Skip to comments.Husbands Who Share Housework Have Less Sex
Posted on 03/30/2013 6:38:35 AM PDT by Brookhaven
Husbands who help out with household chores have less sex than men in so-called "traditional" marriages where housework is done exclusively by the wife, researchers from the USA and Spain reported in the journal American Sociological Review.
In faithful relationships, the wife whose husband is involved in housework obviously has less sex too, the authors added.
This latest study contradicts most previous ones, which tended to imply that married men generally have more sex in exchange for doing housework. However, those studies did not take into account which chores the husbands did.
The researchers, all sociologists, said that their study demonstrated that sex is not a bargaining chip in marriage. Rather, it is associated with the kinds of chores each partner completes.
Married couples reported greater sexual frequency if the women did the cooking, cleaning and shopping and the men did the gardening, electrics and plumbing, car maintenance and paid the bills.
Co-author Julie Brines, professor of sociology at the University of Washington, said:
"The results show that gender still organizes quite a bit of everyday life in marriage. In particular, it seems that the gender identities husbands and wives express through the chores they do also help structure sexual behavior."
Lead author, Sabino Kornrich, warned that men should not assume from these findings that they should not become involved in traditionally female household tasks, such as shopping, cleaning or cooking. "Men who refuse to help around the house could increase conflict in their marriage and lower their wives' marital satisfaction."
The researchers gathered and examined data from a national survey of approximately 4,500 heterosexual married couples in the USA who took part in the National Survey of Families and Households. The survey, the largest to measure sexual frequency among married couples, included data from 1992 to 1994.
Brines does not believe that the division of household chores - which in this study did not include child care - and sex have changed much since 1994.
"Traditional female tasks" include shopping, cleaning, looking after the kids, and cooking According to the study, husbands and wives spent an average of 34 hours each week on traditionally female chores. The men's average age was 46, and the women's 44. The couples spent an extra 17 hours each week on "men's work".
On average, the males were involved in about one-fifth of traditionally female chores, and slightly more than half of male-type work. The researchers found that women tend to be more involved with helping out in traditionally male chores, than men do with female tasks.
The couples reported having sex approximately five times, on average, during the four weeks before the survey. In marriages where the woman carried out all the traditionally female tasks, the couples had sex 1.6 times as often, compared to couples where the man was involved in all the female chores.
Brines says she is not surprised that there was more sex among the traditional couples. "If anything surprised us, it was how robust the connection was between a traditional division of housework and sexual frequency." Brines is an expert in family and household dynamics.
The following possible explanations for their findings were ruled out by the researchers: Male coercive behavior played no role, because women reported similar satisfaction levels in their sex lives in both types of households (traditional or "modern")
In two-income households, the difference in sexual frequency was still driven by male behavior regarding traditional female chores. Also, the wife's income had no impact on sexual frequency.
The following had no impact on sexual frequency - gender ideology, religion, and happiness in marriage. Brines said:
"Marriage today isn't what it was 30 or 40 years ago, but there are some things that remain important. Sex and housework are still key aspects of sharing a life, and both are related to marital satisfaction and how spouses express their gender identity."
Recovery from Workload Influenced by Housework and Leisure Activity Balance
How rapidly and effectively male and female spouses recover from the burdens of work is probably influenced by a balance of housework time and leisure time, a study by experts from the University of Southern California reported in the Journal of Family Psychology.
Over half of all married couples in the USA are two-income households. The authors wondered whether the winner was the one who had the most help with the housework.
They found that what seems to be good for the male partner was bad for the female, but what is good for the female does not have enough of an impact on the male.
In another study involving 17,000 people in 28 countries, researchers from George Mason University found that married men did less housework than live-in boyfriends. The study was published in the Journal of Family Issues.
Doesn't sound like he's the expert claimed to be if those findings surprised him.
Traditional marriage works because it works.
I’ll bet the men who help out with housework are married to women who work full time and are parents as well.
Slobs of the world, UNTIE!!!
gave up fishing, hunting, golfing, drinking to do housework...
Always thought headaches accounted for frequency....how silly of me..
Women can do 2 things at once, just sayin..
Oh lawzy me.
Can I get a witness?
A woman that won’t do housework won’t comply or help in other areas too. Best to let the Democrats, NOWs and GLAD people have their worthless butts.
Now there's a quote of the day.
Some can do three things at once.
You're most likely correct. My wife is a housewife and she does most of the "female" work. I do the food shopping, but only because I pass by several supermarkets on my way home from work, so I might as well.
They may bitch and moan but sexually they want a man who will stand up for himself nomatter what. Even if he comes across a bit selfish.
I also think many women start petty arguments or say outrageous statements just to see if the man will stand up to her. It happens on a subconscious level all the time just to test how strong the man is.
Why? Such desires are more likely to result in genetically "tougher" descendants. Even if constantly fighting with men seems impractical today.
That's independent of whether or not the husband helps out around the house.
I'll be married 27 years this September. I'll tell you what: y'all who think housework is only for the women let me know how you're doing, if you make it to being married for 25 years.
