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Wisconsin
email | 3-14-13 | unknown

Posted on 03/14/2013 2:59:49 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic

~ Wisconsin ~

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Rice Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too pricey," you might live in Wisconsin.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.

If someone in a store offers assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Head Cheese, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have either a pet or a child named "Aaron," you might live in Wisconsin.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Waunakee, Shawano, Kewaunee, Stoughton, Menomonie, & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin.

If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "Frommmm the land of sky-blue waters,".....you might live in Wisconsin.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on Highway Y.

2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy. 8 for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.

7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings and funerals).

9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as beer, more beer, fish and venison.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Farm & Fleet Farm at any given time.

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

15. You refer to the Packers as "we."

16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.

17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.

19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.

20. You know how to polka.

21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

23. Down South to you means Illinois.

24. A brat is something you eat.

25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

26. You go out to a fish fry every Friday night.

27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

29. You find minus twenty degrees "a little chilly."

30. You actually understand these jokes and you forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: humor; wisconsin
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1 posted on 03/14/2013 2:59:49 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Wisconsin has done some things I would never have believed could happen.

Go Gov Walker!


2 posted on 03/14/2013 3:01:20 PM PDT by nascarnation (Baraq's economic policy: trickle up poverty)
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To: afraidfortherepublic; Hunton Peck; Diana in Wisconsin; P from Sheb; Shady; DonkeyBonker; ...

A little bit of humor for a long day...

FReep Mail me if you want on, or off, this Wisconsin interest ping list.


3 posted on 03/14/2013 3:01:48 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: afraidfortherepublic

>>If you have either a pet or a child named “Aaron,” you might live in Wisconsin.<<

OTOH, if you have a pet or a child named “Ikea” you might live in the SF Bay area...


4 posted on 03/14/2013 3:05:58 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Establishment Republicans don't like that totalitarian thing unless it is THEIR totalitarian thing!)
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To: nascarnation

That is surely true. We could write another list. It would start off with:

1. If your government union neighbor thinks it is an assaut on his freedom if he is required to contribute to his own retirement fund, you must live in Wisconsin.

2. If a candidate for reelection in your county is found to have signed the petition to recall the governor, you must live in Wisconsin.

If the police chief of the largest city in your state is publicly arguuing with the sheriff of the county in which that city is located over the right of citizens to carry arms, you must live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

And so forth...


5 posted on 03/14/2013 3:07:23 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: freedumb2003

LOLOL!


6 posted on 03/14/2013 3:07:56 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: afraidfortherepublic

LOL! Thanks for posting this. All is true except that I can’t polka.


7 posted on 03/14/2013 3:12:21 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: afraidfortherepublic
If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "Frommmm the land of sky-blue waters,".....you might live in Wisconsin.

Hate to disappoint you, but the Hamm's beer bear is from Minnesota.

The rest were pretty funny, though.

8 posted on 03/14/2013 3:12:56 PM PDT by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Why would the local burger joint be closed November through March?


9 posted on 03/14/2013 3:16:40 PM PDT by bgill
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To: Vigilanteman

Yeah, but quite a few of us Wisconsinites saw those commercials. And I thought there should be some mention of lutefisk and lefse. And Ole and Lena jokes.


10 posted on 03/14/2013 3:18:51 PM PDT by driftless2
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To: bgill

The DQ near me (I am in Wisconsin) closed in winter. I am guessing they close because most people don’t eat a lot of ice cream when it is cold. This DQ was also right near Lake Michigan and a lot of their busienss was probably seasonal.


11 posted on 03/14/2013 3:21:11 PM PDT by LukeL (Barack Obama: Jimmy Carter 2 Electric Boogaloo)
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To: Jean S

What??? You must not be a native!

:)


12 posted on 03/14/2013 3:21:25 PM PDT by Bradís Gramma (Psalm 83)
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To: afraidfortherepublic

#25

I thought it was called pile BARN?!?!?!?!???


13 posted on 03/14/2013 3:23:47 PM PDT by Bradís Gramma (Psalm 83)
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To: Brad's Gramma

I was born in Wisconsin but lived in CA and NJ for a time. Took the polka out of me!


14 posted on 03/14/2013 3:24:02 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: bgill

Some smaller towns have Dairy Queens that are walk up stands — no indoor seating. Normally, they close in November and re-open in the spring. You can imagine why with our weather. The owners go to Florida, or Texas for the winter.


15 posted on 03/14/2013 3:25:08 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: Jean S

How about the weddings where all the great aunts danced together?

My sister & I told our kids to shoot us if we ever even TRIED that!


16 posted on 03/14/2013 3:26:03 PM PDT by Bradís Gramma (Psalm 83)
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To: Brad's Gramma

Depends on the size of the building, I suppose. My neighbor threw a party to celebrate the completion of his pole garage. It’s just a description of the style of construction.


17 posted on 03/14/2013 3:28:09 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: LukeL

Ice cream is down on the sells list from the burgers and fries at all the DQs I’ve been to.


18 posted on 03/14/2013 3:30:10 PM PDT by bgill
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To: Vigilanteman

You know, I thought that; but I figured I must of just forgotten some part of it. A lot of people who live up by our northern border don’t know whether they are in MN or WI, they cross the border so often.


19 posted on 03/14/2013 3:31:44 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Moved to Cleveland area 30 years ago, but I still qualify. Ain’i hey?


20 posted on 03/14/2013 3:39:45 PM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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