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Wisconsin
email | 3-14-13 | unknown

Posted on 03/14/2013 2:59:49 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic

~ Wisconsin ~

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Rice Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too pricey," you might live in Wisconsin.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.

If someone in a store offers assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Head Cheese, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have either a pet or a child named "Aaron," you might live in Wisconsin.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Waunakee, Shawano, Kewaunee, Stoughton, Menomonie, & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin.

If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "Frommmm the land of sky-blue waters,".....you might live in Wisconsin.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on Highway Y.

2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy. 8 for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.

7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings and funerals).

9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as beer, more beer, fish and venison.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Farm & Fleet Farm at any given time.

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

15. You refer to the Packers as "we."

16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.

17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.

19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.

20. You know how to polka.

21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

23. Down South to you means Illinois.

24. A brat is something you eat.

25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

26. You go out to a fish fry every Friday night.

27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

29. You find minus twenty degrees "a little chilly."

30. You actually understand these jokes and you forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: humor; wisconsin

1 posted on 03/14/2013 2:59:49 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Wisconsin has done some things I would never have believed could happen.

Go Gov Walker!


2 posted on 03/14/2013 3:01:20 PM PDT by nascarnation (Baraq's economic policy: trickle up poverty)
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To: afraidfortherepublic; Hunton Peck; Diana in Wisconsin; P from Sheb; Shady; DonkeyBonker; ...

A little bit of humor for a long day...

FReep Mail me if you want on, or off, this Wisconsin interest ping list.


3 posted on 03/14/2013 3:01:48 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: afraidfortherepublic

>>If you have either a pet or a child named “Aaron,” you might live in Wisconsin.<<

OTOH, if you have a pet or a child named “Ikea” you might live in the SF Bay area...


4 posted on 03/14/2013 3:05:58 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Establishment Republicans don't like that totalitarian thing unless it is THEIR totalitarian thing!)
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To: nascarnation

That is surely true. We could write another list. It would start off with:

1. If your government union neighbor thinks it is an assaut on his freedom if he is required to contribute to his own retirement fund, you must live in Wisconsin.

2. If a candidate for reelection in your county is found to have signed the petition to recall the governor, you must live in Wisconsin.

If the police chief of the largest city in your state is publicly arguuing with the sheriff of the county in which that city is located over the right of citizens to carry arms, you must live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

And so forth...


5 posted on 03/14/2013 3:07:23 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: freedumb2003

LOLOL!


6 posted on 03/14/2013 3:07:56 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: afraidfortherepublic

LOL! Thanks for posting this. All is true except that I can’t polka.


7 posted on 03/14/2013 3:12:21 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: afraidfortherepublic
If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "Frommmm the land of sky-blue waters,".....you might live in Wisconsin.

Hate to disappoint you, but the Hamm's beer bear is from Minnesota.

The rest were pretty funny, though.

8 posted on 03/14/2013 3:12:56 PM PDT by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Why would the local burger joint be closed November through March?


9 posted on 03/14/2013 3:16:40 PM PDT by bgill
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To: Vigilanteman

Yeah, but quite a few of us Wisconsinites saw those commercials. And I thought there should be some mention of lutefisk and lefse. And Ole and Lena jokes.


10 posted on 03/14/2013 3:18:51 PM PDT by driftless2
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To: bgill

The DQ near me (I am in Wisconsin) closed in winter. I am guessing they close because most people don’t eat a lot of ice cream when it is cold. This DQ was also right near Lake Michigan and a lot of their busienss was probably seasonal.


11 posted on 03/14/2013 3:21:11 PM PDT by LukeL (Barack Obama: Jimmy Carter 2 Electric Boogaloo)
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To: Jean S

What??? You must not be a native!

:)


12 posted on 03/14/2013 3:21:25 PM PDT by Bradís Gramma (Psalm 83)
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To: afraidfortherepublic

#25

I thought it was called pile BARN?!?!?!?!???


13 posted on 03/14/2013 3:23:47 PM PDT by Bradís Gramma (Psalm 83)
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To: Brad's Gramma

I was born in Wisconsin but lived in CA and NJ for a time. Took the polka out of me!


14 posted on 03/14/2013 3:24:02 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: bgill

Some smaller towns have Dairy Queens that are walk up stands — no indoor seating. Normally, they close in November and re-open in the spring. You can imagine why with our weather. The owners go to Florida, or Texas for the winter.


15 posted on 03/14/2013 3:25:08 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: Jean S

How about the weddings where all the great aunts danced together?

My sister & I told our kids to shoot us if we ever even TRIED that!


16 posted on 03/14/2013 3:26:03 PM PDT by Bradís Gramma (Psalm 83)
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To: Brad's Gramma

Depends on the size of the building, I suppose. My neighbor threw a party to celebrate the completion of his pole garage. It’s just a description of the style of construction.


