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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 03/29/2013 5:38:53 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Festival of Smoke and Mirrors Day

When : Always March 29th

Smoke and Mirrors Day is a day of illusions. The term "smoke and mirrors" means something is not really as it appears to be. People often put up smoke and mirrors to hide something.

This day is also referred to as the Festival of Smoke and Mirrors. We did not discover an actual festival of this nature. But, who needs historical facts to have fun an a special day? Let's get out and enjoy Smoke and Mirrors Day to the fullest.






A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky. Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.

The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.

"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine. "Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?"

"Yep." "Were there any survivors?" "Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning."

"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked Well," the farmer
grumbled, restarting his tractor."He kept a-saying he wasn't...

But you know how bad that sumbitch lies...*








TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: friday; ofst; silliness; smokeandmirrors
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1 posted on 03/29/2013 5:38:53 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...


IS IT TIME?

FOR


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST


2 posted on 03/29/2013 5:39:40 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

In before the PING!


3 posted on 03/29/2013 5:39:44 AM PDT by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
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To: Lucky9teen

4 posted on 03/29/2013 5:40:07 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: envisio

Blimey... four seconds


5 posted on 03/29/2013 5:40:12 AM PDT by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
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To: envisio

6 posted on 03/29/2013 5:41:20 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

7 posted on 03/29/2013 5:41:49 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

Eggs!


8 posted on 03/29/2013 5:45:30 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (Piffle....)
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To: Lucky9teen

9 posted on 03/29/2013 5:46:57 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
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To: Liberty Valance

10 posted on 03/29/2013 5:47:49 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen
YAAAAAAAY!!!

It's the Official Thighday Frilliness Said!!!!!

Speverand Rooner lives!!!!!

11 posted on 03/29/2013 5:48:47 AM PDT by ArGee (An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
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To: ErnBatavia

Here


12 posted on 03/29/2013 5:49:51 AM PDT by DooDahhhh
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To: Lucky9teen

YES !!!
TOP 10 ?


13 posted on 03/29/2013 5:50:02 AM PDT by maine yankee (I got my Governor at 'Marden's')
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To: ErnBatavia

14 posted on 03/29/2013 5:50:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: maine yankee

NOPE


15 posted on 03/29/2013 5:50:27 AM PDT by maine yankee (I got my Governor at 'Marden's')
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To: All
Top 10 things to do at Disney if you manage to start getting bored.

10) Post a rumor that you caught Sleeping Beauty in a nip slip.

9) Find an unmarked door and form a line in front of it. After there are about 10 people behind you, look at your watch and say, "We're late for our reservation at Cinderella's Castle!" and leave. Find a bench and watch how long the line gets.

8) Follow Mickey around and make meowing noises.

7) Find Grumpy and keep asking him how he can not be Happy at Disney.

6) Go to River Country. Spend the entire day talking to anyone who will listen about how much more fun Wet and Wild was yesterday.

5) Attend the Country Bear Jamboree with your rifle. Talk about how good bear meat is. Eye the buffalo head and say, "Sally, menu's changed for tonight!"

4) When you're underground in line at Pirates of the Caribbean shout, "Nobody move! I lost a contact lens!"

3) While waiting in the cattle stalls at Space Mountain, start mooing.

2) In line for 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, keep muttering to yourself about how you should never have skipped your PADI final.

And the number 1 thing to do at Disney if you find yourself getting bored:

1) Sing "It's A Small World After All" everywhere you go.

16 posted on 03/29/2013 5:50:57 AM PDT by ArGee (An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
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To: maine yankee

In a hexadecimal system, yes you were in the top 10.


17 posted on 03/29/2013 5:51:32 AM PDT by ArGee (An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
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To: maine yankee

18 posted on 03/29/2013 5:52:37 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: All

If Rockers had gone in a different direction:

Would he have been known as Jon Ban Jovi?

Would Liv Tyler’s papa, Steve, have formed a band called Blacksmith?

Would Mick, Keith and the boys have called their band Rolling Fields?

Would that famous English Knight be known as Elton Outhouse?


19 posted on 03/29/2013 5:54:20 AM PDT by ArGee (An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
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To: Liberty Valance
Is that some type of illusion?



Ooooooohhh, thats the queer 'equal' sign.

That's going on my bumper.
20 posted on 03/29/2013 5:55:53 AM PDT by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
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To: ArGee
"River country" closed 15 years ago. Substitute with "typhoon lagoon" or "blizzard beach."

