Skip to comments.New Pope Vows to Reimage the Vatican
Posted on 04/01/2013 7:55:49 AM PDT by mnehring
The New Pope has raised a lot of eyebrows over the past few weeks with his unorthodox approach to his responsibilities. No more is the lavish apartment or gilded robes. In shocking turns, instead of people kissing his ring, the New Pope has stopped his motorcade to pray for the sick. Instead of preaching from a gilded chair, he goes to a prison and washes prisoners feet.
These types of actions have shocked Traditionalists who are not happy at all with the New Pope. The New Pope, however, feels that he is going back to more of the attitude of service of the early church and in order to assuage criticism, has taken upon himself to reimage the Vatican.
First order of business, no longer will the New Pope be referred to as the New Pope but instead, in honor of taking upon the attitude of service of Jesus, the New Pope will now be referred to as Pope Classic.
In addition to service, the Pope has seen the need to ensure that all of the members of the Catholic church are healthy, so in partnership with Michelle Obama, the Pope will lead a nutrition and exercise program and be referred to as Diet Pope.
The Pope has also indicated a willingness to reach out to many other churches of the Christian Faith. In doing so, he is bringing in some of the traditions of the Greek Orthodox church into the Vatican, including the burning of heavy incense. After careful consideration, two scents were agreed upon. When these are burned during service, the Pope will be referred to as Vanilla Pope and Cherry Pope.
The Pope has even reached out to the Mormon church and started a program where he will be referred to as Caffeine Free Pope.
Even an Atheist outreach is planned, labeled Pope Zero .
..More information to come.
And the version only available in the Vatican gift shop: Roman Pope. (Rum-and Pope)
“Things Go Better with Pope.”
That is quite a mix of Popes....a Pope Pourri?
Wow, he is even reaching out to the Scottish Orthodox church. He brought a bottle of grenadine to the archbishop, a Reverend Rob Roy.
The Anglican “Church” will not around much longer. Soon to be relegated to the ash heap of history. Allowing open queers to become preachers and women to become preachers and taking no stance on abortion and “marrying” queers has decimated it’s membership. Thousands upon thousands have converted to the Catholic Church, where none of this liberal anti-Biblical garbage will ever be allowed. And the American arm of the Anglican “Church” in America, the Episcopalians, are worse offenders than the Anglicans in England.
Is this the same church where all the big democrat abortionist politicians reside without getting summarily excommunicated?
Heretics exist in all faiths.
The doctrine of the Catholic Church NEVER CHANGES. You can’t change what is ordained by God.
There will never be homosexual “marriage” condoned by the Catholic Church. There will never be any type of abortion
allowed, there will never be women priests.
A "re-imagined" Vatican could use some of its online library bandwidth to host a searchable list of individual Catholics who, by their *public* actions and/or comments (give cites, a~la Wikipedia), have earned a spot on the rocket sled to Hell. Toss in recent photos (perhaps modeled after the mugshot websites) and it would be a hit. Focus on the gravity of the sin, first and foremost... but name names.
There could even be a smartphone app.