17 posted on 03/14/2013 3:28:09 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: LukeL

Ice cream is down on the sells list from the burgers and fries at all the DQs I’ve been to.


18 posted on 03/14/2013 3:30:10 PM PDT by bgill
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To: Vigilanteman

You know, I thought that; but I figured I must of just forgotten some part of it. A lot of people who live up by our northern border don’t know whether they are in MN or WI, they cross the border so often.


19 posted on 03/14/2013 3:31:44 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Moved to Cleveland area 30 years ago, but I still qualify. Ain’i hey?


20 posted on 03/14/2013 3:39:45 PM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: afraidfortherepublic
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year

Everyone's a white guy when you're walking on ice.

21 posted on 03/14/2013 3:40:20 PM PDT by DManA
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To: afraidfortherepublic

If you personally know more than one person named Tommy Thompson, you might be from Wisconsin.


22 posted on 03/14/2013 3:41:54 PM PDT by jjotto ("Ya could look it up!")
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Hmmmm....I guess I’ve been away for too long, too!


23 posted on 03/14/2013 3:50:23 PM PDT by Bradís Gramma (Psalm 83)
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To: afraidfortherepublic
I love the Wisconsin towns that are not socialist-run. That said, I recently learned while watching a documentary on a Milwaukee PBS station, that the city of Milwaukee has been under a socialist government since about the turn of the century. The tentacles of socialism has been wrapping itself around Wisconsin for some time. In fact, the moderator of this documentary, an obviously proud socialist, cited all the past clashes socialist Wisconsin has had with non-socialists recently, and that this guy is very proud of his state's socialist tradition. Today, Milwaukee does have a socialist Mayor, and I can also name Madison as a lefty town..can someone name the other socialist towns/cities of Wisconsin?

I am so grateful for Governor Scott Walker, a true Conservative, and I hope for the total destruction of socialism in Wisconsin. God bless you hard working Americans in Wisconsin who are fighting the good fight against socialism, from a FReeper from Illinois, who is also fighting the good fight.

24 posted on 03/14/2013 3:51:01 PM PDT by itssme
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To: afraidfortherepublic
Ws is the only place I've been where they label their county roads with letters.

Highway Y.

25 posted on 03/14/2013 3:52:26 PM PDT by DManA
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To: itssme

Wausau, from what I see, is another lost city to socialism.

I could be wrong.


26 posted on 03/14/2013 3:53:12 PM PDT by Bradís Gramma (Psalm 83)
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To: Vigilanteman

>>Hate to disappoint you, but the Hamm’s beer bear is from Minnesota.<<

My late Uncle (God rest his soul) was a beer distributor and gave us a couple of those then state-of-the-art moving waterfall Hamm’s signs (this was probably 40 years ago).

I would give anything to have even one of them now.

I also had a “Tiger in the Tank” wall plaque that could probably pay cash for an entire house today.

Youth is wasted on the young...


27 posted on 03/14/2013 4:02:42 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Establishment Republicans don't like that totalitarian thing unless it is THEIR totalitarian thing!)
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To: bgill; LukeL; afraidfortherepublic
Ice cream is down on the sells list from the burgers and fries at all the DQs I’ve been to.

DQ marketing is different up here. Most of them are open from Mid-April to Late-October. That creates a craving that comes with the excitement of spring. It is a treat to go for a DQ ice cream in the heat of summer, but most of us never eat their burgers. The few DQ's I've seen with seating areas never seem to last long.

I liked your list, aftr, 16-21 easily apply to me.

28 posted on 03/14/2013 4:37:55 PM PDT by fanfan ("If Muslim kids were asked to go to church on Sunday and take Holy Communion there would be war.")
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To: afraidfortherepublic

“If someone in a store offers assistance, and they don’t work there, you might live in Wisconsin.”

LOL! Happens at my shop all the time; my customers know their stuff! :)


29 posted on 03/14/2013 4:44:36 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

Being a native Gnu Yakker but married to the Love of my Life who is from Antigo (and also being a life long Packer fan, now owner) this collection is right on the money, donchaknow...


30 posted on 03/14/2013 5:10:11 PM PDT by Shady (Libya shows us how Americans rate...)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

Happens to me too. Plus the Post Office in the town where my business is located has the nicest people. I’ve had both men and women, teens to elderly, hold the door for me. This happened to me even before I started using a cane.

Yet, in the town where I live — just a few miles closer to Milwaukee — they’ll trample you to get a place in line just ahead of you. I blame it on all the people from Chicago who have moved here for “rural and residential” and want to urbanize the place now that they’re here.

There should be a special place in H*** for people who move next to a farm and then complain about the chickens, cows, or horses.


31 posted on 03/14/2013 5:30:26 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: driftless2

I used to work with a guy from Minnesota. He told me an Ole and Lena story.

Lena was a bartender in a small tavern in Minnesota. She fell in love with a customer, Ole. They married and moved to St. Paul. A few years later, they visited the home town and Lena went to her old place of employment. Lena had gained considerable heft.

