny. Don't enable tyranny.)
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