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Ohio prosecutor seeks death penalty in case against Punxsutawney Phil
Trib Live ^ | March 22, 2013 | Michael Hash

Posted on 03/22/2013 10:11:11 AM PDT by Kaslin

Punxsutawney Phil may have given his last forecast.

A prosecutor in Ohio is seeking the death penalty for the world-famous groundhog who emerged from his Gobbler's Knob home on Feb. 2 and did not see his shadow. His handlers proclaimed: “And so ye faithful, there is no shadow to see, an early spring for you and me.”

Michael T. Gmoser, prosecuting attorney in Butler County, about 20 miles north of Cincinnati, said on Thursday that Phil's misrepresentation of an early spring warrants the death penalty for the irrepressible rodent.

“Let's face it, Punxsutawney Phil has let us down,” Gmoser said, tongue firmly in cheek, after filing the necessary court documents.

“I awoke this morning to a snowstorm, low temperatures and howling wind.”

The National Weather Service says no real improvement is on the horizon for the Pittsburgh area with isolated snow showers expected Friday morning. Snow is likely on Sunday and there's a good chance of snow showers Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, forecasters said.

Spring began Wednesday.

“We in Butler County, like everyone in the nation, depend on Phil to give us a breath of spring in time. You know, Phil lives his life behind bars as it is. This is the only penalty available. Maybe it's time for a Phyllis instead.”

Gmoser will have a fight on his hands if he tries to arrest the Weather Prophet without Peer, said Jeffrey Lundy, vice president of the Punxsutawney Ground Hog Club.

“He's going to have to go through 15 licensed hunters to get to Phil,” said Lundy, referring to members of the club's inner circle.

“We'll find out how good of a prosecutor (Gmoser) is. If he doesn't know how to speak groundhog-ese, he'll never understand a word Phil says.”

Gmoser acknowledges a reprieve is possible.

“There may be some mitigating circumstances I may not know about. Phil may not know his rear from a hole in the ground. That might make a difference,” said Gmoser, who decided to file the court papers to break the tension at the end of a hard day in the office.

“There's a lot of things to get serious about,” Lundy agreed. “Groundhog Day is not one of them.”


TOPICS: Pets/Animals; Society; Weather
KEYWORDS:
Hang that critter
1 posted on 03/22/2013 10:11:11 AM PDT by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

Run, Phil, run!!

Or rather, waddle away briskly.


2 posted on 03/22/2013 10:13:40 AM PDT by AnAmericanAbroad (It's all bread and circuses for the future prey of the Morlocks.)
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To: Kaslin

I love the part where the prosecutor was warned that he would have to go through 15 “licensed hunters” to get the Phil. All in good fun.


3 posted on 03/22/2013 10:15:29 AM PDT by submarinerswife (Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results~Einstein)
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To: Kaslin

Can we torture the little bastid first?


4 posted on 03/22/2013 10:15:31 AM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Kaslin

““Let’s face it, Punxsutawney Phil has let us down,” Gmoser said, tongue firmly in cheek, after filing the necessary court documents.”

The tax payers are actually paying this prosector to file such motions?


5 posted on 03/22/2013 10:16:02 AM PDT by OKRA2012
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To: AnAmericanAbroad
We got ways of dealin with his kind in these parts.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
6 posted on 03/22/2013 10:17:26 AM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: cripplecreek

ROFLMAO!!


7 posted on 03/22/2013 10:23:09 AM PDT by AnAmericanAbroad (It's all bread and circuses for the future prey of the Morlocks.)
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To: cripplecreek

Don't Drive Angry!

8 posted on 03/22/2013 10:23:54 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: cripplecreek
Word is Phil is in a getaway car and has an accomplice.


9 posted on 03/22/2013 10:27:53 AM PDT by Ditto
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To: Kaslin
Hey .. we DID have an early Spring ... followed but the expected, we've been warning you about this; global cooling !

What?

Not cooling .. warming?

Oh ... CLImate change


OK, I know a lady in West Virginia that cooks up a mean groundhog stew and it is GOO-OOD !

10 posted on 03/22/2013 10:31:58 AM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
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To: Kaslin

Give the guy a break! Phil doesn’t actually make the weather, he just predicts it.

It’s not his fault that we’re having a late spring. Probably it’s the guys at the Weather Channel, or maybe Al Gore’s latest warnings against Gorbal Warming.


