Skip to comments.Scream at a Bum, 50 Cents a Minute
Posted on 03/04/2013 9:24:55 PM PST by nickcarraway
If you are one of the tens of thousands of drivers who drove through the intersection at Memorial and Penn. Ave. Friday, you may have seen a pan-handler who caught your attention.
It is, after all, one of the busiest intersections in Oklahoma City and a hot spot for homeless.
Calvin McCraw worked the north side of the intersection Friday holding a sign that read, Angry?! Frustrated? Scream-At-A-Bum 50 cents / Min.
I get a lot of people to laugh, McCraw said. I worry about the ones that dont laugh. Id rather get people to smile than get their money.
McCraw makes between $30 and $40 per day depending on how long he pan-handles.
Most people dont actually scream.
I had one girl who paid me to take a picture of her choking me, McCraw laughed.
He moved to Oklahoma City from New Mexico to roughneck in the oil patch.
He said he cant work because he injured his hand.
He lives on the streets, borrowing some space on a friends floor when it is particularly cold outside.
We spent about an hour with McCraw Friday morning.
No one screamed.
Dang, I can’t believe my younger sister is doing that.
Shows great initiative and creativity in this 0bama Depression.
This must be that “private sector that’s doing just fine!” That Obama told us about.
Oh, another thing - the ‘mental health’ bunch doesn't take to cut rate therapeutic competition.
The mentals don’t like cutrate competition,eh? Well, our hero may have to raise his rates then. Alas! Oh, I got it. Maybe he cAn still attract custom at the new higher rates if he just offers a wider range of (some higher) prices and services. Such as, “scream at bum 50 cts, pee on bum $1.00”. There, how’s that?
The mentals don’t like cutrate competition,eh? Well, our hero may have to raise his rates then. Alas! Oh, I got it. Maybe he cAn still attract custom at the new higher rates if he just offers enhanced services. Such as, instead of “scream at bum 50 cts,” he can offer “ pee on bum $1.00”. There, how’s that? Problem solved.
“Pee On A Bum” won’t work because:
1. Takes too long to:
A. make decision to hire bum.
B. get out of car.
C. expose oneself.
2. Delays result in traffic delays and probable ticket for “Obstructing ticket”.
3. When “C” above occurs, the Long Arm & Flat Foot of John Law will arrest Mr. Bum’s customer for “Indecent Exposure.
4. At that point, both bum and customer will be trampled to death by a thundering herd of unemployed lawyers seeking to represent them in court.
Note that John Law will have not a single foot print on his semi-scared person because he provides work for the lawyers.
” A man who never graduated from school might steal from a freight car. But a man who attends college and graduates as a lawyer might steal the whole railroad!”
— President Theodore Roosevelt, attempting to persuade his son to become a lawyer