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Church Services in the Future
Email ^ | Sunday, March 31, 2013 | Unknown

Posted on 03/31/2013 8:02:12 PM PDT by Jyotishi

PASTOR: "Praise the Lord!"

CONGREGATION: "Hallelujah!"

PASTOR: "Can we please turn on our tablet, PC, iPad, cellphone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor 13:13. And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon."

P-a-u-s-e.........

"Now, Let us pray, committing this week into God's hands.

Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook and chat with God..."

S-i-l-e-n-c-e...

"As we take our Sunday tithes and offering...

Please have your credit and debit cards ready."

"You can log on to the church Wi-fi using the password Lord909887."

Ushers circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers:

*Those who prefer to make electronic funds transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church.

*Those who prefer to use iPads flip them open.

*Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cellphones to transfer your contributions to the church account.

The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL the cellphones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!

Final Blessing and Closing Announcements...

*This week's ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place. Please log in and don't miss out.

*Thursday's Bible study will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don't miss out.

*You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers.


TOPICS: Humor; Religion
KEYWORDS: church; technology

1 posted on 03/31/2013 8:02:12 PM PDT by Jyotishi
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To: Jyotishi

Sounds plausible to me. we’re already 70% there.


2 posted on 03/31/2013 8:06:08 PM PDT by laplata (The Answer To 1984 Is 1776)
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To: Jyotishi

bump


3 posted on 03/31/2013 8:12:24 PM PDT by Christian4Bush (The USSA. Born 7/4/1776. Committed suicide 11/6/2012.)
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To: Jyotishi

It all started downhill with that dog-gone printing press.


4 posted on 03/31/2013 8:14:16 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: Jyotishi

My pastor’s sermon notes are on his laptop and some people in the congregation use tablets to pull up verse readings.

Pales in comparison to the future shock of a church in Florida 4 decades ago that installed drive-in movie speakers so people could sit in their cars and listen to the sermon when the church was filled to capacity.


5 posted on 03/31/2013 8:14:18 PM PDT by Rebelbase (1929-1950's, 20+years for full recovery. How long this time?)
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To: Rebelbase

In Seattle, where my daughter attends, one can text questions to the speaker during the evening Bible Study. He is on a stage and there is a good sized audience.


6 posted on 03/31/2013 8:21:05 PM PDT by taterjay
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To: Jyotishi
Work from home, worship from home. Try Church Online. Printed or audio sermons in a virtual chapel, attend services from your couch but please leave a credit card number for minimum donation.
7 posted on 03/31/2013 8:27:14 PM PDT by count-your-change (you don't have to be brilliant, not being stupid is enough)
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To: Jyotishi

I get a lot of spiritual edification from reading daily religious posts on Facebook.


8 posted on 03/31/2013 8:29:31 PM PDT by Ciexyz
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To: Jyotishi

Does it matter how the word is spread?


9 posted on 03/31/2013 9:06:33 PM PDT by Mike Darancette (And winter is coming.)
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To: Jyotishi

I sat in the overflow room at church today where I watched the entire service on a screen with about 100 other people. At my table me and another lady popped open our iPads to our Bible Apps to follow along. On mine I have it in parallel format with the NIV and NKJV. My tithe is delivered automagically from each paycheck.

But I still always go in person, lay hands on people to pray, greet my friends with a handshake or hug...

Today I had to break out my spare battery to finish out the service. ;)


10 posted on 03/31/2013 9:06:46 PM PDT by Frapster (There you go again...)
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To: Larry Lucido

Gutenberg was of Satan I tell ya what


11 posted on 04/01/2013 1:39:19 PM PDT by Rightly Biased (Avenge me Girls AVENEGE ME!!!! ( I don't have any son's))
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