CC

21 posted on 03/29/2013 6:01:48 AM PDT by Celtic Conservative (Hey liberals, what part of "unalienable" don't you understand?)
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To: ArGee

“3) While waiting in the cattle stalls at Space Mountain, start mooing.”

I have done #3. Surprising how quickly it caught on.


22 posted on 03/29/2013 6:03:12 AM PDT by Larry - Moe and Curly (Loose lips sink ships.)
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To: envisio; Bender2
Proof positive that we need high capacity magazines ...

*H/T Bender2*

23 posted on 03/29/2013 6:04:14 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Celtic Conservative

So sorry. I haven’t been there since before Epcot Center was built.

The Mouse and I are not friends.


24 posted on 03/29/2013 6:04:54 AM PDT by ArGee (An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
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To: envisio

I still don’t get it.


25 posted on 03/29/2013 6:05:17 AM PDT by secret garden (Why procrastinate when you can perendinate?)
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To: Liberty Valance

26 posted on 03/29/2013 6:06:05 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

Ha!


27 posted on 03/29/2013 6:07:30 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

28 posted on 03/29/2013 6:08:43 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
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To: secret garden

The queers came up with an “equal” sign that is simply a red box with a pink ‘equal’ symbol in it.

It represents “equality” and means ‘I like the taste of my own poo on a hairy man’s weiner’. It has turned an internet meme.

Do the googleweb images for ‘equality sign’.


29 posted on 03/29/2013 6:12:01 AM PDT by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
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To: ArGee
2) In line for 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, keep muttering to yourself about how you should never have skipped your PADI final.

This is obviously an old list. I rode that one in 1972; the next chance I had to go back, in 1996, it was gone.

The site now appears to be occupied by the "Seven Dwarfs Mine Train", under construction.

30 posted on 03/29/2013 6:12:19 AM PDT by ExGeeEye (It's been over 90 days; time to start on 2014. Carpe GOP!)
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To: envisio

31 posted on 03/29/2013 6:17:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: envisio

32 posted on 03/29/2013 6:20:16 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: ExGeeEye

It’s a new list.

I’m an old man. I haven’t been to Disney since the early 1980s.


33 posted on 03/29/2013 6:21:24 AM PDT by ArGee (An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
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To: envisio

Eeew.


34 posted on 03/29/2013 6:22:57 AM PDT by secret garden (Why procrastinate when you can perendinate?)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top ... 40?


35 posted on 03/29/2013 6:24:24 AM PDT by Monkey Face (In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. ~ Ben Franklin)
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To: Lucky9teen

WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO TGIF!


36 posted on 03/29/2013 6:27:31 AM PDT by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
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To: Liberty Valance
To go with yours...

37 posted on 03/29/2013 6:28:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

38 posted on 03/29/2013 6:32:25 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
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To: Liberty Valance

Amen


39 posted on 03/29/2013 6:34:47 AM PDT by Vaduz
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To: Lucky9teen

Excellent!


40 posted on 03/29/2013 6:49:25 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"

Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse.

Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."

So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!"

"Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"

Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!

"Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"

Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"

Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

To which Ma replies,"Hurts, don't it?!"

41 posted on 03/29/2013 6:51:10 AM PDT by red-dawg
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To: Lucky9teen

41 posts on Good Friday and no pictures of peeps yet?


42 posted on 03/29/2013 6:54:46 AM PDT by Pan_Yan (I love it when spell check selects every single word in my post.)
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To: Lucky9teen

This internet law was proposed by Mike Godwin back in 1990. His law states: “As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1 (certainty)”.


43 posted on 03/29/2013 6:58:10 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
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To: Lucky9teen

44 posted on 03/29/2013 7:04:14 AM PDT by CharlesMartelsGhost
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To: Lucky9teen

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters. On the bottom row were these letters:

‘C Z W I N O S T A C Z.’

‘Can you read this?’ the optician asked.

‘Read it?’ the Polish guy replied - ‘I know the fellow.’


45 posted on 03/29/2013 7:08:00 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Nice. Gotta send that one to my son.


46 posted on 03/29/2013 7:20:43 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: All

47 posted on 03/29/2013 7:21:02 AM PDT by ArGee (An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
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To: All

48 posted on 03/29/2013 7:30:34 AM PDT by ArGee (An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
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To: Pan_Yan

49 posted on 03/29/2013 7:36:47 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (Piffle....)
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To: ErnBatavia

50 posted on 03/29/2013 7:43:41 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
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