11 posted on 03/22/2013 10:32:12 AM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: Kaslin

after a low temp of 10 deg. this morning, that’s a hoot!


12 posted on 03/22/2013 10:33:11 AM PDT by bigbob
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To: bigbob

The weather forecast for southwestern Ohio is 4 to 8 inches of snow on Sunday.
Frankly I am enjoying this joke.


13 posted on 03/22/2013 10:44:22 AM PDT by Wiser now (Socialism does not eliminate poverty, it guarantees it.)
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To: OKRA2012

Oh, give it a rest. He is paid a salary and spends allot of his time off hours.

I love it, he has a good sense of humor.


14 posted on 03/22/2013 10:51:09 AM PDT by Jim from C-Town (The government is rarely benevolent, often malevolent and never benign!)
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To: Kaslin

We are expecting 5-8” of snow for Palm Sunday. My vegetables I have started for the garden have nowhere to go.....I WANT SPRING AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!


15 posted on 03/22/2013 10:51:52 AM PDT by Clintons Are White Trash (If stupid ever reaches $150 a barrel then I want the drilling rights to Maxine Water's head.)
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To: Ditto

“He’s got to be stopped....and I have to stop him.”


16 posted on 03/22/2013 10:52:34 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: OKRA2012
The tax payers are actually paying this prosector to file such motions?

It's a big difference between being a smartass at a press conference and actually prosecuting the fuzzy little liar from Pennsylvania. I put this in the same column as "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."

17 posted on 03/22/2013 10:57:04 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (Choose one: the yellow and black flag of the Tea Party or the white flag of the Republican Party.)
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To: Jim from C-Town

Were the court clerks in the courthouse where he filed also on their off hours?


18 posted on 03/22/2013 10:59:48 AM PDT by OKRA2012
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To: OKRA2012
Give it a rest already. It is hardly an egregious misuse of tax payer funds. It is a joke and should be taken that way. Your type of offense causes all on the right to look like jack asses.

I am also certain that the clerk was neither off hours nor hard at work!

19 posted on 03/22/2013 11:06:52 AM PDT by Jim from C-Town (The government is rarely benevolent, often malevolent and never benign!)
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To: knarf

An early Spring, where? Though we didn’t have any snow here I am tired of the cold temperatures and I realize no matter what the critter says it’s still six weeks from Groundhog day to March 20. But this has gone to far


20 posted on 03/22/2013 11:20:36 AM PDT by Kaslin (He needed the ignorant to reelect him, and he got them. Now we all have to pay the consequenses)
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To: Kaslin

SW Pa .. we had a 70 day about a week ago .. a couple of 50 touching 60 ... then the clipper flew in.


21 posted on 03/22/2013 11:34:07 AM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
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To: knarf
SW Pa .. we had a 70 day about a week ago .. a couple of 50 touching 60 ... then the clipper flew in.

I'm just glad that it hasn't gotten warm for a week to get the trees to leaf and bloom and then be hit with this weather. That can make the trees look miserable for the year and kill off the fruit.

22 posted on 03/22/2013 11:49:16 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (Choose one: the yellow and black flag of the Tea Party or the white flag of the Republican Party.)
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To: Kaslin
Forget Phil... no if you are forming a mob to go after that charlatan Al Gore; count me in!

BTW, had ground hog...not as good a coon but OK.

23 posted on 03/22/2013 11:53:03 AM PDT by fungoking (Tis a pleasure to live in the Ozarks)
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To: Clintons Are White Trash

Drone his ass...


24 posted on 03/22/2013 12:34:30 PM PDT by LachlanMinnesota
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To: dfwgator
“He’s got to be stopped....and I have to stop him.”

Well the good news is if you don't get him today, you'll have another chance tomorrow --- and the next day... and.... ;~))

25 posted on 03/22/2013 6:19:23 PM PDT by Ditto
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To: fungoking
Forget Phil... no if you are forming a mob to go after that charlatan Al Gore; count me in!

I think we need to move another 80 miles or so East from Punxsutawney PA and go up to State College PA to find Michael Mann who promised us Global Warming by now. The poor little groundhog was only listening to the Nobel Prize Winning (sic) Professor Mann.

Phil has only cost us a couple of heads of lettuce. Mann has cost us billions of dollars with his equally bad predictions.

I wonder if he saw his shadow or did he see the money he could make from his non-science?

26 posted on 03/22/2013 6:38:56 PM PDT by Ditto
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