I'm not ashamed to say I help out around the house. I vacuum, dust, and do dishes. I've been known to clean a bathroom or two and yes - make dinner (or a dinner reservation.) Guess what I get on those days? (Free clue: it's not bitched or yelled at for doing the housework.)
Yes, my wife works even if only part time. I don't do the chores because she's tired or nags I don't do anything around the house. I do them because I understand her love language which is acts of service. When I do something that speaks her love language she responds accordingly. She also understands MY love language, which she responds to typically after I've done something that speaks hers. ;-)
Well damn! Now I have to fire the yard guy.
How about 5?
Anyone that had read the book “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Robert Glover would not have been surprised by these findings.
Women are sexually attracted to masculinity. In particular, women are attracted to men that step up to a traditional male leadership role (not dictatorship role, btw).
Guys get married and concentrate on having an “equal/fair” marriage, that they are afraid to provide any leadership in the marriage (because, that would be unfair).
My guess is the guys that concentrate on doing more housework are also the guys that concentrate on having a fair/equitable marriage, making them tentative about exerting leadership. Making them seem less masculine in their wife’s eyes, making them less sexually attractive to their wife.
Confidence, assertiveness, decisiveness are all masculine traits women are attracted to.
Being tentative to make a decision, because it might displease your wife and looking to your wife to provide leadership/make-decisions are not masculine. The are definitely not traits women find sexy in a man.
My guess is the guys that do more housework tend to display more of the second set of traits.
The term for this is sh!t test (aka fitness test).
The woman is trying to see how much sh!t you will put up with from her. And, if you put up with a lot, you fail.
How many guys holding their girlfriend's/wife's purse in the middle of the mall realize they just failed a test?
Dummies. Men who help with housework are more tired than those who do not.
My wife's doctor mentioned this to her. Apparently there has been a real decrease and increase of these hormones in men.
What a magnificent waste of time and money.
“The couples reported having sex approximately five times, on average, during the four weeks before the survey.”
The average married couple only has sex five times a MONTH??
I... I just...
Got to tell hubby that we’re doing better than we thought.
I actually agree with you. In addition, I also tell both my daughter and my daughter in law that you don't want a guy to do all the things you'd do, the way you'd do them. If they did, they'd be gay and not the least bit attractive to you.
I'll do a lot of things, but no. No way. Never.
No wonder there are so many angry and frustrated people in this country... :-)
I haven’t held it. I have guarded it on the floor outside the dressing room. Does that make me a homo?
I’d say this is a prime example of women viewing sex as a bargaining chip. He’s already doing it. No need to give up a chip.
Nope. There’s a BIG difference. I’ll watch it or guard it, but I won’t carry it.
In other words, now both of them have a headache.
I pay housekeepers to do the women’s work. And I have no complaints in the bedroom department.
Also, if a man is doing the housework, there is a good chance she is working. If she is working the kids come first, the job second, and he's somewhere down in the pecking order. There just isn't enough of you to spread around.
I love it that my guy mows the lawn, fixes the toilet, kills the ugly bugs, takes out the trash, and for years he took the kids to the library every week. I get to do the chores I like better. I’m better at laundry, cooking and shopping, packing and event planning.
Isn’t the idea to get help from the guy on things I am not good at, or he is better at? If he tries to do what I do, I just get frustrated, because he doesn’t think like me. I can’t even watch when he makes pancakes, because he does it “wrong”. But he is my absolute favorite Christmas light installer.
Hmmm, maybe I should show my appreciation soon....
“The results show that gender still organizes quite a bit of everyday life in marriage. In particular, it seems that the gender identities husbands and wives express through the chores they do also help structure sexual behavior.”
Well, actually........what the study suggests is
the more gender does not organize everyday life in marriage, the more that fact will restructure a couples sexual behavior.
There, fixed it.
Some can do three men at once.
And you expect a self-respecting woman to respect that sh*t?
Well, technically there’s housework and then there’s yard work. Guess what we do... Otoh, let’s also remember home maintenance and repair. There’s a division of labor, but we are working together.
Love and respect your wife. Be the man of the house and make it a pleasure for her to be the woman.
Neither my first husband nor MrT5 could vacuum a floor while running the washer, never mind “real” cooking, even in the microwave, so of course they can’t think about sex at the same time-guys can’t multi-task like women-they need to stick to guy chores.
Non-sequitur. The man who does/gives more, gets less. Don’t see how that reaches your conclusion.
A man doing housework isn’t paid.
Do the math and figure it out on your own kids.
Thank God. I was afraid I would have to change teams. I really like being with my wife.
Having dodged soccer moms careening down the road while blabbing on the cell and yelling at kids in theback for years, I can say with some authority that women aren’t quite as good at “multitasking” as they imagine themselves to be.
Or, perhaps entering visuospatial skills or the lack of them into the mix is the problem?
We had three kids....One to vacumn, one to do the dishes and one to fold clothes. Life was good!!