The owner said, “Lena, you could play with the Green Bay Packers!” Lena replied, “Ole’s packer is all I want to play with.”


32 posted on 03/14/2013 5:59:40 PM PDT by MisterArtery
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To: afraidfortherepublic

> *You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.
> *You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
> *You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the church & reception.
> *You know the difference between “Green” and “Red” farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
> *You buy Christmas presents at Farm & Fleet.
> *You spent more on beer and liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
> *You hear someone use the word “oof-dah” and you don’t break into uncontrollable laughter.
> *You or someone you know was a “Dairy Queen” at the county fair.
> *You know that “combine” is a noun. *You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steelpost in the middle of winter.
> *You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
> *You know that “creek” rhymes with “pick”.
> *Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
> *A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer and then out for Friday night fish.
> *Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.
> *There was at least one, if not several, in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning.
> *You have driven your car on the lake. *You can make sense of “upnort,” “bat-tree” and “warrssh.”
> *Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.
> *Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
> *The local gas station sells live bait.
> *At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
> *You think that the start of deer season or (the Packers going to the Super Bowl) is a national holiday!
> *You or somebody you know has transformed their pole shed into a second home and spends more time there then in their home.
> You actually understand these & will forward to your Wisconsin friends!!


33 posted on 03/14/2013 6:10:37 PM PDT by gorush (History repeats itself because human nature is static)
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To: afraidfortherepublic

They all make perfect sense to me!


34 posted on 03/14/2013 6:49:13 PM PDT by Wisconsinlady (When will the rest of America's citizens wake up to the Obamanation?)
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To: LukeL

But, if you live in Milwaukee, there is always Leon’s custard. I believe they are open daily other than being closed Christmas and from noon til 3:00 on Good Friday.

Their Super Sunday is like a meal.


35 posted on 03/14/2013 7:16:46 PM PDT by mouse1
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To: driftless2
I think North Dakotans tell even better Ole and Lena jokes than Minnesotans. They definitely make better lefse.

Lutefisk? Can't tell you because I could never bring myself to eat the stuff.

36 posted on 03/14/2013 7:41:02 PM PDT by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: gorush

Outstanding and all true!


37 posted on 03/14/2013 7:50:39 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: gorush

How about: “If Midnight Mass starts at 9 PM, you know you’re in Wisconsin.”

That was the hardest thing I had to get used to when I moved here. Every other place I’d ever lived — Midnight meant 12:00 AM


38 posted on 03/14/2013 7:58:41 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: afraidfortherepublic
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Rice Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.

Colder than Alaska?

39 posted on 03/14/2013 8:03:48 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

I’ve been ASKED to assist at WalMart and Woodman’s a couple of times. I guess I just have an approachable face. :-)


40 posted on 03/14/2013 8:32:50 PM PDT by knittnmom (Save the earth! It's the only planet with chocolate!)
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To: Vigilanteman
"never...eat the stuff"

It's not too bad. Something like fishy-tasting jello. Yikes, that does sound awful doesn't it?

41 posted on 03/15/2013 3:27:09 AM PDT by driftless2
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To: driftless2
That's what I hear. But somehow, grating dried fish, soaking it until it has enough water, adding a pack of jello and putting the concoction into the fridge to set, then eating it sounds a LOT more appealing because it misses one important ingredient: lye.
42 posted on 03/15/2013 5:52:40 AM PDT by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: knittnmom

You do! I get asked when I’m in other stores, too.

I guess we just have that, ‘Made For Retail’ type of face, LOL! :)


43 posted on 03/15/2013 6:25:26 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: gorush

“You buy Christmas presents at Farm & Fleet.”

There are other stores? What the heck for? LOL!

Mr. Wonderful has been helping me remodel my kitchen. He went to F & F for something and came back with a new set of Chicago Cutlery kitchen knives for me. He said they were, ‘practical and pretty’ just like me. Awww!

Now WHAT is not to love about that OR gifts from Farm & Fleet? :)

(Now, if he’d only get me that milk cow I keep asking for...my life would be PERFECT!)


44 posted on 03/15/2013 6:33:47 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

If they sell beer at every gas station you must be in Wisconsin.


45 posted on 03/15/2013 6:46:39 AM PDT by tractorman (I never miss a chance to tweak a liberal.)
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To: fanfan

When I was a kid, about 1970, they’d never heard of a milk shake at DQs in Minnesota. My grandfather had cancer and couldn’t eat a hamburger so had to have something through a straw. We had to teach them how to make shakes and they just shook their heads like we were crazy. To think that’s their mainstay today is weird.


46 posted on 03/15/2013 8:41:24 AM PDT by bgill
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To: bgill

Do you have Tim Horton’s?


47 posted on 03/15/2013 4:20:26 PM PDT by fanfan ("If Muslim kids were asked to go to church on Sunday and take Holy Communion there would be war.")
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