Skip to comments.Meanwhile at the Little Commie Shop (or Dead Hugo) - Vanity
Posted on 03/05/2013 7:28:49 PM PST by mnehring
Mr. Castro: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Castro: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Castro: (pause)I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Castro: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this Hugo what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Venezulian Red...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Castro: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Castro: Look, matey, I know a dead Hugo when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Venezulian Red, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Castro: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Castro: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Commie Hugo! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...
(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Castro: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Castro: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Castro: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO COMMIE!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes Hugo out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Castro: Now that's what I call a dead Hugo.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Castro: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Venezulian Reds stun easily, major.
Mr. Castro: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That Hugo is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Mr. Castro: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Venezulian Red prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Castro: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Hugo when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Castro: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Castro: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This Hugo is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-HUGO!!
It’s too bad Dead Commie Leader isn’t an easily-contracted, airborne virus...
I bet he really smells sulfur now!
It may be that he’s oblivious till the Last Day, but I imagine he will eventually fish in the lake of fire, as most “kings of the world” will do, according to God’s Word.
Perfect photo, and that’s a good play you wrote, by the way.
I can’t take credit for the play, only the modifications.
The play is a classic.
I think Hugo is a good Communist Dictator.
You know. The only good commie is a dead commie.
Oh, good grief—I missed it! I like Monty Python but have not seen all the episodes they did. Some of their movies are twisted classics!
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