Florida Man Assaulted Teen Relative With Taco Bell Burrito Say Cops

The Smoking Gun ^ | 2/26/2013

[llevrok]

Florida man is facing a misdemeanor charge after allegedly battering a teenage relative with a Taco Bell burrito.

Police allege that Erik Brown, 36, throttled the 16-year-old boy in the face with the burrito during a February 15 domestic dispute at a Port St. Lucie residence.

The victim told cops that he was having a “verbal altercation” with his mother and Brown, his brother-in-law, when Brown “asked his mother to bring him the burrito,” according to an arrest affidavit.

Brown then allegedly threw the burrito “with force” at the victim, striking the boy in the face with the fast food item. While interviewing the teen, cops noted that he had “burrito cheese, sauce and meat all over his clothing and face.”

Brown told police that the victim was disrespectful to his mother and had cursed at the woman. He also acknowledged that he had “delivered” the burrito. After being booked into the county jail, Brown warned that he would “take care” of the teen upon his release from custody, adding that the victim “was going to get knocked out.”

According to online records, Brown, seen above, is scheduled for a March 20 arraignment in Circuit Court.

[llevrok]

I don't know why I clicked "food" as a topic. An assault burrito from Taco Bell is terrorism IMHO.

[Chickensoup]

I thought perhaps it was a FROZEN burrito...but noooooo.

[al baby]

Those thing’s assault my colin all the time

[FroggyTheGremlim]

"Brown, seen above, is scheduled for a March 20 arraignment in Circuit Court."

And what's to keep the people in the court from busting out laughing throughout all the testimony?

[WKUHilltopper]

It’s time to do thorough background checks on people who buy burritos.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

[BitWielder1]

Was it an automatic burrito? What was the magazine size?
We need to ban all assault burritos, for the safety of our children.
Before we know it, people will arm themselves with high-capacity chimichangas and there will be mayhem in the streets.

[dirtboy]

[nonamer]

Meantime, in the county jail...

“Hey, what are you in for?”

“Assault with a deadly burrito.”

[TurboZamboni]

To me, that’s like “dont’t throw me in the briar patch again!”

[GeronL]

Watch out for those sawed-off taco’s!

or those illegally modified with hot sauce

[llevrok]

"Don't taze burrito me, bro......."

[GeronL]

can we taco bout this?

thats nacho cheese!!

[Average Al]

The kids lucky they were eating takeout. Home cooking might have included a skillet. ;-)

[nothingnew]

Was there a guitar involved???...It could have been "El Kabong"!!!

FMCDH(BITS)

[goldi]

The burrito bomber isn’t very smart. He should shut his mouth.

[red-dawg]

Was it before or after he ate it.

There's a difference, ya' know.

[JennysCool]

“Throttled” with a burrito? How does that work?

[Hugin]

Thank God it wasn’t from Jack in the Box, or it might have been the burrito might have been “loaded”.

[null and void]

The Burrito Bandito: