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The Difference Between Cats and Dogs
YouTube ^ | 2-11-13 | YouTube

Posted on 03/09/2013 11:51:18 AM PST by mkmensinger

Watch to the end.


TOPICS: Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: cats; doggieping; dogs; kittyping
Funny
1 posted on 03/09/2013 11:51:18 AM PST by mkmensinger
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To: mkmensinger

Thanks for the laugh! I needed it.


2 posted on 03/09/2013 11:57:14 AM PST by USMCPOP (Father of LCpl. Karl Linn, KIA 1/26/2005 Al Haqlaniyah, Iraq)
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To: USMCPOP
Thanks for the laugh! I needed it.

I'll second that.

I figured out what was coming within the first few seconds; that didn't, however, make it any less funny.

3 posted on 03/09/2013 11:59:45 AM PST by Standing Wolf
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To: mkmensinger
pretty much...
4 posted on 03/09/2013 12:00:10 PM PST by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: AnAmericanMother; Titan Magroyne; Badeye; SandRat; arbooz; potlatch; afraidfortherepublic; ...
WOOOF!

Computer Hope

The Doggie Ping list is for FReepers who would like to be notified of threads relating to all things canid. If you would like to join the Doggie Ping Pack (or be unleashed from it), FReemail me.

5 posted on 03/09/2013 12:01:52 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: mkmensinger

ROFL.... I luv it... that’s great! Thank you.


6 posted on 03/09/2013 12:04:10 PM PST by mlizzy (If people spent an hour a week in Eucharistic adoration, abortion would be ended. --Mother Teresa)
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To: mkmensinger

LOL OMG thanks so much that video was HILARIOUS I saw that coming at the end LOL


7 posted on 03/09/2013 12:09:58 PM PST by Sarah Barracuda
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To: Joe 6-pack; yorkie

Take two minutes and watch this! :-)


8 posted on 03/09/2013 12:21:01 PM PST by left that other site (Worry is the darkroom that developes negatives.)
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To: mkmensinger; Chode

I’ve seen both videos separately, but together, they make a seriesly hugh point! LOL!


9 posted on 03/09/2013 12:24:32 PM PST by Monkey Face (In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. ~ Ben Franklin)
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To: windcliff; stylecouncilor

Funny bump....


10 posted on 03/09/2013 12:27:34 PM PST by onedoug
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To: Monkey Face
the bigger question is... are dog people and cat people the same way???
11 posted on 03/09/2013 12:29:21 PM PST by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: mkmensinger

How To Give A Cat A Pill:

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill you just swallowed is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Get a screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Clean and bandage slashed, bloody arms and face. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw bloody, shredded T-shirt away and get a new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire dept to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small adjustable wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm, and removes pill remnants from right eye. Also, be quite still for your tetanus shot before beginning your 10-day regimen of antibiotics. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for vet to make a house call.


12 posted on 03/09/2013 12:30:56 PM PST by carriage_hill (AR-10s & AR-15s Are The 21st Century's Muskets. Free Men Need Not Ask Permission!)
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To: mkmensinger

Cat Rules:

1) The cat is not allowed on the furniture.

2) Alright, the cat can go on the furniture, but NOT on the kitchen counter.

3) OK, the cat can go on the kitchen counter, too, but just not when I’m preparing meals.

4) Fine, The cat can go wherever it wants, whenever it wants, as long as it doesn’t swat me in the face at 4:30 in the morning, demanding to be fed.

5) Yes, the cat will be fed at 4:30 in the morning.

6) Dogs have masters, cats have staff.


13 posted on 03/09/2013 12:31:35 PM PST by carriage_hill (AR-10s & AR-15s Are The 21st Century's Muskets. Free Men Need Not Ask Permission!)
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To: mkmensinger

Cat Bathing As A Martial Art:

1. Know that although the kitty cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don’t try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, we recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)

2. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. We recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.

3. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)

4. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo.

5. You have now begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.

6. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He’ll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don’t expect too much.)

7. Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through. That’s because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.

8. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.

9. In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.

10. You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn’t usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better.


14 posted on 03/09/2013 12:32:44 PM PST by carriage_hill (AR-10s & AR-15s Are The 21st Century's Muskets. Free Men Need Not Ask Permission!)
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To: mkmensinger

Thanks for sharing. One thing to note...you don’t have to teach cats to walk down stairs ;-P


15 posted on 03/09/2013 1:00:53 PM PST by mass55th (Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway...John Wayne)
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To: berdie

later


16 posted on 03/09/2013 1:11:11 PM PST by berdie
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To: carriage_hill

We used to have a rescued stray cat. He’d spend the night outdoors and sometimes came home smelling ripe. I’d don leather jacket and gauntlets and the wife would bathe him. It wasn’t fun.


17 posted on 03/09/2013 1:18:36 PM PST by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink)
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To: R. Scott

Skunk whiz? Possum pee? Try a lemon wass, first, to neutralize the smell, then give him a “kitty valium” before the bath. Take 2 yourself, with a dbl scotch. You’ll still get ripped to shreds, but you won’t give a crap. LOL.


18 posted on 03/09/2013 1:28:20 PM PST by carriage_hill (AR-10s & AR-15s Are The 21st Century's Muskets. Free Men Need Not Ask Permission!)
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To: R. Scott

The difference between how dogs and cats view the world:

You go to the shelter, pick skinny dog, take it home, bathe it, feed it, put weight on it and the dog thinks you must be God.

You go to the shelter, pick skinny cat and do the same as the dog and the cat thinks it must God.


19 posted on 03/09/2013 2:06:11 PM PST by Cuttnhorse
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To: mkmensinger

Thanks for the laugh! Great video! So true!


20 posted on 03/09/2013 2:23:31 PM PST by SaraJohnson
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To: mkmensinger

Excellent.


21 posted on 03/09/2013 2:36:13 PM PST by Sans-Culotte ( Pray for Obama- Psalm 109:8)
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To: mkmensinger
The Difference Between Cats and Dogs

Dogs evolved in Eurasia. Cats evolved in Africa. Think about it.

22 posted on 03/09/2013 2:58:00 PM PST by Albion Wilde (Liberalism: knowing you're better than everyone else because of your humility. -- Daniel Greenfield)
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To: Pride in the USA; Stillwaters

LOL!


23 posted on 03/09/2013 3:04:17 PM PST by lonevoice (Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived)
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To: mkmensinger

LOL! Funny! :)=^..^=


24 posted on 03/09/2013 6:17:59 PM PST by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
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To: mkmensinger

Too, too funny


25 posted on 03/09/2013 6:18:35 PM PST by tob2 (Hurry up spring, I'm tired of winter!)
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To: lonevoice

OMG! that is priceless!!!!


26 posted on 03/09/2013 6:25:20 PM PST by Pride in the USA
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To: Pride in the USA

I had a young horse who was being trained to cross streams. No matter what was tried, the horse refused to get into the water, until finally an old horse by the name of Bob, seeing all the ruckus, stepped into the stream...paused, then looked pointedly at the young horse. Bob then lowered his muzzle to drink and again looked up pointedly at the young horse. It was obvious they were communicating. Young horse’s ears waggle uncertainly, then he hesitantly stepped into the stream and was just fine from then on. Bob didn’t even get a salary for being a horse trainer, just a pat and a “good boy, Bob.” :-)


27 posted on 03/09/2013 6:51:23 PM PST by freepertoo
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To: mkmensinger

LOL


28 posted on 03/09/2013 8:35:11 PM PST by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote; then find me a real conservative to vote for)
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To: mkmensinger

...and that is why dogs are the superior species.


29 posted on 03/10/2013 7:53:04 AM PDT by Altariel ("Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!")
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To: Slings and Arrows

Irrefutable proof.

Just saying. :)


30 posted on 03/10/2013 7:55:56 AM PDT by Altariel ("Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!")
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